Hawaii Five-0

Damn it.

[Hawaii Five-O theme song plays]

Look... for the record, all right?

To be clear,

I do this for you,

we're even, we're square, right? There's no-no favor

hanging over my head anymore?

Are you referring to the liver that I gave you,

the-the gift of life?

Is that the...? That's the one.

Yeah, okay, we're even,

'cause this is life or death.

All right. All right. Good.

Hey, bud. Thank you.

I just got to make sure you're okay with this.

I mean, you've been getting a lot of mileage out of this one.

You sure you want to retire it on something small like this?

Yeah, yeah. You-you don't, you don't know

what we're walking into, you haven't met her.

You'll-you'll understand when you, when you do, okay?

Danny, I've done a lot of protection details in my life.

I got to say this is genuinely fascinating.

I've seen you in a lot of tough situations

over the years, right? Yeah.

Life on the line type stuff, back to the wall.

Mm-hmm.

Look at you, you're all tense and edgy over an old lady?

Well, that-that should tell you something, shouldn't it?

All right. I mean, all I'm saying

is that it doesn't make sense to me, all right?

And she's not even your mother-in-law anymore

and look how dramatic you're being.

Okay, I'm not being dramatic, okay?

You don't know her, I do.

She, uh, she's a certain way;

she tortured me my entire marriage.

Okay? Just, what are you gonna do? Just tell me.

I'm gonna stand there and look handsome

and not say anything ever. That's right.

That's right-- she's-she's, she's very snobby,

she does not, uh, have a good sense of humor.

You will offend her if you are yourself, so don't do that.

Okay?

Whatever you want. I'm just saying,

I'm sure she's not as bad as you're making out.

Okay.

Oh, thank God you're here.

Something terrible has happened.

one die?

The airline has lost my luggage.

Oh. Oh. Hello.

Who's this?

- Um... Yeah. - Come on in, come on in.

Stop dragging your feet, Daniel.

I'm walking as fast as I can.

Victim's name is Brad Chen.

24 years old.

C.O.D. was...

Well, he was hit by a semitruck head-on

traveling at 70 miles per hour.

Oh, yeah, that'll do it.

You'll excuse me if I don't lift the sheet

to take a look at this one? - Of course.

This happened on the H-1 highway late last night,

and according to witnesses,

Mr. Chen walked into oncoming traffic

shirtless and screaming at passing motorists.

Really? Well, it seems to me

that Mr. Chen's sudden desire

to stop a speeding truck

with his face was perhaps chemically induced.

Oh, he was definitely on drugs, all right.

Just not the kind you might expect.

Tox screen indicates a cocktail of HGH

and testosterone, as well as a huge dose

of pyrovalerone.

Okay, I've heard of the first two,

but what's Pyro... Pyro...

Valerone. It's a central nervous system stimulant.

Athletes use it

to increase stamina and to shed weight.

But the thing is,

this drug is almost chemically identical to bath salts.

It causes delirium, agitation, paranoia.

Users often feel invincible,

which can lead to self-injurious behavior.

Okay, so the guy took a bad cocktail

of drugs and convinced himself he was the Incredible Hulk.

What do you guys call that again?

What is it, "death by misadventure"?

Yes, but this isn't a case of that.

I had the lab run a tissue sample,

and analysis confirmed that our Vic

was definitely a regular steroid user,

but there was no sign

that he'd ever used pyrovalerone before.

And for good reason-- nothing good

can come out of combining these drugs.

A high dose like this, and pyrovalerone is extremely lethal.

So you're saying the presence of this drug

all but guaranteed his death?

I'm saying that if Brad Chen hadn't been killed by the truck,

he would have died within a matter of hours

from massive cardiac arrest.

Well, then that leads me

to conclude there's only one of two things possible here.

Either Chen goofed up his regular injection

by topping it off with the drug that killed him...

Or someone wanted him dead and then messed with his steroids

to make it happen, in which case, this wouldn't

be an accident. - That's right. It'd be murder.

This is all my fault.

This is what I get for flying commercial.

And of course, also...

for compromising my standards

for the sake of my cheapskate publisher.

Here.

Do sit down.

And now my beautiful Louis Vuitton vintage luggage

is God knows where.

I mean, how difficult can it be

to get seven suitcases on a plane?

Seven suitcase? How long, uh, how long you staying for?

Two days. Ah.

So you packed light.

Sorry. That's a terrible joke. This is horrible,

what's happened, but we're gonna get

to the bottom of it; we'll figure it out.

You know, I don't think

that you really understand the enormity

of this crisis, Daniel.

Oh, no, I-I do.

But please, explain to me the enormity of the crisis.

Isn't it obvious?

I have absolutely nothing to wear

for my book signing. You look fantastic!

You should wear what you're wearing right now.

Don't be ridiculous.

I can't possibly wear this travel-stained, creased outfit.

My fans expect me to look glamorous all the time.

I guess I'll just have to pray to the gods of fashion that

I can find something suitable in this godforsaken place.

You don't say much, do you?

How long have you known him?

Daniel's my partner. We work together.

My name's Steven.

And for the record, it's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Savage.

Oh, please, call me Mandy... Steve.

And I'm very happy that we're gonna be working together.

I hope that Daniel filled you in on the problem.

My usual security officer, Gavin,

well, his visa ran out,

so he's trapped in the U.K.

Aha. Well,

we will endeavor to fill

Gavin's shoes

and make sure your stay here is both pleasant and safe.

Well... you certainly look the part.

But are you capable?

I can handle myself.

I'll bet you can.

Uh, he's a...

ex-Navy SEAL. - Mm-hmm.

He's the head of Five-O, so he could definitely handle

a couple of crazy fans, no problem.

Well, how divine.

A Navy SEAL-- that is so exciting.

Well, I think we'd better stop chitchatting,

otherwise I'm never gonna get anything to wear.

Uh, would you mind calling the limo?

The lim-- Uh, we got,

uh, I got my car downstairs.

Oh. What is it?

It's a Camaro.

A Camaro?

I don't think so.

I'll just go freshen up.

Ciao.

So...

what do you think?

Expensive.

Not about the champagne. Oh, she's great.

I love her. See?

- I love her. - Yeah, well,

she served you champagne.

She didn't give me any champagne.

She also never told me to call her Mandy--

I've known her 20 years.

- Right? - Yeah. - You hear the thing about the car?

What do you think about that? Not nice.

Not a nice thing to say.

I think she knows what she wants, and I think

you need to relax.

That's all. Just take it, take it down a notch.

Okay?

Ready to go, boys?

Yep.

Do you mind? Do I mind?

Of course I don't mind. Oh. Thank you.

Uh... andiamo.