Austenland

What separates the casual Jane Austen fan from the aficionado?

Is it her admiration for the style and manners of the Regency era?

The number of times she has read Austen's novels?

Or her consuming love for Mr. Darcy?

Nice cup.

Thanks.

Oh.

Sexy.

Okay.

I'll see you for lunch.

Yeah, okay.

Miss Bennet...

This is the best part.

Unbelievable.

Hey, Jane. Ex-boyfriend alert.

Hey, Horseface.

Jimmy, what are you doing here?

Well, I heard you broke up with Greg.

So that means you're free to go bowling tonight.

Oops! Jimmy! You know what?

If "no" was unclear last time...

I don't wanna see you again.

I picked you on purpose, Jane Hayes. Thirty plus, clock ticking.

I'm as good as it gets, baby.

A true aficionado of Austen does so much more

than merely read her novels and admire her world from afar.

Excuse me.

She finds her way here

to the world's only immersive Austen experience.

Is that a Chihuahua?

It's a lamb. Shut up. Just trying to hear it.

This looks really cheap.

I've toured the grounds and it's not cheap.

This is high class. This is big time.

Jane, are you really gonna blow your entire

life savings on an "Austen experience"?

Now, hold on just a second,

here at Sensuous Travel,

we are not just another run-of-the-mill vacation place.

This is what we call an "LC." A Life-Changer.

You get to play the heroine of your very own Jane Austen story.

Would you like to see some of the staff?

Yeah. No.

Now this is Barnaby. He's a vegan.

He enjoys nightly dips in the pond,

and he has a pony named Sparkles Pancake.

That is horrendous.

I also heard that people in those days didn't wear underwear.

That's a lie.

It's not a lie.

Look, every stay at Austenland ends with a real live ball,

as in ballroom, as in happily ever after.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Totally.

Jane. So you go on some fancy vacation, then what do you come home to?

Nothing except for an empty bank account.

Why don't you save up for a real life-changer?

Like what? Well, like...

That's fine. Maybe come back another time without your friend.

We'll get you squared away.

I think I can figure out some kind of layaway program for you.

Thank you so much.

You guys take care. Thanks for being you. Appreciate you.

Listen, this is my one chance to really live in Austen's world. Okay?

I'm her biggest fan.

Come on.

No. No.

You used to be a fan.

You are an addict.

You don't have to go in there because I'm packing. It's a mess in there.

You don't wanna go in there.

Oh, Janey. It's gotten so much worse.

I love you.

It's a collector's item and that's why I have it.

I have 10,000 a year.

I've changed my mind.

I totally support you going to this place,

because I'm sure that the fantasy

will not be as fulfilling as you imagine.

I don't think you know where I'm going.

We could make a wager on it. Fine.

If I win, you de-Austen your room.

Okay. Fine.

And if you really must go, I made you a little farewell gift.

You did?

Aw.

Wow.

Which historical era is this supposed to be from?

Hey, I spent three days working on it.

Come here, let's hug it out.

Thank you. Okay.

When you get back, just clear this crap out because it's weird.

It's a hobby. It's really weird.

Oh!

Do you need a hand?

Yay, an American.

I can't understand what the natives say.

I think this is where we're supposed to wait, right?

You're going to the Darcy place, too?

Yes.

I memorized the first three chapters

of Pride and Prejudice when I was 13.

What's that?

Oh. Um...

So why are you going to this place?

Because I'm gonna look great in those wench gowns.

Ooh. Gosh, I hope they give me a cape, too.

Were we not supposed to come in costume?

Thank goodness you're coming and not her.

I'm Jane, by the way.

Oh, goody. Introductions. Look.

Hi.

I'm Miss Elizabeth Charming.

It's a pretty name, isn't it? I requested it.

Yes, it's very beautiful. I can't wait to pick a name.

How about Miss Pepperpot?

Or Miss Wiggly Wiggins?

Those are nice.

I knew this place would be magical.

They even got us a car from the 1800s.

Oh, thank you so much. I'm Miss Charming.

This way.

Bloody Americans!

Mind the gap.

Sorry. I was told I was supposed to wear a costume.

So was I.

God save the Queen!

Hey, do you think this is the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car?

It's smaller than I expected.

Welcome to the Regency era.

This is just a stop before we go to the big house.

I am Mrs. Wattlesbrook. Okay.

Miss Charming, I hope your travel was endurable.

Oh, yes!

Jane Hayes. Yes.

And I've been thinking about my pseudonym,

and I was thinking Miss Joyful, maybe?

Oh, yes. You've already been assigned a name.

Miss Erstwhile.

Miss Erstwhile?

Martin. Take their luggage in.

And get the carriage ready to take us up to the manor.

Martin. Ma'am.

Good luck. Thanks.

Complete immersion in the Regency era

is the only way to truly appreciate Austen's England.

Wouldn't you say so, Miss Charming?

Righto!

Just to avoid any confusion,

I'd like you to know that we do offer several distinct experiences.

You have paid for the Basic Copper package,

while the other ladies in the party

are part of the Platinum Elite package.

Oh. Okay.

I'm sure you'll understand there will be some exclusions to your trip.

I mean, I'm just so excited to be here,

and I've dreamed about this for so long.

All of my guests will experience

romance with one of our actors.

But I must emphasize there is to be no touching

other than the necessary social graces. Not a chance.

I also expect all my guests to maintain

appropriate manners and conversation

and to eschew all things modern.

Any flagrant disobedience will result

in the early termination of your stay.

You don't have to worry about me.

I know Austen's books intimately.

A big fire for a hot summer's day.

We need to push up the sisters. There we go.

That's as far as I can go.

It's looking good.

So we have this absolutely delightful chiffon piece.

And I don't know how you feel about lavender.

I call it lilac.

"Lilac."

This I do think is very magnificent and elegant.

Salmon!

Salmon. Absolutely.

Kinda washes you out.

Look how skinny I look with my hand behind my back.

Let's go meet the men.

Okay.

I'm so sorry, my dear, but I'm afraid

this carriage only takes two passengers.

Okay.

Sorry.

Hey, do you think we'll be robbed by some highwaymen?

Martin, hurry up with those bags.

My God, look at those.

Hallelujah. Oh!

Do you think those are their real faces?

And for you, Miss Charming, we have our finest Platinum level room.

Oh!

How old-fashioned.

Miss Erstwhile. If you follow me.

Hey! It's bloody brilliant!

Where are you? We can't dilly-dally.

And you, of course, have one of our loveliest Copper level rooms.

We meet for dinner at 8:00.