Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Stories heal. Stories hurt.

If we repeat them often enough,

they become real.

They make us who we are.

They have such power.

This I learned

on the very last autumn of our childhood.

Now it's time to dig yourselves

out of your graves, Mill Valley.

It's Halloween.

But be careful, 'cause when the sun goes down,

it's The Season of the Witch.

I did it. I'm going to 'Nam. Yeah.

Those commies are gonna pay.

Let's go scare some kiddies tonight, guys.

But let men everywhere

know that a strong and a confident...

Thanks.

...and a vigilant America...

Going out with your friends tonight?

I'd rather just stay in.

...and stand ready tonight

to defend an honored cause.

Stella, pick up.

Stella...

I don't want to go trick-or-treating.

Stella. Stella,

this isn't about candy. It's about payback.

Get all the eggs and TP you can

and meet us at 7:00.

Stella, please.

This could be our last Halloween together.

If you think you have it hard,

I have to fish a turd out of the toilet.

You are disgusting, Chuck.

Hey!

You know where you're going, kid?

Following the harvest.

Tonight only.

Mom. It's fine.

No, it's not.

Still a little loose in the crotch.

One more.

Take that!

Bullseye.

You got to pick up every stitch...

Let's go, girls.

Hey, gimme.

Eat shit, Harold.

Tommy, slow down.

Must be the season of the witch

What the hell are you doing?

A little privacy, please!

Ugh.

I said Spider-Man.

Not a spider...

man.

Be happy the Lord provided.

Mom, okay, jeez.

Mom, can I please breathe?

Be nice.

Okay! Can you please stop hugging me like that?

Aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating? Hmm?

Aren't you too ugly to go on a date?

You little turd.

Auggie's here, gotta run.

I don't wanna hear it.

Thought you were gonna be Spider-Man.

Yeah, well, get used to it, okay.

I got the goods, so let's banana split.

Stop staring at my sister,

you perv.

Hey, can you not?

I mean, these antennae aren't even realistic.

And, if anything, a spider man

should have eight arms, not four.

Okay. At least I'm not a clown.

For the last time, I'm a Pierrot.

It's a 17th-century character from la commedia dell'arte.

Psst. Clown.

Do you even know what's in those?

It's the same toxic chemicals that's giving our troops Hodgkin's lymphoma

and curdling the breast milk of the South Vietnamese.

- Mmm. - And you ate them all.

Mmm.

Is that why they taste so good?

Out of the way, clown.

Nerd!

Move!

- He's not gonna show. - What? No, he'll show.

Okay, Milner does it every year

and this year will be his last.

Where are you, Tommy?

I heard the school newspaper

is open to submissions again.

You should submit some of your stories.

- Come and steal our candy, Tommy. - No way.

I know our school.

They would disembowel me.

Pontiac Catalina. It's him, it's him! Okay.

Okay, just act natural.

You said we'd go out for dinner.

You and me.

How about some dessert?

Get ready, man.

Ha-ha! Suckers!

Oh, what's that smell?

- Oh, it's old-man undies! - Ugh!

We got him.

All right, here we go. Let's do this. Let's do this!

Bully this, asshole!

Douchebags!

God damn it! Those little shits.

And now for the poo d'etat.

Eat turd, shitbird!

Holy shit.

- Stop the car! - Put it out!

What is Ruth doing here?

Chucky, you little brat!

I don't know. I knew she was

going on a date but not with him.

Damn it!

I'm gonna murder them!

Argh! Come back!

Go!

I'm going to get you!

Let's get 'em!

Come on, guys, go!

Over there! Get him!

Oh, douchebags, nine o'clock!

Oh...

...behind those tree

if you want to go check it out.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

Is this seat taken?

Uh, I don't... Guess not.

Hey, get out of my car.

Please, please.

Be out of here in a minute.

Thanks, okay.

What are you guys doing?

We're saving our bacon.

Sorry.

Okay, okay. We're good.

- We're good? - He's gone.

Thanks. We owe you one.

I am a Pierrot.

- You live in here? - Hey.

Stay out of my stuff.

Got it.

So, what are you doing alone at a drive-in?

What are you still doing in my car?

I understand you're...

You're not from here, are you?

Where are you from?

Forgive my friend.

He did not get enough oxygen in the womb.

More than you, clown.

Can you guys stop?

It's him, not me.

Yeah, we're stopping.

Your friend is a little nosy.

Night of the Living Dead.

It's a good flick.

You've seen it?

"All right, Vince, hit him in the head,

"right between the eyes."

That's the best flick all year.

Yeah, yeah, it's... It is.

Ramon.

Stella.

Chuck.

Auggie.

Get out of the car.

Get out of the car.

Get out of the car.

I don't think that you heard me.

Everyone needs to get out.

- Mmm-mmm. - Now.

You too,

wetback.

You're not going to try and run away

like Mommy too, now are you, Stella?

You smell like shit.

Get the hell off my car.

Hey, down in front. You're blocking the view!

Come on!

I can't see the movie!

Hey! Get back in your car or get the hell out of here!

Hey!

This ain't over.

Let's go.

Move it, you idiot.

- Let's go. - Huh?

Get back in your car. Let's go. Come on.

Okay, let's go.

Where we goin'?

That way.

Okay, we'll go together.