Package Deal

: Ahh!

Not the face! Not the face!

Are you kidding me?

I give you permission to die.

Oh!

Eat my shorts!

Timeout! Untied shoelace!

Unsafe playing conditions.

Hey! You can't shoot a guy on a timeout.

Oh, really? Let me look that up

in the Geneva underwear convention.

Danny, you're the lawyer! Tell him.

Sheldon, I'm gonna have to rule with Ryan on this one.

That is low! You dog!

Is this a bad time?

Oops!

We're doing laundry.

Okay.

We're playing "under-wars."

We've been playing this since we were kids.

It makes laundry day way fun!

Cool. Can I play?

Uh...

[Pretends to load and fire rapidly]

Uh, that's not even a machine gun.

We had these custom-built.

I'd like to introduce you to "the sheldonator 5.0."

What did I do?

Nothing. That's why it's funny.

That was a quick six hours.

When are we gonna do the actual laundry?

You mean these are dirty?

Why would we use clean ones?

This is war.

Ew!

I'm gonna go wash my hands.

Can I borrow your underwear?

I'm out of ammo.

What if I'm not wearing any?

Wow. She's no fun.

All right, guys. Girlfriend's here. Game over.

I thought I taught you better.

Actually, you did.

Say hello to my little tighty-whities.

: No-o-o-o-o-o-o!

You cheated.

That can't count.

All's fair in love and under-war.

Well?

It tastes like...

Tea.

But would you describe it as earthy, or smoky,

perhaps playful?

Yeah, I would describe it as...

Tea.

Try sucking in air when you sip.

Watch.

Well?

Tea.

: Avery Jones is coming to my tea-tasting!

- -That's great.

Who is he?

Only the most influential tea blogger in the universe.

Have you been living under a rock?

Well, I try to stay informed.

He heard that I was serving the rarest tea in the world,

"golden monk."

But I'm having trouble smuggling it out of Tibet.

You don't think bribery is wrong, do you?

Not for a cause this important.

So what now, more tea tasting?

Unfortunately, you're hopeless.

But a good sport.

A reward of some kind is in order.

Whoo!

Forget it. Just rip it.

Wait! It's a $30 shirt.

Really?

Okay, fine, just rip it.

Whoo!

Yeah, I don't know if it was the slurping or the spitting,

but I am so turned on right now!

And yet you're still talking.

"All's fair in love and under-wars."

Oh, man!

Sheldon and Ryan are getting me back.

And these are the men that raised you?

You okay?

Yeah, just some water in my ears.

It's my fault.

I insisted on condoms,

when, clearly, I should've brought a sponge.

You know, I've never done it in a pool before.

Seriously?

I mean-- neither have I.

I just had a wild idea.

Yeah, I'm having a bunch of those.

I know exactly how to get them back.

: Can you speak up?

My ears are plugged.

What do you mean, you lost it?

That tea has to be here by Thursday!

Hello? Hello!

Argh!

What happened?

I don't know!

Either he shipped it to Australia,

or he's coming down with malaria.

Hey, Danny. You're looking refreshed.

Nothing like a midnight swim, right?

Just so you know,

I built that pool myself and supplied the rubber ducky.

You still have it, right?

I need that back.

You forgot to check for innocent bystanders.

Did I? Because I'm pretty sure I put

an extra flotation device under the duvet.

What? Who's going to a play?

She can't hear very well.

She's got water in her ears.

You're ruining my brother's life!

Oh, sorry, I didn't hear that, my ears just popped. What?

Oh. You're ruining my brother's life.

Sit down.

It's Margarita night.

In these conveniently-placed chairs?

What are we, stupid?

We'll take yours.

Can they be serious?

Just humor them.

Here. Have some chips.

Uh, no, thanks.

We brought our own.

Paranoid much?

No, actually, I always bring my own chips.

There's so many additives.

Yeah, and your boyfriend here isn't exactly trustworthy.

I still keep my shoes in a safe.

Why?

Inside joke.

Yeah. You wouldn't get it.

Try me.

A couple of years ago, I stole Ryan's shoes

and kept switching them for larger sizes.

He thought his feet were shrinking.

Okay, that was not funny.

Do you know how many diseases pop up

when you Google "shrinking feet"?

You know, I've pulled a few pranks in my day.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah.

When I sold girl scout cookies,

I would sometimes remove a cookie first!

And then what?

I'd eat the cookie.

Wow. You got them!

Right, guys?

Oh, man, huh? That was scorching.

Whoa! Huh. This is odd.

I just got a text from Ryan's toothbrush.

It looks like he took

a little vacation last night.

Look, look, here he is, posing on a bus bench.

Oh, yeah. Look, there he is,

drinking water out of a doggie bowl

at the dog park.

How did he get there?

Oh, my God! Let me see that.

What? He's at the train station!

But how? That's impossible!

I brushed my teeth... This morning! Oh, my God!

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh-ahh-ahh. Ahh! Ahh!

Wait. So you and Sheldon pranked Ryan?

That doesn't even make sense.

Well, maybe we should all stop laughing, then.

Ohh. You know, maybe I shouldn't laugh,

but this is just so easy, right?

[Covers laughter with coughing]

4:00! Hot blonde is checking you out.

"Hell" followed very quickly by "oh"...

...is "hello."

If you'll excuse me.

Don't forget to smile.

So Ryan and Sheldon prank you,

but Sheldon was in on pranking Ryan.

Were you in on the Margarita thing?