Superstore

So you may have heard about the new ownership,

but we're still Cloud 9,

Zephra is just our new parent company.

And just like any time a new parent comes into the picture,

I'm sure it's gonna be smooth sailing.

I think it's cool that Zephra has a lady CEO.

Or should I say "She-E-O"?

You don't need to. No.

The press release says that the new company's based in California.

Are we all gonna have to start caring about the environment?

No, the buy-out won't interfere with you destroying the planet.

Well, I heard they're turning our stores

into fulfillment centers.

Wait, we're gonna get laid off?

Okay, nobody... no, guys! Guys.

Calm down, it's... it's all gonna be fine.

Look, Corporate sent over a memo that says,

"Cloud 9 is excited about this exciting new chapter

full of exciting possibilities."

An alarming number of times to say "exciting."

Look, there's no point in speculating about the future.

So let's just calm down,

and let me get through shift assignments.

I heard there might be a payout.

- Really? - Heather, you're in Housewares.

- Well, I wonder how much. - I heard four grand.

- How? - Justine just said it.

Rumors travel fast, Garrett.

Elias, if you could please just float between...

I can't learn Chinese.

Yeah, they're definitely moving us to China.

That's what I heard.

Grocery and Sporting Goods,

because we're a little bit short in...

Okay, you know what?

I'm just gonna put these up in the break room.

They're moving the whole store to China?

Mm-hmm.

So Saint Louis has this program

where you can request a free tree,

you know to fight climate change, and I figure we owe one.

Jonah, I cut down one tree for Christmas purposes.

Well, I kind of already ordered ten for the parking lot.

We'll have to lose some spaces,

but it'll encourage public transportation.

Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm,

but this is just not the week

for me to tear up the parking lot...

- You don't have to. - I'll do it.

Or I'll find someone with a machine.

Look, I know that the union dying was really hard.

- Not dying, just napping. - Sure.

A-and I'm really glad that you're still looking

for something to fight for,

but in the last month there's been the voter registration,

and the bricks in the toilet for the water conservation,

and then that poor dog

you rescued from his own backyard.

That yard was a mess, and he was skittish.

Yeah, because a stranger was taking him from his home.

It's just...

It's a lot.

Okay, all right, all right. I get it.

You're busy, and I'm annoying.

No, no, that is not what I...

But if you feel that way, I mean, I support you stopping.

Hey, Rodriguez, we have a problem.

I thought I was gonna tell her.

It's my job to report issues to the manager.

Marcus came to me with a problem with...

Oh, you're gonna laugh, but I've forgotten what it was.

Oh, come on. We're low on produce.

Our distro guy said we haven't re-upped our contr...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

So no new contracts until the acquisition is finalized,

which means no produce deliveries,

so today we are skewing a little husky.

So we should be fine,

but there is a chance that we may have a problem

when the weekend kale-heads roll in.

Okay, fine, I'll figure out who I'm supposed to call,

and I'll call them.

A-and what do I tell my guys?

With deliveries down, everyone's worried about their jobs.

Just tell 'em that nothing's gonna change.

Probably.

Emphasize "probably."

It's not reassuring, but it is honest.

All right.

Garrett, do you mind if I use your phone?

My bus driver asked to use mine,

and then he put it in his pocket and drove off.

Sure, yeah.

Oh, hey, I wanted to ask you, I got your wedding invitation,

and the food options are savory or sweet?

I was kind of hoping to have one followed by the other.

Anyway!

It's 2020.

Finally, right?

When did you mail out invites?

Mine hasn't arrived yet.

Oh, that's weird.

You know the post office; so slow.

Well, I guess it doesn't matter.

You already know my RSVP is yes.

Yay.

I didn't invite Carol to the wedding.

Yeah, I was able to piece that together.

But I thought you guys were cool?

No. I mean...

She's been helping me with wedding stuff,

but I'm still a little nervous.

I walked in on her in the bathroom yesterday,

and she was practicing smiling.

Okay, you know what? You're making too big a deal out of this.

You just need to go up to her and go,

"Carol, you're not coming to the wedding."

Wow, what a wordsmith.

You should tell her exactly like that.

Oh, me? No, I'm not...

You're right. It just makes sense

since you're Jerry's best man.

Thanks, Garrett.

You don't have to get us a wedding present.

Telling Carol is more than enough.

Oh, hey, that's my phone.

- Girl, you're looking hot. - Oh, my God. I love this.

Slow day at the Vision Center?

I'm avoiding Dan today.

He just saw "Fight Club"

so he's having a really dated midlife crisis.

Wow. Cool shirts.

I know, right?

Who knew Cloud 9 would ever catch up

to intersectional feminism?

We'll look it up later. Don't give him the satisfaction.

Although, I do wonder if there's an opportunity here

to... to kind of make more of a statement out of this?

Instead of just makeup and phones,

what if we gave them all computers, you know?

Or... or... or put them in, like, a science lab, you know?

You know, like, Marie Curie and...

I... her gang.

You want to give mannequins jobs?

Never forget how fun you are, Jonah.

Look, everything is so hectic with this acquisition,

and I need a floor supervisor,

and you are the obvious choice.

- This is such an honor. - Oh, God.

I'm getting emotional.

I don't know if it's that music that you're playing, but...

Oh, I'm just on hold with Corporate

trying to get more produce into the store.

Oh, shouldn't be a problem today.

It's looking really husky out there.

Right? So husky.

I know.

Anyway, so you can start right away?

Um, actually, I'm not sure.

It's just that when I supervise, I stress,

when I stress, I drink juice,

and when I drink juice, I develop Type 2 diabetes, so...

Could I just think about it for a little while?

Um, okay, yeah.

Sure, take... some time.

- Okay. All right. - Okay.

It's funny 'cause Tuesday's are usually the husky days.

I know.

Thank you for calling Cloud 9 Corporate.

There are 97 callers ahead of you.

Please continue to hold.

Good job on the display.

Oh, thanks. Yeah.

This one's doing stem cell research.

Which obviously doesn't matter, but it matters.

Ah, it's great. T-shirt activism.

Anytime we cash in on a cause,

it always means cha-ching, cha-ching.

That's a cash register.

Yeah, maybe it's a little calculated,

but it's... it's promoting gender equality.

That's... that's a good thing.

- Well, let's take a look. - Yup, $12.99.

The similar style in the men's department: $7.99.

Well, the... glitter's probably pretty expensive.

Oh, wake up, Jonah, this is the pink tax in action.

Women have to pay more for clothes, razors, deodorant,

I mean, that's why I use dog shampoo.

'Cause I know the truth.

But I mean, this is great.

We're gonna sell a ton of these.

You should be very proud of yourself.

Yeah.

- Whoa, mom, these are cool. - No, they're not!

We're taking advantage of you.

Not... her.

All... all girls.

Whoa, man.

Did you take all those girly power shirts down?