Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

- Get him! - Don't let him get away!

- Give us that box! - Oh, not the face!

- Will ya hand it over? - His arms!

- I got 'em! - Watch his feet!

Watch out!

Hold still!

You know? You really don't wanna do this.

So, why don't you just let him go, huh?

- Because he's still breathing. - Yeah?

Well, I think he'd like to keep it that way. Don't you?

- Wise guy! - Over here!

Grab me a whip!

- Quickly! - Let's go!

We'll get 'em later!

We need more men!

Ha-ha-ha.

Not that I couldn't have handled them myself, but thank you.

Well, it's a little early in the day for highway robbery, isn't it?

Oh, not at all.

I try to start every day with a healthy dose of excitement.

Bandits, lions, lynch mobs, anything to get the old heart started.

Autolycus is my name.

Iolaus. Is that the kingdom of Cyros?

It is, indeed. You have business there?

- Nah, I'm just meeting an old friend. - Ah.

- This way! - Over here!

Yeah, I see 'em!

Oh, sounds like those bandits have returned.

Yeah. Well, if it is them, they've brought friends.

- Looks like we're surrounded. - What do you mean, 'We'?

You got me out of trouble, I'm sure you can do the same for yourself.

Yodle... ee... hoo!

- Where's your partner-in-crime? - My p--

- ah, no, no, no. I was just-- - Tell it to the judge.

- You're under arrest. - What for?

You're standing on it.

Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend of mine.

He's... oh... about this tall, blond hair. His name's Iolaus.

I'm sorry. I don't know him.

I just met your little friend. He gave me this.

Well, if you called him 'Little', you're lucky that's all he gave you.

Do you know where I can find him?

In prison for stealing the king's prize ruby.

Punishment is...

Ha!

This is the story of a time long ago.

A time of myth and legend,

when the ancient gods were petty and cruel,

and they plagued mankind with suffering.

Only one man dared to challenge their power-Hercules.

Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.

He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of wicked stepmother, Hera,

the all-powerful queen of the gods.

But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer,

there would be Hercules.

Too many moving parts.

I keep telling you think simple.

There's someone here to see you, my Lord.

Says his name is Hercules.

- King Menelaus. - Hercules?

Hercules, I know that name.

Ah, y-you're father's someone important, isn't he?

Zeus, king of the gods, if that sort of thing impresses you.

Your Majesty, there's a man in your jail names Iolaus.

- He's my friend, and-- - Oh, yes, the thief.

We're trying him tomorrow. He-he'll be executed shortly afterwards.

No, now, look at this. It's a new geared winch.

With it, one man raising a stone can do the work of four.

- That's very nice, but, uh-- - The problem is, I...

I don't want three out of four men unemployed,

just for the sake of progress.

I can see where that would be a problem. Now, about my friend.

- Your friend? - Yes.

Oh-oh, yes, yes. Well, he plundered my treasury.

I mean, we still haven't recovered the stone from my set.

It's a dragon's-eye ruby given to my great-great-grandmother

by Maleus the Mighty. Ha-ha.

Maleus had no easy job persuading the dragon to give it up.

Iolaus would never do anything like that.

He's the most honest person I know.

Then why doesn't he tell us where the ruby is?

- Because he didn't take it. - Oh-ho!

I'll be the judge of that literally.

Oh!

Dirce... ha. She's famous for her entrances.

- That's wonderful. - Yes, you better say that.

She's your friend's lawyer.

Hi.

Maybe there's something both of you should know about Cyros.

No crime goes unpunished here. It's the law.

Unfortunately, when the real culprit can't be found

- innocent people have been executed. - Oh-ho! Good!

I'm sorry, but the law is part of our tradition.

And as much as the king loves things that are

new tradition gets the best of him every time.

And you're willing to let your tradition kill an innocent man.

I only care about protecting my clients.

Justice for the people.

Humanity before tradition.

But frankly, if we don't catch the real thief his goose is cooked.

Well?

- His name was Autolycus. - Autolycus?

- You know who that is? - Everybody around here knows Autolycus.

The peasants call him, 'The King of Thieves'.

I have his description here. There.

The king's constables swear he's uncatchable.

And Autolycus has said that he'd rather die than be brought to justice.

Well, you're about to find out if he's true to his word

- because I'm going to catch him. - Well, you'd better hurry.

The king has decreed that the trial starts tomorrow.

They don't waste any time here, do they?

- How are you at stalling? - I may be able to get you three days.

Yeah? What if it takes more than three days to catch him?

Well, then I'll make sure that

the king feels guily about beheading the wrong man.

- Autolycus, right? - Ah, you've heard of me.

Not until yesterday. I believe you took something that doesn't belong to you.

Rumor and innuendo.

Oop!

Uh!

You're too easy. You know that?

I thought the King of Thieves would be harder to catch.

- Who are you? - Hercules... heard of me?

Oh! We-ell, that makes perfect sense!

Only the son of Zeus could've found me!

Well, you left quite a trail.

See, next time you're running from the law,

don't stop to shake hands with every villager you meet.

Oh, but Hercules, how can I deny them? The people love me.

- Force yourself. - I'd rather do this.

You're only making more trouble for yourself.

If I didn't like trouble, I would've gone into a different line of work.

Yodle-ee-hoo!

Maybe this isn't going to be so easy.

The thief is to be escorted to the court.

- The alleged thief. - Whatever.

No convictions without a trial!

Here is is, provision 99 the review of evidence by outside audit.

That'll easily take up two-and-a-half days.

Of course, that still doesn't give your friend much time to catch Autolycus.

- Well, if anyone can, Hercules can. - It'll still vex him, though.

- Who? - The king, he's very impatient.

He'll probably regret accepting my proposal.

- What proposal? - Counsel for the defense.

- I'm the one who came up with the idea. - I'm surprised he agreed to it.

Ha-ha. He likes to think he's progressive.

Ha! What a joke! Oh.

Would ya mind getting that for me?

Yah!

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Ha-have you seen a tall man with dark hair and a green tunic?

He might have tried to shake your hand.

Do you mean Autolycus.

- None other. - Sorry, not today.

Is there anywhere else to cross the river?

Oh, footbridge twenty miles downstream. But it washed away.

Thanks for your help.

You'll never catch him, you know.

Oh! Excuse me!

- Autolycus! - Ooh. Oop! Pardon me!

Go, Autolycus! Go!

You'll never catch The King of Thieves!

Yodle-ee-hoo!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Ah, even the great Hercules is no match for The King of Thieves.

Can't you do any better? I learned that trick when I was a boy.

Sorry, Hercules. But I've got a reputation to maintain.

I'm afraid I've got to ruin it.

Yah!

Oh, oh, oh, gods above, put me down!

So much for the direct approach.

It's been a pleasure, Hercules!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Oh!

Ooh!

Ah!

Uh-oh.

The evidence is in. Counsel has two minutes for closing arguments.

Your lordship, I propose that all evidence here today be subject

to Provision 99 the review of evidence by outside audit.

Ah, that won't be possible, Counselor. I retired Abagustus yesterday.

- What? - Who's Abagustus?

The only outside auditor in Cyros. How could you let him retire?

Dirce, the man is 97 years old.

The only thing he's got energy for is to sleep.

So if you can't think of anything better than that--

J-just wait a minute. OK, I-I'm sure there's something.

Ah.

- Provision 46. - That's strictly for maritime insurrections.

Oh, right.

Um... well... amendment 12 K to Provision 7.

Applies only to politicians with records of heredit'ry insanity.

Oh, yes. Um...

Time is running out, Counselor.

The court is ready to pass judgment.

I propose that the court enact the Erebus test

- the ancient test of innocence. - But that could take days.

- And besides, it's barbaric. - But, it's part of the traditional law.