Boston Legal

Let me tell you something, you two women

couldn't be more beautiful if you were paid for.

- Denny! - What?

God, you're sexy!

Marry me.

How about a dance instead?

Then we can get married.

Alimony check's already cuttin'.

He's certainly in his element tonight.

Are you?

I could be, with proper coaxing.

Do you know what i'd really like to do?

Tell me.

I would like you to take me home,

and ravage me.

Leaving me weak, gasping for breath...

And pregnant.

What was that last part?

I want to have a baby.

Yours.

- You live here? - No, no, no. Don't be silly!

I have a big home in the burbs.

I just use this place in the city for quickies.

You make it sound so romantic.

Oh, we're so right for each other, Cynthia.

- Mmm. - I can feel it.

You're hot.

I'm in heat.

We're a match...

Waiting to ignite.

Oh, Denny!

I have a career, and my career is very important to me.

- What do you do? - Men.

Rich men.

- Oh... - Now, Don't get me wrong,

I went out with you because I find you funny and attractive.

And i'm a huge sucker for power.

But...

If you want to have sex...

It will cost you $5000.

Five...

Thousand?

What if you stayed a power sucker...

Inside the car?

2,500.

Here's 3,000.

Oh! You are so sweet!

Mmm...

Oh! Does that cost extra?

You're under arrest for violation of Massachusetts general laws,

chapter 272, section 53a, sexual conduct for a fee.

- You have the right to remain silent. - Oh, come on!

If you give up that right to remain silent,

anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have th right to speak to an attorney...

I even liked you.

Change of plans, Jeffrey.

Take me to jail.

Here we go again!

I can't believe she was an undercover cop.

I should've known something was up when she called me 'handsome.'

Did you actually give her money?

It was entrapment, man. You saw the way she was dressed.

My bet?

I was targeted.

- Alan! Denny. - Shirley.

Let me introduce Katie Lloyd. She's joining us today.

She's fresh out of law school.

Very fresh!

That took all of one second.

Perhaps, we can get a cup of coffee later?

That took five seconds.

Well, well, well. Denny crane.

What are you doing in my law firm?

It 's not your firm, Denny. I' m a senior partner, remember?

Or has your brain shrunk since we last met?

At that time, I believe it was the size of a pea.

- I see you've made a friend. - We had a deal, sack.

I stay out of New York.

You steer clear of Boston.

- What's he doing here? - New sheriff in town, Denny.

Here, let me help you get settled.

What do you mean 'new sheriff'? I'm the sheriff!

You've seen my spurs.

Hello.

Hello.

We'll talk about this later.

We will talk about it now!

Okay, fine. Go to my office then.

Fine! Where is it?

- Very peppy here. - Yes.

Uh, we apologize for any temporary inconvenience,

but until the renovations are complete, you'll be sharing an office.

Jerry espenson, this is Katie Lloyd.

Nice to meet you, Jerry.

Hello! Welcome!

- Hello! -

Jerry graciously volunteered to share his office.

Well, i'll let you get settled.

I believe we have a staff meeting scheduled for 11:00.

Brilliant!

- - Oh!

I should, perhaps, get organized.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

You're pretty.

Oh, you're very kind to say so!

And you seem so nice.

Thank you, for that as well.

I 'm not being forward. Don' t be alarmed.

It's just... not all litigators are nice people.

Denise Bauer is nice, but she's on maternity.

Brad chase was nice. Now he's gone.

I was beginning to think nice people Don't last long around here.

So i'm so happy to see another one arrive.

This was just assigned to us by the court. Indigent client.

Old lawyer jumped in front of a bus. Now he needs a new one.

What is it?

It appears to be a strangulation.

I have a murder trial.

Any advice as to what I should do first?

Well, I suppose you should first meet with the client.

He didn't sound very pleasant as the police report read.

No, he didn't.

Can't say I want to meet him.

Arrested for what?

Uh, it was a conflict of interest.

I was involved with this cop who was working on a case

that I was involved with.

Oh, dear god!

Alan will take care of it.

No, he will not! I need Alan.

- I'll get you somebody else. - I Don't want anybody else!

I Don't care! I need Alan.

Now, please leave, and try not to get arrested on your way out.

You said we'd talk about Carl sack!

I lied! Out! Now!

I did tell Denny i'd help him.

Here's the deal.

I'm rich.

I soothe my guilt by making various donations,

most recently, one to Stanford

to the tune of three million dollars.

I rescinded, and they're suing me.

You're being sued by Stanford?

My donation was earmarked to develop technologies

to combat greenhouse gas emissions.

I've since learned exxonmobil also made a contribution,

100 million.

Afraid the study's been bought?

I'm not giving them my money.

- So he's in charge of litigation? - Apparently.

- What about Shirley? - Evidently, she didn't want to.

Is he gonna reshuffle everything? I hear he's a re-shuffler.

Shh! Here he comes.

- Hello. - Hello.

Hello.

What's with the shifty eyes, son?

That wasn't nice.

Sorry, I didn't mean anything.

Truth is, my favorite uncle had eyes exactly like yours.

He liked to touch small children in bad places.

Do you like that, son?

- - Counselor, hey!

He jumped in front of a bus?

Evidently.

Is there anything you can tell me about my client?

Well, you won't like him.

He 's cuffed and shackled, so you' re okay.

We'll keep the other guard in the corner.

I appreciate that.

If you need anything...

Hello, Mr. Washington.

Um, my name's Katie Lloyd.

I'll be filling in for Mr. Rice,

who suddenly, and tragically, passed away this week.

I'll be needing to be brought up to speed, somewhat, and, as such,

shall be seeking continuance.

I anticipate being successful in that endeavor.

But in the meantime, i'd like to ask you a few questions, if you Don't mind.

Lovely!

I expect there's more where that came from.

Well, I rescued a dog once, from a shelter.

He bit me six times before we went on to be fab friends.

- - You asked to see me?

Clarence, yes. Please, come in.

I feel as though we got off on...

A wrong note.

Do you have any hobbies, son?

I'm not sure what you mean.

Well, some people golf. Others go fishing.

Personally...

I like to Google myself,