Doom Patrol

Get out of my way. I need a sprinkle.

But now, the putrid little primate

that you shelled out your shekels to see.

All right. Looks like you're up, girly.

And here she comes now!

A hideous curiosity captured deep in the icy Yukon wilderness

where legends say she's the cursed progeny

of a witch and a mountain beast.

Bestowed with gifts most unnatural

and born with looks that will surely stain your memories for years to come...

the Ape-Faced Girl!

I got something else long and sweet for ya, monkey girl.

Calm yourselves.

Calm yourselves, ladies and gents.

There is much more to see, of this I can promise you.

She just needs a little darkness to calm herself, concentrate,

and conjure up a very special friend of hers.

Behold! An animal the likes of which you have never seen before.

A beast from a time long forgotten.

I know you don't like it...

but it'll be over quickly if you behave.

A ferocious monster tethered to her deranged mind...

We just have to do as he says.

The ape girl's gruesome pet.

No sudden movements if you please, ladies and gents,

for this is no tame circus animal.

This is a true wicked conjuring

with teeth that can rip through a human skull.

Would you like to watch him dance?

Give us a twirl.

Go on, now!

We'll be done soon, I promise.

Around the other way.

What's wrong?

What are you doing?

Who are you looking at?

I said the other way!

- No! - You will obey me!

You little cunt! Control your animal! Take it down!

Make it stop!

Make stop!

Who is this? Which one are you?

- Help... girl! - What do you mean?

- Help us how? - Make wish.

What?

Ow!

Make wish.

I...

Save girl.

Girl...

Safe.

With sunrise, another day begins.

So, let's be ready for today.

No wicked words...

no teeth, no claws.

Only fun and laughs and play.

Well, of course we can.

But first, we have to say good morning to all our new friends, don't we?

You haven't forgotten them, silly. You can't have.

Oh, you're being ridiculous.

All right, all right. Let's see.

God damn it!

Tall as a house, mad as a lion...

Piece of shit!

...the big funny tinman...

Motherfuck.

...with lots of pretty fast cars.

Stupid bitch-ass! Fuck! Goddamn!

And lots of not-so-pretty words.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

And there's a sad girl who sang us out of the dark.

She doesn't sing much anymore.

Well, she doesn't do much of anything these days, really.

Oh, and you must remember the boy hero.

That's right, a proper superhero.

And last of all, there's the fair princess.

She's got skin made of rubber.

Al least, that's what I've been told.

But when she smiles sometimes,

I think she might actually be made of glass.

No, I'm not scared of them. Why would I be?

This is a special place. It's where we belong now.

And this is who we belong with.

Maybe we're not all friends just yet,

but I just know we will be, eventually.

Someday, we might even be better than friends.

Maybe someday, we'll be a family.

Perfect.

Rise and shine, everyone! Rise and shine.

Must you wake us every morning with that bell? It's so folksy.

No more bells after today, Rita. I promise.

It's ready?

Larry is completing his final test on the substance as we speak.

And it's definitely gonna work this time, right?

Unlike every other time?

All right, buddy.

No pressure,

but we're counting on you.

Anything?

Shit! Shit, shit, shit.

Oh, God.

This is important.

The... transformation could prove to be very exhausting

and could take up to several hours.

Wait, did you just say "hours"?

It's a very delicate and intricate process.

The chemical needs time to permeate each and every cell of the body.

I'm no asshole scientist with a God complex or anything,

but what about those of us who don't have a body?

Well... my theory is that the chemical will interact with carbon structures,

- meaning -- - Nope! Not buying it.

What? You guys really think he's just suddenly capable

of reversing this bullshit?

He's had days, weeks!

Nothing's happened, and it sure as shit ain't gonna happen today.

- You don't know that. - Yeah, I do.

He's a shitty scientist. Look around you, Vic.

We are his fucking life's work. What does that tell you?

You look here, you great big steaming, reeking pile of regurgitated --

Pancakes!

- Thank God. I'm starving. - Good. Breakfast.

We'll need our strength, so, everyone, make sure you fuel up before we begin.

Uh... Chief.

I called it. I fucking called it!

Thank you, Larry!

Please, everybody sit down. Let's sit down together.

Oh, boy.

Jane, Baby Doll's favorite. Extra syrup.

She's not hungry.

I'm sorry, Rita.

Do you think it might be time to try something else?

If science isn't working, maybe we should look elsewhere.

After all, what happened to us in that painting

wasn't completely scientific.

Magic. I'm not exactly overjoyed at the thought of seeing him either,

- but Willoughby might have an answer. - No.

At the very least, he could point us in the direction of a book, or a boy,

- or a horse head. She seemed nice-- - No.

Look, I'm sorry, Rita. He can't help. Not with this.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

- What are you doing? - Uh... nothing.

I know what you're up to. You're going to feed the rats.

- Sure. - Can I come?

Nope.

Cheese delivery.

I know you want it, motherfucker.

Come on. Come on.

Squeak, squeak, motherfucker! Oh, yeah!

You can't keep doing this.

You see what's it's doing to us, right?

Forgive me if I don't want to deal, Hammerhead. We're stuck on a toy.

God, I could rip your fucking face off!

It's not about we, or you, or me.

It's about the girl. It's about Kay.

- Or have you fucking forgotten that? - Fuck you.

Who did this?

Who did this?

Did I hurt you?

What the hell are you doing in here?

Sorry. I was just trying to help.

I saw it stuck in, and it looked really painful.

So you just barge into my personal space?

I--

You can't just walk in here whenever you want.

Fuck.

I'm sorry.

- I didn't mean to blow up at you. - It's okay.

I know being a grown-up is hard,

and sometimes you have to yell to get all the bad feelings out.

Yeah, well...

being a grown-up doesn't give you a pass on being an asshole.

Shush, you! I know it's a naughty word.

Who are you talking to?

Darling... and Herschel.

- Who? - My friends.

You can't see them right now because they're inside.

Just like your friends.

The ones inside your head.

Dorothy? Being a little busybody, are we?

- It's fine, we were just-- - Why don't you go out and play

and let Jane and I have a little grown-up chat?

But Darling was just saying that--

Just a moment, sweetheart.

Okay.

What do you want?

Well, if you're gonna get right to it... I need the serum.

The one Josh Clay gave you.

I know you've been using it, and I'm not here to lecture.

I just want it back... for Dorothy.

- For Dorothy? - To keep her safe.

That's why it was created in the first place,

as a... safety net.

It's gone.

I used it all.

Right.

Jane...

if you need to talk to someone,

or scream and shout at someone, as the case may be...

I want you to know I'm here.

I'll always be here for you.