Marvel's Ultimate Spider-Man

1x06 - Why I Hate Gym

Leap, forward leap.

Flip!

C'est bon. C'est magnifique.

My employer will pay handsomely for the delivery

of Spider-Man, Taskmaster.

A guy with four arms

should be able to grab one bug by himself, Octavius.

Yeah. I don't get out much.

His moves I can master.

My powers cover that. But the tech makes it trickier.

No wonder your employer is eager.

Your suckatude knows no bounds, Batroc.

Oh! Gaw!

Oh!

Batroc the Leaper.

So off the radar, SHIELD doesn't have a real file on him.

What's to know? He's French. He leaps.

And zee bug goes splat.

Spider-Man. Nick Fury says get back to SHIELD HQ for training.

Just because he's the director of SHIELD

doesn't mean he can boss me around.

Besides, Fury would be the first to say

going solo on B-listers like Batroc is good training.

Don't be so official, White Tiger.

When life gives you Batroc, make French toast.

- Uh! - A boot in the face.

Hee-yah! Oof!

To expose all this new threat. We won't rest until...

Way to go it alone. Get lazy and even the lame ones can splatter you.

That's what training's for.

That and mastering new tools like electric claws.

Leap! The leap is life!

Flip and... leap.

Leap.

Ya!

Ah!

C'est pue.

Is Spider-Man a student at Midtown High?

- Recently it was attacked... - Where does he get this stuff?

Taskmaster, I have to pay for that you know.

High school, huh?

Can't wait. I'm great with kids.

And so, all city campuses run on high alert.

Report any suspicious persons immediately.

Huh, I see one now.

Pretty good show with Batroc ze Leaper last night, huh, Ava?

Lapse training, late for school.

Good show, Parker.

Hey, Pete. They're saying Spidey goes to the school.

Girls love heroes, so help me spread the rumor it's me, huh?

It probably is you, Harry. Who else could afford all those webs

he squirts all over everything?

Spider-Man doesn't squirt, MJ.

He shoots. And I don't think it's a good idea

for anyone to pose as him right now. Oh!

Speaking of squirts...

Thompson, Parker.

Pay attention. Your gym teacher, Mr. Molskin will be out

due to a freak accident after last night's game.

Ah!

Well, coach. Looks like you

finally broke that state field goal record.

Mr. Jager will be your substitute until further notice.

I look forward to the challenge of unlocking your hidden...

...talents.

Awkward phrasing or veiled threat? You be the judge.

Dodge ball!

Wait!

Wait!

I could in fact dodge this ball.

But I choose not to in order to protect my identity

and thus all the kids in this school.

Even king jerk, Flash Thompson, who has it all

but still thinks he has to get one up on me.

D'oh!

D'oh!

You lose, again.

Jeez, Parker.

A little overkill just to maintain your cover. Is that your face print?

I'm looking for finalists for the citywide athletic achievement contest.

I want to see everything you've got in this obstacle course.

Push yourselves to the limit. Don't give me less than 110 percent.

You can learn something from him.

- How to creep people out? - Mr. Thompson.

Go!

I'll show you how it's done.

You could be...

...promising.

Very promising.

First to finish. Good, huh, coach?

- Am I in? - Okay, next one up.

Go! Ayala, next. Rand, next.

Osborn, next. Cage.

Can we get some man-sized tires up in here people? Seriously.

Mr. Parker. You're last.

How sweet would it be to show them all what I can really do?

Move on to the citywide championships.

Ha!

Ya!

Ya!

You can begin anytime today.

The course doesn't run itself, Mr. Parker.

Right build, right size.

Perfect candidate.

Uh...

Ah!

Oi.

I'll see three of you here tomorrow for the final cut.

Rand, Osborn, Thompson.

The rest of you, anemic.

- Tomorrow? Saturday? - Did I stutter?

Danny, Flash and Harry? Harry?

I aced that thing. Why am I not a finalist? Because I'm a girl?

Are you the only person on Earth who sees school

on a Saturday as a good thing?

Fury is so right. You're soft.

You know, I say we show Mr. Jager who can do what.

You and me are going to come back tomorrow anyway,

list or no list and run that course again.

If I'm late, you can start without me.

Finish too. I'm beat. I have tomorrow set aside for sleep.

Doesn't that Jager creep you out?

I work with a guy whose feet stick to walls.

No one creeps me out.

Coulson.

Good to see you again.

Even better to see that SHIELD added security enhancements to the school.

That makes my life much easier.

Spider-Man's not so much.

****2****

I was 100 percent wrong.

He's not a menace. J. Jonah Jameson goes on record

proclaiming that today should be Spider-Man day in Manhattan.

In fact, every day should be Spider-Man day.

You gonna answer that phone?

Hello?

Peter, have you heard from Harry?

It's noon, and no one's come out from the gym yet.

I'm not late for training.

Something's wrong. I can't get into the school.

The fence is electrified.

It's Saturday. Why are you...

Did you say the school's electrified?

Get here, now.

Quick enough for you?

- Oh! - That's right, I'm that good.

Something's up.

- We should call Coulson. - No.

We should go solo on this. Eh, you know, together.

We can handle this. SHIELD added security

to protect the school from... well, for us.

Probably just a misfire.

I mean, who electrifies a fence and leaves the door unlocked?

Dark, creepy, dank.

I told you not to come to school on a Saturday.

Hello? Is anyone there? Help! Help!

Can anyone hear me? Oh, I sure could use a hand.

I've got myself in quite a pickle here.

Oh, if Irving Forbush could see me now.

Hang tight, janitor guy.

We'll get you out.

Mucho malfunction security system.

Oh, my.

- Don't move. - Whoa!

Aaah!

Wow, there's a lot of wax build-up down here.

Who built the security? Dr. Doom?

I'm calling Coulson.

No phone needed.

- He's here. - On a Saturday?

Agent Coulson?

Don't come into my office.

I can see why he wanted to be alone.

- Nice tighty whities. - The whole school is rigged.

Taskmaster corrupted the SHIELD security tech.

- Who? - Assassin.

Hates me. Hates Fury.

We have to contact Fury.

You can't. He jammed the frequencies.

You shouldn't have come to school today.

Told you.

Work on getting yourselves out of here, and then find Fury.

Don't waste time on me, and definitely don't go after Taskmaster alone.

He's a combat chameleon. Do you understand?

Wait. He was bitten by a radioactive chameleon?

That's Harry.

I remember that scream from slasher movie night at camp. Come on!

If Taskmaster sees you do it, he can do it.

Fight him once, he's as good as you, you hear me?

What did Coulson just say?

I don't know. I couldn't hear him.

Spidey-sense. Get down!

If Flash and Harry are here at least they've got Danny to protect them.

He's right behind us.

Keep running.