SurrealEstate

Previously, on "Surrealestate".. .

I've got one thing

Protecting the God‐given, market‐driven value

of your property from anything in this world...

Or the next. Don't even ask.

That should be our company slogan.

None of the others like me.

We need you.

The technical term is telekinesis.

It happened to you when you were my age?

I set things on fire.

Let them see who you really are.

I bet they'll like her.

Brock moved out.

- Really? - We're done.

If you like her, you should make a move.

Duncan.

Duncan!

You're beautiful, babe.

You're snoring, or making, like, horse sounds.

Roll over.

Okay.

- Susan. - Duncan! Welcome home!

A little bubbly for you guys and a new little friend!

Settling in okay?

Mm‐hm.

Forget million‐dollar views ‐‐ this is priceless!

You guys must be loving it!

Sophie's a little under the weather this morning.

Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that.

She'll pull through.

You know, Susan, we specifically requested

Cloud White on the ceilings,

but this seems

cloudy.

They didn't use Arctic Dove instead, did they?

Surely not.

The seller's contractor received your punch list last week.

Oh, look, I know you're just the broker agent

Just the...?

Duncan,

I have had the honor of bringing you and this property together.

Your ongoing happiness is my personal responsibility.

I'm moved to hear you say that.

Especially since you insisted on writing that precise language

into the contract and made our fees and commissions

contingent upon it.

Um, as for the paint?

It looks gorgeous, but I'll check with the painter, okay?

Mm‐hm.

The water pressure is atrocious.

It's like being drooled on by an old person.

Oh, Susan. Hey!

Sophie! Are you feeling okay?

I think it's stress.

Did Duncan tell you the disturbing news

about the Arctic Dove?

Ah.

There is always a tiny hiccup or two

moving into a new place.

These hiccups are temporary,

but the ocean outside your window is forever.

Take it in.

Theme music...

*SURREALESTATE* Season 01 Episode 04

Episode Title: "A House Is Not a Home" Aired on: August 06, 2021.

So, here's the deal:

We always pretty much focus on the high‐end custom market.

But just for a moment, let us think outside the box.

Uhh, that's a lot of boxes to think out of.

This is the Somerset Estates,

a master‐planned community where families live, work,

shop and play.

It's like they're not so much a builder,

they're more like a 3D printer.

What they are is volume.

And cash flow.

Yes! Thank you! My point exactly.

Houses are built to live in and not to look on;

therefore, let use be preferred before uniformity.

So, are you with me on this?

Always.

But Francis Bacon believes you might be full of shit.

Anyway, the developer, he reached out to me last night.

Greg Chisholm,

an old nemesis.

This is huge!

They move, like,

80 units a month.

Oh, not anymore. Their volume is way down,

they're having quality issues like crazy.

Their buyers are pretty close to the torch‐and‐pitchfork stages

and they're getting killed on social media.

Product liability lawyers are probably

creeping out of their coffins as we speak.

The developer... he is hitting the panic button, big time.

So, why'd they call us?

Because, apparently, somebody believes

that many of these issues cannot be explained away

simply by shoddy workmanship.

I told him we would check it out.

Can you handle this without me?

My influencers by the sea are turning out to be

very high‐maintenance.

And they are the ones threatening to tear up

our contract, right?

In the nicest,

most loving way.

'Kay, you go ahead.

We got this.

Greg Chisholm.

Hello, Luke.

Been a while.

I didn't know you were doing master‐planned communities.

Man's gotta earn a living.

But you'd know that,

working in that weird little niche of yours.

Hope there's no hard feelings over Balmoral Farms.

Another time. Another place.

So,

shall we get to it?

You guys want to take a look around the neighborhood?

My people'd be glad to show you around.

Thanks...

But we ride alone.

Understand you're having some QC issues.

Our quality control protocols lead the industry.

Our challenges run a bit deeper.

Identical problems happening at virtually the same time

here and here and here.

Windows shattering. Floorboards splintering.

Genuine simulated granite

Formica countertops splitting in two.

Not stuff you usually see in quality‐built new product.

Luke, we're both men of the world.

You know that with the kind of volume we do,

corners get cut; compromises get made.

There'll always be a few whiny perfectionists out there.

How many complaints are we talking about?

That is a buttload of whiny perfectionists, Greg.

So, can you help us out or not?

Why us? Why now?

My boss.

His wife's into crystals and seances and yoga and shit.

Thinks there's something more happening besides

bad construction.

Boss asked me about it; told him I knew a guy.

Send me those files.

Complaints, the development plats,

the site plans, the model schematics... everything.

We'll do what we do and we'll get back to you.

Look, Luke,

if you can help us out here now, we can

make it worth your while.

Like you did at Balmoral Farms?

You picking up anything?

This feels like

the least haunted place in North America.

We are looking for wandering souls

in a soulless environment.

Hardly seems productive.

That's why I like the Donovan place.

It's a creepshow that dares to look like a creepshow, right?

What?

Something odd.

Kieran! Tiffany!

Lunch is ready.

Ah!

Okay, where were we? Um... Items

twenty seven forward are

incessant pounding noise;

light switches have weird texture;

water pooling on floors.

More like "seeps".

Just appears... it's not like we're spilling it.

She knows, Duncan.

Well, I'm sorry, you asked me to be more thorough.

Right, but you're mansplaining what pooling is.

You know, it really hurts me

when you just throw that term around.

Sometimes it's just explaining!

With a penis.

Guys, let's just get through this, okay?

Arctic Dove, not Cloud White

and wobbly walls.

Sorry, I...

Ca‐can you unpack that for me? Wobbly?

Every time I walk by this mirror, it's, like, moving.

And it happens upstairs, too.

I need mirrors to be impeccable. I'm an influencer, so...

Sophie,

they're your mirrors.

They work fine everywhere else.

So the problem must be with the walls.

Mm‐hm.

Let me look around; take a few measurements.

Check a few colour chips. And then let's talk.

So, we have what?

17 houses with spontaneous breakages

and system failures. Phil?