Umbrella Coup (Le coup du parapluie) (Le Coup du Parapluie)

This is Gregoire Lecomte, actor and vaudeville artist.

I'm not home, I'm touring...

with Roger Moore, the new James Bond. You wouldn't have caught me anyway...

because in the evenings I rehearse in the Experimental Theater of Maubeuge.

Hamlet. I am Hamlet.

To be or not to be available? That's the question...

for a popular actor like me. Thank you.

Anyway, if you want to offer me work...

you can always try your luck...

Frederic Jacquelin 25612-12 in Paris...

or his office in Hollywood, 25612-12. And yes, Hollywood...

since besides me, he also works for Woody Allen, Dustin Hoffman...

and Marlon Brando. Anyway, leave me a message.

Hello, this is Laine the plumber. We've been waiting six months

for payment. If you don't pay within...

two days, we'll send a debt collector after you. Understood?

UMBRELLA COUP

- Monique? Arlette here. Receive me? - Loud and clear.

- He just left the Saint-Sulpice hotel. - How long was he there?

- 18 min., 23 sec. He goes to the Seine. - Okay, we'll take over. Over and out.

Over and out.

- Passport pictures, please? - There, in the back.

Hello, Rolande? Monique here. The Alfa- Romeo just went past Saint-Michel.

Direction of Concorde. Over and out.

Hello, Rolande here. I'm at the Rue Royale. Can you hear me, girls?

He's going towards the Madeleine.

Oh, come on!

- Really, Gregoire! Really... - What's wrong?

- Look at how you're dressed! - Dressed?

- Why, don't I look like a killer? - Don't be stupid. Come.

I was looking for you all night to tell you to dress differently.

- Where were you? - Did you call Josyane?

- Do you think I'm crazy? - Good! I told her I was with you.

Listen Gregoire, your private life is none of my business...

A pity, because 10% of my private life is more fun than 10% of my wages.

By the way, I looked great in the cheese ad with my cowl.

Yes! But after that, they...

- didn't want you for the Samaritaine. - What would you know, Fredo.

A killer, these days, is not Palance, it's not Bogart, it's not Brynner.

Shabby, light-footed.

If I put on a mustache...

- There! - Come on now! Hurry!

- I want them to see you first. - Who else is there?

I told you, there are 2 candidates. It's in the bag.

- Not until the contract has been signed. - Fredo, look! It's him.

That's the other actor.

Palance, Bogart, Brynner.

Come on.

The man killed this morning had no known enemies.

He was killed in the Printemps department store.

Showing signs of diabolical imagination...

the murderer acted during the busy hour.

Diabolical imagination. Rapid execution.

Total lack of pity. Believe me, this is the man...

- you need to take out Krampe. - Has he worked for you before?

No, but at the airport of Tokyo, 1 year ago, that was Moskowtlz.

- His name's Moskowitz? - His name was Moskowitz on that day.

Do you know him personally?

Nobody knows him. He's had plastic surgery several times.

Which floor, Fredo? - 10.

And you, Sir? - 10.

10. - Like us.

Oh dear, what a disaster! Wait! I'll help you.

- Where is it? - In the back, that door. I'll wait.

This way, Sir.

This way to the toilet. I'll give you a hand.

A shame of that beautiful coat. Cashmere, was it?

- I'm here for the contract. - Mr. Barberini's waiting for you.

Let him wait for a second.

Sit down.

It's a fake mirror. From here, you can hear and see everything.

A blackhead.

Excuse me.

So joyous, so emotional...

to finally meet you.

Have a seat.

I've been wanting to work with you for a long time.

Whiskey!

Lorenzo. He's my godchild.

- The scenario. - An asshole!

- Me? - No, him.

Otto Krampe, nicknamed "The Whale".

- Not bad. Handsome. - Keep them, keep them.

Arms smuggling, private plane...

yacht, billions. All from skulduggery and treason...

- I like it. And I'll... - Ah, you understood fast.

It's my job. And why?

Why do I...?

Africa!

The Whale sold lousy arms...

to a third world country.

- And the blackies want his head? - That's it, the blackies...

I love it. When do we start?

Tomorrow.

- In St. Tropez. - Nice setting.

Picturesque! Perfumes, lights, beautiful girls...

crawling for Krampe and his money. It's his birthday.

- But he's afraid. - May it be his last one.

Death! That's why he hired killers...

- who are also doctors. - Normally, it's the other way around.

There's also Radj Khan. The Whale's damned soul.

An untouchable!

The dagger. -Tied to his wrist.

How did you guess?

Classic. Classic but good.

Violence, suspense... vengeance. Vengeance always pays off.

And you're telling me that?

I'm happy that for our first contract...

- There will be more, I hope? - Now that we've met...

It also depends on the conditions. I'm in high demand, you know.

I know, I know. 100 thousand.

50 now...

and 50 afterward. Is that all right?

It is. But it's a bargain.

Here's your plane ticket.

You room has been reserved in the Byblos hotel.

- Under which name? - Gregoire Lecomte of course.

Your "accessories" will be ready tomorrow morning.

At Bossoni's. 125 Rue Vieille-du-Temple.

Welcome to the Famiglia.

Wait, I'll hug you too.

Like your godfather.

Hurry up, old chap! We've been waiting half an hour.

Wait a moment. Gregoire Lecomte.

What's he like?

Fantastic! Go get Marthe and Jean-Francois.

No, don't do that. There's no need for that.

You've got it! You've got the contract. What a face!

You're quite something. I've never seen such an ugly mug.

Where were you hiding? Why have I never met you before?

Sit down. First of all, the scenario:

A Japanese diplomat, on an unofficial mission in Paris...

falls in love with a German striptease dancer.

Come in! Look at that! Is that the ugliest face you've ever seen?

- What do you think? - That sure is an ugly face.

All right, the German striptease dancer's besotted with a Palestinian terrorist.

The Japanese wants to get rid of him.

He's looking for a hit man. And that's when you show up, buddy.

That's it. This is my big break.

I'll show them! I'll show them what a real comedy actor is.

A real one. He gave me his hand to kiss.

Here, look. If I had asked more, he would have given me more.

- Give me my 10,000. - Your 10,000?

10% of 50 thousand is not 10,000.

I have to kill this big guy. In the scenario, he's the Whale.

Funny, no?

Oh, the bitch. It's a disgrace.

- I put in three francs half an hour ago. - I'm sorry. 35 minutes.

120 francs for 35 minutes?

Not even whores make that much.

- Is that an insult? - Absolutely, that's an insult.

- Let it go. Come. - This is all about vengeance.

- Driving permit, car insurance. - Get screwed.

What did you do yesterday between 5:03 PM and 6:22 PM at 34 Rue La Fayette?

- And Monday between 12 and 1, 18 Rue... - Are you spying on me, Josyane?

- Did your colleagues keep you informed? - And the Windsor hotel from midnight...

- until 7 in the morning? - Well, I had been at Fredo's.

He was ill. I stayed up all night.

Come, Josyane. I have a great contract. I'm taking you to St. Tropez.

- What's wrong with you? - Me?

- He has a... - Yes... yes...

- He's ashamed because of his wife. - No, I'm not ashamed.

Yes, you're ashamed! And besides, I'm fed up.

- I'm fed up as well. - Behave, you're a traffic warden.

- A bit of dignity, please. - Go, get lost.

- You won't need to tell me twice. - You're finished at 10:16 PM.

If you're not back at 11:01 PM... - Shit!

Ragoutoutou, ragout for my pooch. I love it very mooch. Woof, woof woof.

Ragoutoutou! What's that loser doing in this mess?

And I'm not talking about the dog. The dog's fine. Can you explain?

- I'll tell you, Mr. Director... - Can we send this ad back?

They only lent it to us for half an hour.

Send it back.

Did you see his appearance? His woolen bonnet.

- Who's the other one? - His agent. He has an agent!

- And the money? Mafia, are you sure? - I'm not sure of anything, Sylvette.

We didn't have time to plant bugs. 2 years we've been on this case.

We've been tailing everybody for blacks, whites, mafiosi...

diplomats. Everybody except the hit man who's after the Whale.

- Is he married? - Yes, to a florist. It's all here.

But he lives with a woman called Josyane Leblanc. A traffic warden.

The theater, the ads...

- It could all be a cover. - And if he's really the killer...

- I intervene? - Yes, but too late. Secret service...

had been following this case and was nearby...

but regrets having been unable to prevent the murder of Otto Krampe...

the well-known arms smuggler. The murderer was, of course...

immediately arrested and incarcerated. Et cetera.

- Are you following me, Sylvette? - I'm following you, Mr. Director.

Be ready tonight at 10:30 PM. Le Splendide theater, Rue des Lombards.

I'm telling you he's not a coward.

You're a coward.

You don't have the guts to tell him that he's a coward.

I don't? Repeat that.

You don't have the guts.

If you did, you'd already have told him.

What's Gregoire doing?

You know what? You're a coward.

You'll have to replace me starting tomorrow. I'm going to the Cote...

- You could have told me earlier. - But I didn't know, old chap.