Falling for the Life of Alex Whelan

By the time Alex Whelan had become part of my life,

he'd already died.

I've gotta go.

I'll call you back.

Sorry I'm late. You're grand, it's just started.

# (muffled music)

I met Alex at a screening hosted by the Foreign Movies

No Subtitles Group or FMNS for short.

The date was the 2nd of March.

The film was An Autumn Afternoon.

We didn't talk for the whole movie.

# (music continues)

After the film had finished,

it was only then that he said to me...

So, what do you think all that was about?

Um...

Well, I think the old guy knew he was about to die,

so he arranged the marriage for his daughter.

I think he actually liked the hostess lady,

and his daughter decided to get married

so her dad could find his own happiness.

Isn't that a bit too much of a twist?

Ah well, it wasn't straightforward anyway.

But isn't that what Japanese culture is all about?

Forbearance and elusive love?

I don't know much about Japanese culture, I'm afraid.

Fair enough.

I'm Alex, by the way.

I'm Xiaohan.

Xiaohan?

Am I saying that correctly?

It's Xiaohan,

pronounced Siao-Han.

Xiaohan? Yeah.

That's really beautiful. Thank you.

What does it mean?

So I told him what it meant and he said it was a great name.

And I nodded humbly to accept yet another

round of applause for my culture

and my smart-arsed ancestors.

We talked for ages about the weather, wet as always.

Where he was from, Kilkenny.

Where I was from...

Tipperary? You don't say. I have a cousin living in Nenagh.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

I'd eh, better head there.

Meeting a few of the lads for pints in Vicar Street.

All right. Yeah.

You're welcome to join actually, if you like.

Um, thanks, but I better head.

It's getting late.

Ah, it's only 10 o'clock.

Long way to Tipperary.

It is, it's a long way to Tipperary, yeah.

Em...

Well, can I give you my Instagram?

Sure, yeah.

Alex underscore Whelan 96.

Okay. You'll remember that?

I will remember that.

Okay.

Em, it was really nice meeting you, Alex.

Yeah, lovely meeting you too. See you.

See you.

That was the only time Alex and I spoke.

On my way home, I sent him a follow request.

It was around 10:30 p.m.

Hey. Hey!

My stepsister, Laura.

So, how was it?

Fine.

Nothin' much to tell, really.

I'm going to go work on the thesis. Okay.

See you. See ya.

# (I Got My Whole by Tebi Rex plays)

# I got...

# Some things on my mind

# Some things on my line

# Shawty swear that I'm lying like I got

# I'm just tryna take me down

# I was stuck, can ya please take me now

# You're the one with the crown, I'm the one in the crowd

# On my one's, you ain't gotta crowd me (message alert)

(I Don't Know Anybody Like You by D. Cullen plays)

# How about now? Did you ever try to find

# another life for me

# I don't know anybody like you in this world,

# we've gotta keep it true, I've gotta be with you

# I don't know anybody like you in this world,

# we've gotta keep it true, I've gotta be with you

# And you know that I'm terrified of my mind

# You know that I'm terrified of my mind... #

And like that, I found out Alex Whelan had died during the night.

He can't be dead.

I met him yesterday and he seemed absolutely fine.

Doesn't make any sense.

I dunno.

Unless... Could it be some kind of prank?

Could she be right?

Could it really have all been a prank?

# (Rap music plays)

Who's that?

The girl I met earlier. Oh yeah? Yeah.

Go on, show us. She's Chinese.

Well, she grew up in Tipperary, but ethnically,

she's Chinese and her name's Chinese, so.

If it looks like a duck and swims like a duck.

So, let's see then?

Just don't like anything, man.

I won't fucking like anything.

Oh shit, she's typing.

Well, no, she stopped.

She stopped.

You up? (laughing) Fuck's sake.

Don't be getting any ideas.

She's on your case now, bai.

OK, I know what to do. Give us your phone.

Why?

Just give us your fucking phone, man.

What are you doing, man?

What are you doing?

See for yourself, man. That is gas.

The lads are gonna love this.

I'm putting this in the chat.

You're high as fuck, d'you know that?

Well, she'll leave you alone now, man.

For fuck's sake.

My mom's going to see that, like.

Oh, I dunno, gal.

It looks real enough to me.

I'm going to make cup of tea. Do you want one? Sure.

# (atmospheric music)

Alex has 1257 Instagram followers.

In the last month, he was tagged in three photos.

All of them while out with friends

in Doyles, the Long Shore and Bison, respectively.

According to Goodreads, Alex has read 303 books.

He's logged 575 films on Letterbox.

In 2018, he played guitar in a band called Imaginary Bananas.

They uploaded a grand total of three songs on SoundCloud.

Their most popular song, titled The Telly Is On,

was streamed 2073 times.

And you know what?

It's not half bad.

After a bit of digging, I found one of his Bandmates, Michael Hannigan.

He and Alex still hang out on occasion.

This, for example, was only taken two weeks ago.

# (muffled club music)

Hey, Michael.

I'm a friend of Alex's.

We met in Doyles' a couple of weeks ago.

How do I know this?

Because Michael and Alex were both tagged in a photo there

two weeks ago.

And Michael was absolutely plastered.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, what was your name again?

Claire, Claire Collins.

It was my mother who insisted I start calling myself Claire.

She raised me all by herself.

In 2005, she met a divorcee

on the Internet, and they supposedly fell in love.

His name was Eugene Collins.

One summer, he came to visit us in China.

Right before he headed back to Ireland,

he proposed to my mother at the airport.

After they got married, my mother sold our apartment

and we moved to a small town called Cahir in County Tipperary.

From then on, my mother renamed herself

Amy and started calling me...

Claire, Claire Collins.

That sounds right, don't you think?

And the thing was, she was right.

So I started to introduce myself as

Claire Collins.

# (music thumps) Claire Collins.

Claire Collins.

# (movie music) Xiaohan.

That's really beautiful.

So, are you, you gonna go?

# (club music)

To the funeral?

It's on Sunday.

Oh, I don't know yet.