Coffee Cat Mama (Mao Si Ma Ma / 貓屎媽媽)

Hey, had a fall?

Have you passed out in there?

Lady, you were in the shower for 2 hours.

I used an entire bottle of antiseptic

to get rid of the smell of ammonia!

That's odd, I haven't had much internal heat lately.

Lady, you must be...

Stop calling me "lady"!

I'm just an ordinary girl.

No girls in this world can stand the smell of ammonia!

You're in med school, how can you be scared of ammonia?

I'm soared of blood too, especially yours!

Don't try my patience!

I was just trying to help you.

I've checked online,

the leeches will come off if you pat them gently.

Yet you chose the grossest solution

and made me close my eyes because it's bloody!

That's conning me!

Hey, I wasn't conning you.

The leeches were sucking your blood, right?

My ammonia...

Shut up!

You're simply cheap. Everything is gross with you!

It's OK to toss the pants...

What?

But the coins purse is innocent.

There's money inside.

Don't be a spendthrift!

The coins purse was in the pants pocket.

It was soaked with ammonia.

Do you want it?

No? I'll take it!

Why am I so unlucky today?

Not really, the tulips were pretty.

You fell but didn't hurt yourself.

You should count your blessings.

You claim to take the competition seriously

because you want to take Landlord on a trip.

But now you act like nothing has happened.

So you're just saying it casually.

Have you found the latte art king?

Have you picked a pattern?

Oh no! It's So Mei!

What should I tell her?

Maybe I'm not meant to be in the coffee business.

Maybe I should go back to med school.

I'm hungry! Let's get something to eat.

Let go of me! You didn't wash your hands!

Get your bag!

This one. Thanks!

You .. . I'm sorry!

It's OK. Take another one. It's free.

I couldn't...

It's OK, take it!

Thank you!

I dropped mine too!

What's wrong with you? Look at the mess!

You wasted the foodmClean it up!

Right! Can I have another piece?

Sure, just pay me.

Fine! $10? $10

You didn't wash the money!

The money could have been to a hospital, a fish market or a public toilet.

Do you always wash your money?

Money is always dirty!

Did you drag me out here to tell me something?

That uncle needs help!

Where are you going? Let me help you!

Thanks you, Miss! You're welcome!

I'll get that for you! Thanks.

That's so kind of you, Miss! Thank you!

You're welcome!

You're so nice!

It was nothing! Bye! Bye!

That granny needs help too!

Let me...

Where are you going, QFBWIY?

You nasty thief! Hands off my things!

I'm not...

I'm not a thief!

Don't try to rob me!

I can't believe she hit me!

She didn't mean it. Don't be upset.

I don't get upset about petty things like you do.

Quit your act! Did you want to say something?

The punks down there are staring at you!

So? People always look at pretty girls.

But they're gawking at your panties!

Sorry!

It's alright!

Don't apologise. Just behave yourself.

You'd do the same!

Guys can be more open-minded.

Pervert!

Are you sexually harassing us?

We must beat you up!

What? I didn't mean it!

Come back!

Hold it there...

What's so funny?

I'm not laughing at you.

I just feel sorry for you!

It's nothing!

Ever found yourself not having enough money after you got on the bus?

I was $1 short once in secondary school.

But the driver said it was OK.

I was 10 cents short once in primary school.

The driver stopped the bus and kicked me off.

You think I use Landlord as an excuse

and I'm not serious about the competition.

Yet in fact, I'm dead serious about it.

I'm different from you. If you quit coffee, you can go back to med school.

You're worried, vexed and agitated

for you're anxious to do the right thing.

But I have no choice.

I just finished Form 3. I have no money and no background.

There's only one thing I could do.

No matter how many times I bash my head,

it's the only thing for me to do.

That's why I'm not worried, vexed or agitated. Get it?

I'm used to disappointments.

My Dad left me with my aunt as soon as I was born.

The first year, he told Aunt he'd visit me on my birthday.

But he didn't show up the first year and the next.

You think I'd still believe him?

You insisted on having Landlord

and raising him yourself,

because you didn't want to be like your parents?

I don't really blame them.

They were 18 when I was born,

they were practically kids themselves.

Parent could be so irresponsible?

I'm not particularly unlucky,

but you're definitely very lucky.

You grew up on boutique coffee.

I've just had Hong Kong style coffee.

I know you look down on me,

because we're worlds apart.

I don't expect you to understand,

just like I won't tell Paris Hilton,

why people don't stay in hotels

if they don't have a home.

I'm not quite that ignorant!

You could choose not to keep dirty money.

You dropped a dumpling, someone would give you another for free.

But the granny mistook me for a thief.

I exposed myself and got beaten for it.

If you're not lucky, I don't know who is.

When you think you're down on your luck,

think about what happened to me.

Then you'll realise how lucky you have been

and you won't be upset anymore.

Why do you always put so much sugar and cream in your coffee?

Because my life is bitter enough.

I don't want to drink anything bitter.

And I criticised you for wasting my expensive coffee.

You entered the latte art competition

because you and Landlord have never been on a plane.

Are you serious about that?

What's so odd about it?

I was alone before Landlord was born.

Who cares where I'd go?

After Landlord was born,

I've had no money, time or leisure.

I don't want people to laugh at him,

or else I wouldn't oare about taking a bloody trip.

Hey! What?

Interested in watching Chinese white dolphins?

Chinese white dolphins?

I've seen people using dolphins for latte art on the internet.

I'm not thinking about the competition.

Don't be such a spoil sport.

Just tens for a trip. It's not costly at all.

If you can't take a plane, ride a boat.

My treat, for consoling me.

Feel like being generous? Very well!

I don't see any dolphins.

I knew it!

I've been buying the lottery for 30 years and haven't even won a consolation prize.

Uncle?

Are you alright, Uncle?

Don't back off! Go check on him!

I think he has choked on something.

He has a pulse but he's not breathing.

I'll call the Police!

Oh no! Battery dead! You call...

Can you...navigate this thing?

What do you think?

You're a med student. Help him!

I haven't tried to save anyone before.

I'm afraid if I press too hard,

I might break his ribs and get his lungs punctured.

He might die even sooner.

You have no choice.

If you try, you may save him.

If you don't, he'll die. Get it?

Why should I believe you?

Because I choose to believe in you!

Harder...