Bonanza

Hey, man, ain't that something?

Well, just like Mr. Greeley said, it's really something.

Mr. Greeley needed the money, so me and Little Joe put up $500 and bought

ourselves two-thirds of a going enterprise.

$500?

That's right, and Greeley's gonna run the place for us.

Yeah, and all we gotta do is just sit back and collect two-thirds of the profit.

How long have you two been in this saloon business?

About four weeks.

And this is the first you tell me about?

Well, it's the first time we saw it.

We didn't want to spoil everything.

Yeah, and we wanted you to see it too, Paul.

Well, I know a little bit about the cattle business and horse business and lumber,

but I'm afraid saloons aren't in my line.

Mr. Greeley says it's going to be a regular goldmine.

Just look at the business they're doing there.

All right, let's take a look inside.

Here, let me take your horses.

Howdy.

H.

Turner?

I thought you said the man's name was Greeley.

Old man Greeley?

Oh, his place is down the street, hon.

Thank you.

Trails end.

Certainly well named.

Coalmine.

You sure Greeley didn't say coalmine?

Oh, you can't judge a place on first impression.

How many impressions?

You need.

Hey, Jamie.

Jamie.

Jamie, why don't you wait for us outside?

There's no place for you to be.

I was just taking a listen.

Hey, Jamie, go on.

Do like Paul says.

Ain't fitting a boy your age be golfing with fancy women.

Hoss.

Yeah.

We made a mistake.

Joe, you ain't even give it a half a chance yet.

Customers?

Oh, you're Mr. Greeley.

Greeley.

No, no, no, sirs.

I, sirs, am Darius Dalrymple, your bartender and servant.

Sure you wouldn't like a drink, gentlemen?

No.

Yeah.

Mmm.

It's marvelous.

I buy it over at the Golden Spurs Saloon.

25 cents a shot, straight whiskey.

Good stuff.

You sure you don't want any?

No.

Where is Mr. Greeley?

Oh, he's over at Snedeker's.

That's the funeral parlor.

What's he doing at the funeral parlor?

He's a client.

Boys, look, take my advice right now.

Get rid of this place immediately.

Understand?

Yes, sir.

And the moment you do, meet us in Carson City.

Yeah.

Paul, best of luck with Miss Frost.

I don't think you're going to need it, but... Well, good luck to you, too.

I'm afraid you will.

Hey, you're Mr. Greeley.

Greeley's partners.

You mustn't sell.

You mustn't.

Why not?

You can make yourself a tidy profit from this establishment.

I'd be the only thing tidy in this place.

Excuse me, my customer.

Howdy, partner.

Oh, French.

French or you don't speak English.

You speak French?

Not so as you can notice it, no.

See, I told you, you can make yourself a tidy profit from this establishment.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

That's 15 cents.

You told me you paid 25 cents a shot for the whiskey.

Well, that's all French you can afford.

Oh.

Hey, seeing as how you're Greeley's partners and all, don't you think we

should go over and pay our last respects to poor Jebediah?

And maybe I'll tell you something about Trails End.

Maybe.

Oh, I think I know everything about Trails End.

I need to... Oh, wait a minute, little brother.

Maybe we ought to go over and pay our last respects to our ex-partner.

What about him?

Oh, he's all set.

He only buys the one drink.

Good, all we can lose is a dime.

Rest in peace, Jebediah.

You know, I was all he had in the world.

Poor neglected soul.

Speak to him of neglect, Mr. Stern.

Mr. Snedeker.

I strongly object to Mr. Greeley being stashed away in a back room like a floor mop.

I'm certainly not going to put a saloon keeper in my front parlor.

Well, you got Reuben Lucas out front, and Jebediah is just as good a man as Lucas.

He's just as dead.

I'm sure you understand my position.

I'm president of the local temperance league.

I trust you're in sympathy with the anti-saloon movement.

Well, we try to see both sides of it.

Mrs. Lucas, you must be brave.

Mrs. Lucas runs the boarding house.

Two dollars a day in advance, dinners at six.

Young lady, young lady, contain yourself.

I can't help it.

I loved him so much.

Who are you, girl?

I'm his daughter.

Who are you?

Well, I guess I'm your mother, seeing as how this is my husband laid out here.

Now, now, now, there must be some explanation.

What's your name, young lady?

Ellen Sue Greeley.

An innocent case of mistaken identity.

This way, Miss Greeley, and my condolences.

Greeley's daughter?

Jebediah never said nothing about having a daughter.

Don't you think it's kind of strange she doesn't recognize her own father?

Oh, no, it happens all the time.

When a loved one passes away, the survivor sometimes goes into shock.

Grief unhinges the mourner's mind.

Yeah, I suppose.

Besides, they all sort of look alike once they're in the box.

Mr. Cartwright, may I call you by your first name?

Oh, yeah, yeah, Joe, thank you.

Mr. Cartwright, I'm about to impart something to you that I've never breathed to another living soul.

There, there, there, my dear, you must be brave now.

Oh, I'll be all right.

I have to be.

I intend to operate my father's salute.

Well, of course you will.

He would have wanted it that way.

Told me so many times.

Place is kind of a mess right now.

You got a nice place to stay?

I've checked into the boarding house.

My boarding house?

What do you think, Joe?

Do you think Ellen's suit could make a go up?

Go what?

We got one customer and we lose $0.10?

Every time he comes in.

Oh, come on, be serious.

I mean, she's all alone in the world.

I think we ought to give her a chance.

Yeah, I'll drink to that.

I figured you would.

You gonna, you gonna tell her to keep me on?

Why not?

Gentlemen, may I say, may I say that there has not been a finer display of generosity

towards one's fellow man since old Abe delivered his second inaugural address.

No, no, sir.

That's, oh, welcome to Trails End, Miss Greeley.

Oh.

Oh, so this is my poor dear daddy's place.

Miss Greeley, congratulations.

We're going to let you run this saloon.

Oh, oh, thank you.

I'm so delighted.

And you know what?

I come with the place.

It's not much help, but it's hard running a saloon.

Oh, well, we Greeleys are used to hard work.

Back in Boston.

Boston?

I thought your pa was from Philadelphia.

Back in Philadelphia, yes, we learned how to work hard.

How long did you live in Philadelphia?

Oh, five, six... Fourteen years.

Fourteen years, right, and I was just a small thing then, but I can remember my

mama saying, Jeremiah, she said, we really ought to move out west.

What'd I say?

Well, we thought your pa's name was Jebediah.

Well, of course, but we had this little joke.

You see, when I was small, I couldn't pronounce Jebediah, so we called him

Jeremiah, and you don't believe a word of this, do you?

No.

No.

I didn't think so.

Now, why don't you tell us what you're up to, huh?

Oh, I don't know.

Somebody hired me to pose as what's-his-name, Greeley's daughter.

Who?