Batman XXX: A Porn Parody

Gosh Bruce!

I'm stuck!

This game might be too advanced for a young boy, Bruce.

It's actually quite rudimentary, Lisa.

All you have to do is think...

...16 moves ahead.

That's all.

Well, I'll leave you two to your past time.

Tomorrow, my father is hosting that, umm...

...fundraiser for the deaf children with the blind parents.

The seamstress is coming to do my wardrobe.

Poor, poor children. Destiny is quite unkind to them to say the least.

As long as they're fine individuals.

Such as your father.

I'm sure they would never lose hope.

So go along dear.

I'll see you for dinner.

Riddle me this, Miss Carson!

What is the difference between you...

...and Bruce Wayne's...

...bank account?

There is no difference.

You both pique his...

...interest.

Bruce! Did you hear that?

Yes.

And judging by the time of day, it's probably Alfred...

...groping Aunt Harriet.

Holy Viagra!

Commissioner Gordon...

...somebody left an envelope for you.

Well thank you dear.

The Riddler!

He's kidnapped Lisa Carson, the famous heiress.

The pompous...

...worldly master of foul play.

Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?

I'm afraid I am.

The devil with pride, Chief!

There's only but one man living that can stop him.

Whoever he may be behind that mask of his...

...our only hope...

...the Cape Crusader.

Master Wayne the phone is ringing.

Thank you Alfred, but I'm...quite busy with this challenging game.

Sir, it's the...special phone.

Holy checkmate!

Yes, Commissioner.

Sorry to deserve you Batman. We have an emergency.

The Riddler's on the loose.

He's kidnapped Bruce Wayne's girlfriend.

Surely you must be jesting.

Alas, I am not.

We haven't time to lose.

To the Bat pole.

I turned the batteries to power! Turbines to speed!

Hello!

Look.

You don't have to hold me captive.

My father is very wealthy.

And my fiance' is Bruce Wayne!

They'll pay whatever ransom you desire.

So....

...the kind of ransom I want your father cannot pay.

Riddle me this, Miss Carson.

When is cheese bad for a mouse?

When...it's in a trap.

And you, Miss Carson, are the cheese.

And Batman... is... my....

...fat....rat...

Well this bed looks awfully uncomfortable.

Don't you have any better accommodations?

I would be...

...very....appreciative.

Perhaps a softer mattress can be negotiated.

You don't want a mattress that bad?

Oh, god, you're big!

Bruce isn't.

Have you met these?

I wanna slip into something a little more comfortable.

Unzip me.

That's better.

That's a dirty mouth.

A cock in my mouth.

I'm such a dirty girl.

Where else do you wanna put your cock?

Huh, Riddler? Hmm?

Riddle me this?

When is a pussy like a flower?

When?

When it has...

...too lips!

Ohh! Harder.

Oh, you're perverted!

Oh, you're perverted.

Oh, this is so wrong!

Oh, this is so wrong!

More.

I wanna sit on that.

Yes, stick that pussy out there!

Oh, my.... Be careful...Be careful with that thing!

You put all that pretty cock...you put all that pretty cock in my butt?

I know it's so small. And you fuck my pussy so good.

...for you?

Oh, my asshole knows your cock so well.

Oh, I'm so tight!

I will get your cum. Oh, yes.

Oh, my...Oh, my...

Oh, it's driving me crazy!

It's so nice...

Am I gaping pretty for you?

Cum on my cock!

Commissioner, how's Ms Carson?

That cowardly puzzler...he better not harm a hair on her head.

I take it you and Bruce Wayne are acquainted?

Yes, Mr. Wayne has graced me with his friendship and...

we've had meaningful conversations from time to time but....

...please, the stipulations on the ransom?

Well, Batman here's the thing...

...there is no ransom request.

Unprecedented!

I think I might know what it is he's after.

He wants us.

To come find you.

What a dastardly, twisted plot!

But Batman...

...that sounds like a trap!

Precisely Robin! Which is why we now have an advantage.

I say we play along, but...

...cautiously.

I think I may have some information on the whereabouts of the Riddler.

Quick Robin! We haven't a moment to lose!

Holy gluteus maximus, Batman!

This Bat climb is sure hard on the buttocks.

Careful Robin.

Both hands on the Bat Rope.

Sorry Batman.

Batman and Robin!

What are you guys doing?

Holy hedgehog Batman! Who is this?

Robin this is Ron Jeremy, without a doubt the hardest...

...working man in show business.

Women seem to find him strangely...

...irresistible.

Hey guys, why don't you take a break...

...and come have some fun inside?

Can't handle all these girls by myself.

I've got two free hands!

Very tempting but thanks.

Our pursuit of justice...allows us very few diversions.

But...by all means....

...carry on with your business, citizen.

Gosh Batman!

That Ron Jeremy sure has excellent taste in girls.

That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood old chum.

Wait for me on the roof.

I'm gonna go inside.

Two masked crimefighters...

...walking into a discotheque could...

...draw some unwanted attention.

Oh, my god, it's Batman!

A large grapefruit juice please. Yessir.

Are you looking for a friend?

I believe....

...you could say that.

I have a question.

How is a squabble like a bargain?

Very well. It's because...

...it takes two to make it.

Hmm...

Do you like beautiful music?

Shall we?

What is your name?

Molly.

Here you go Batman.

Freshly squeezed.

Thank you.

You...

...entice me.

I accept your invitation to dance.

You shake a pretty mean cape, Batman.

This...it's nothing.

It's....

...spiked!

That's right, Batman, your drink is spiked.

The drug scopolamine is going to make you lose all of your willpower.

And the funny thing is...

...you're gonna follow me back to where the Riddler has that heiress.

Lisa...

Yeah, Lisa Carson.

She's not even that pretty anyway. I don't know what Bruce Wayne sees in her.

I...must...resist.

You can't resist Batman.

Your willpower is gone. You're only going to take orders.

And in fact, I'm gonna have fun with you before you go.

Do you like that?

I'm drooling all over your cock. Do you like that?

Stick that tongue out there.

I bet he's begging for this pussy.

You want it so bad. Look at you.