A Christmas Carol

Yes.

Quite dead.

As a doornail.

Certificate of death, sir.

Stop!

Back away, praddock.

Tuppence is tuppence.

- Beg your pardon! - I say!

Delinquents.

Newspaper!

We're hungry, sir!

- Please, sir, we're very hungry. - Any morsel. We're hungry, sir.

- Any scraps. - We're starving,

Please, sir. We're very hungry.

Merry Christmas, from his lordship, the mayor!

- Please, sir. - Oh, look. There it is.

Oi! Come back here with that! That's our meat!

Give it back! That's ours! Come back here!

- There you are, sir. - Thanks.

Fresh hot chestnuts.

- How would you like this one? - That's perfect.

That's a nice fresh eel.

Here is the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Get lost.

And under which one is the pea? Boom, boom, boom, boom...

Boom! Get out of here.

There we are. Watch this now.

Merry Christmas, Uncle!

- God save you. - Bah! Humbug!

Christmas a humbug? Uncle! You don't mean that.

Merry Christmas.

What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.

What right have you to be so dismal? You're rich enough.

- Humbug! - Don't be cross, Uncle.

What else can I be when I live in such a world of fools as this?

Merry Christmas.

What's Christmastime to you but a time for paying bills without money.

A time for finding yourself a year older and not a penny richer.

If I could work my will,

every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips

should be boiled in his own pudding

and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!

- Uncle! - Nephew!

Keep Christmas in your own way and let me keep it in mine.

Keep it? But you don't keep it!

Let me leave it alone then.

Much good it has ever done you.

There are many things from which I have derived good and have not profited.

Christmas being among them.

But I have always thought of Christmas as a kind, charitable time.

The only time when men open their shut-up hearts

and think of all people as fellow travelers to the grave

and not some other race of creatures bound on other journeys.

And therefore, Uncle,

although it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket,

I believe it has done me good, and I say, God bless it!

Let me hear another sound out of you, Cratchit,

and you'll keep Christmas by losing your situation!

You're quite a powerful speaker, sir. A wonder you don't go into Parliament.

Don't be cross, Uncle. Come, dine with us tomorrow.

I'll see you in hell first.

But why? Why so cold-hearted, Uncle? Why?

Why did you get married?

Because I fell in love.

Because...

...you fell...

...in love?

Good afternoon.

I want nothing from you. I ask nothing of you.

- Why can't we be friends? - Good afternoon.

I'm sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute.

But I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and therefore,

- merry Christmas, Uncle! - Good afternoon!

- And a happy New Year! - Good afternoon!

And a very merry Christmas to you too, Mr. Cratchit.

Merry Christmas to you, sir.

There's another one.

A clerk making 15 shillings a week...

...and with a wife and family, talking about a merry Christmas.

I'll retire to Bedlam.

Good afternoon. Scrooge and Marley's, I believe?

Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?

Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years.

He died seven years ago... this very night.

Well, we have no doubt that his generosity

is well represented by his surviving partner.

At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge,

it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision

for the poor and the destitute.

Many thousands are in want of common comfort, sir.

Are there no prisons?

Prisons? Yes, yes, plenty of prisons.

And the union workhouses, are they still in operation?

They are. I wish I could say they were not.

The treadmill in full vigor?

- Very busy, sir. - Good!

I was afraid something had occurred to stop them in their useful course.

Yes. At this festive season, a few of us are endeavoring to raise a fund

to buy the poor some meat and drink and means of warmth.

What shall we put you down for?

- Nothing. - Oh, you wish to remain anonymous?

I wish to be left alone! I don't make merry myself at Christmas,

and I can't afford to make idle people merry.

I support the establishments I have mentioned.

And those who are badly off must go there.

Many cannot go there.

And, well, frankly, many would rather die.

Then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.

Good afternoon, gentlemen!

Good afternoon.

You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose?

Well, if quite convenient, sir.

It's not convenient, and it's not fair.

If I were to dock you a half a crown for it, you'd think yourself ill-used.

And yet you don't think me ill-used when I pay a day's wages for no work.

Well, it's only once a year, sir.

Poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December.

But I suppose you must have the whole day.

Be here all the earlier the next morning.

Sir.

In honor of Christmas Eve!

Bugger it!

Where are you? Here!

Why does everything seem to happen to me?

Get away! Get away!

Balderdash!

I have given myself the willies.

That's what it is.

It's all still a hum...

How now!

What do you want with me?

Oh, much.

- Who are you? - Ask me who I was.

Who were you then?

In life, I was your partner,

Jacob Marley.

Can you sit down?

- I can. - Do it then.

You do not believe in me.

I don't.

Why do you doubt your senses?

Because the littlest thing can affect them.

A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat.

You may be an undigested bit of beef. A blot of mustard.

A crumb of cheese. A fragment of underdone potato.

There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are.

Mercy! Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me?

Man of worldly mind, do you believe in me or not?

I do! I must!

Woe! Woe is me!

You are fettered in chains. Why?

I wear the chain I forged in life.

I made it link by link and yard by yard.

Do you recognize its pattern?

Can you imagine the weight and length of the chain you bear?

It was as heavy and long as this seven Christmas Eves ago.

Oh, yours is a ponderous chain.

Jacob, tell me no more.

Speak comfort to me, Jacob.

I have none to give.

I cannot stay.

I cannot linger anywhere.

Mark me, in life, my spirit never walked beyond our countinghouse,

never roved beyond the narrow limits of our money-changing hole.

Now endless journeys lie before me.

Seven years dead and traveling all the time?

The whole time. No rest, no peace.

You must've covered a lot of ground in seven years.

I was blind! Blind! I could not see my own life!

Squandered and misused. Oh, woe... Oh, woe is me!

But you were always a good man of business!

Business!

Mankind... was my business.

The common welfare was my business.

Charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence were all my...

Hear me! My time is nearly gone.

I will. But don't be hard upon me, Jacob. Pray.

I am here to warn you

that you have yet a chance and a hope of escaping my fate.

A chance of my procuring, Ebenezer.

You were always a good friend to me, Jacob. Thank 'ee.

You will be haunted by three spirits.

That's the chance and hope?

- I'd rather not. - Expect the first

tomorrow when the bell tolls one.

Couldn't I take them all at once, and have it over with, Jacob?

Expect the second the next night at the same hour.

And the third upon the next night,

when the last stroke of 12

has ceased to vibrate.

Look to see me no more.

I'm sorry.

I wish I could help you.

Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me?

I am.

Is it possible that you might put your cap on?

Would you so soon put out, with your worldly hands,

the light I give?

No, no! No, no! I'm so sorry.

I meant nothing by it. I meant no offense.

I just thought I...