Let's Talk About Women (Se permettete parliamo di donne)

Logiusso Gaspare!

My husband is not in.

Where is he?

He's gone grape picking.

When is he coming back?

After the Angelus.

Would you like to try our wine?

Why do you want to see him?

It tastes good.

What do you want from him?

It's men's business.

I never did that.

Never with another man!

I did it for my husband.

For you, Gaspare,

because I love you and I don't want to lose you.

To save your life!

You're still here?

What else do you want?

- I'm waiting for your husband. - What?

I only did this so you would leave.

You're a man of honor.

You must leave.

Do it for me!

Promise me.

Promise me you will leave.

All right.

Fine...

I'm leaving.

Tell your husband that

here is the rifle I borrowed from him yesterday.

Thank you for everything.

Hi!

Hi, Fabiani. Excuse me, sir.

I didn't recognize you.

Got a cigarette for this poor match? Thanks.

You can always count on my matches.

- We pay taxes on matches too. - What's said is said.

Always the same old prank.

Why don't you give me a Roman salute, then?

Say hello to your missus.

Look who's coming? Hello, sweetie. How's it going?

Fancy watching television at my place tonight?

What about your wife?

- I'll come to your place. - My mother will kick you out.

It's so complicated! There's no use having a TV, then?

Bye, Marco.

Bye, Miss Ministry of Transport. Say hello to your mother.

You're working late, today?

I'm not sure...

What have you done to your coat?

What a shame! Let me help you.

Overnight?

Bring your deck of cards, we'll fleece the caretaker.

Hi, John Wayne!

You were at the office?

Of course.

I didn't see you.

From 9 to 11, I went to watch a game of table tennis.

Come with me to the betting office. I've got some tickets.

- I filled them in this morning. - Are you tired?

- You bet! - Let's go for a drink.

All right, then.

Last one in pays the bill!

Force your way through. Watch the bus!

Mission accomplished!

Well done!

You know my mother used to date Zatopek's father

and you still want to race against me!

God, you're so short!

I almost have to kneel down to spray this in your eye!

- You're crazy! - Don't get upset about this.

Can't believe your eyes, can you? Let's have this drink.

Wait a minute.

- You're going back home? - Yes, why?

If you wait for me, you could give me a ride.

I'll buy you a drink and then we'll go.

That makes 3 drinks. Hand over the money, we have a guest.

Tell the man you're sorry.

3 Martinis with olives and sausages!

To starboard!

Here we are. This is my manor.

Steer straight ahead.

Thanks a lot. I think we're there.

We only risked our lives 7 times!

- All right, off I go. - We had a good laugh.

Thanks, no need to make a fuss.

If you want to stay for lunch, meet me at your place.

That's some car you got here! You can drive home now.

Don't forget, to brake, use the one in the middle.

Idiot.

Mr. Alvaro De Santis lives here?

Second floor, number 7.

I know, that's where I live.

I should have guessed. I fall for it every time.

You should go on a diet.

Nothing beats walking!

"She poisoned her husband and ran off with her neighbor."

Hello, Mrs. Marietta.

Pack your suitcase while I poison my husband.

Give me 10 minutes.

Don't use arsenic, it's a classic and it's very sour.

He doesn't even like vinegar.

So don't use vinegar either.

Alvaro?

Hello.

Hello, Luisa.

You look tired.

I am. I have loads of work.

What an awful morning! I've got a headache.

Let's have lunch, you'll nap afterwards.

I can't, I have to go back to work.

My slippers...

Stop that!

You're 10!

You're too old for these childish games.

Always clowning around...

What will become of you?

Turn around!

Behave yourself.

What a life!

Can't wait for my retirement.

- Have we met before? - No.

Let's get to know each other.

Bye!

Very comfy place you have here!

A woman likes to be comfortable. Usually, I go to a hotel.

But when I have guests, I like to make a good impression.

You're right.

You always work where I picked you up...

- Met you, I mean. - Yes, till 9.30 pm.

My last client usually gives me a ride home.

So you don't pay for the taxi.

That's clever.

Well done.

Could you turn around?

- You don't mind? - Not at all.

I know this guy!

- It's my husband. - No!

We've been married for 3 years.

I know him.

It's Roberto Romarini!

- How do you know him? - How do I know him?

We were in the same class, 15 years ago.

We played on the same basketball team.

What a coincidence!

You're his wife!

Congratulations!

He put on some weight and lost his hair

but he still has the same smile.

I'd be happy to see him again.

Wait here, he'll be back in half an hour.

No, I have to go.

Where did you put my trousers?

What an idiot, I put them in the wardrobe.

- Excuse me. - It's no big deal.

I can't help it, I have to tidy up!

If you want to stay, I'll make you some coffee.

No thanks, don't bother.

Now's the wrong time for that.

I won't mind. Besides Roberto will be pleased.

You sure?

If you think he'll be pleased.

You're a nice person. Did you hear me?

Roberto is lucky

he found a girl like you: serious, conscientious...

You can tell straight away.

You're not one of those boring shrews.

You've been around. Can't learn your trade in school.

Girls like you are born prostitutes.

You're right.

Is this expensive? What is it?

A Clavinova.

Nice place you have here.

In Tokyo there's a school where they teach women

- how to take care of men. - Really?

They get a diploma?

All I know is that it's a recognized profession

such as typist or social worker.

Believe me, I just came back from the Olympic Games.

Those Japanese, they're something!

They make such tiny radio sets.

I always carry one in my bag.

It keeps me company.

In America, all you buy is Japanese.

You can read "Made in Japan" on the feet of new-born babies!

That's him.

Wait!

How can I explain how I got here?

Don't worry, I brought you here.

Hide, we'll surprise him.

- Good evening, honey. - Darling!

I went to see Aunt Margherita. She's so lonely.

She's inviting us for lunch next Sunday.

Roberto, look who's here!

- Who's that madman? - Your old school pal.

I'm Tonino. Don't you recognize me?

Tonino Zaffardi. Tony the Nip.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing?