Tiger Shark

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

YOU YELLOW-BELLIED DEVIL, YOU!

HEY, LEAVE THAT ALONE.

I'M THIRSTY.

LEAVE IT ALONE, I TELL YOU!

ALWAYS YOUR BACK, IT ITCH.

THANKS, MIKE.

OUR FRIENDS STILL WITH US?

YEAH...STILL WAITING... STILL HUNGRY.

YEAH, YOU GOT GOMEZ, AND YOU GOT TORO,

BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET ME, MIKE MASCARENHAS!

NO. YOU'LL WAIT TILL YOUR FINS ROT!

THOSE AREN'T NO SAVVY PORTUGUESE, MIKE.

YOU HAVE TO TALK ENGLISH TO THEM.

I GET YOU SOME WATER.

LEAVE THAT ALONE.

I WANT SOME, TOO.

NO. YOU'VE HAD MORE THAN YOUR SHARE.

LOOK OUT, MIKE!

AAH!

Mike: YEAH! YEAH! ALL RIGHT. TAKE HIM!

HE BELONGS WITH YOU!

HOW HE TASTE, HUH?

LIKE ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN, HUH?

IS PRESENT FROM MIKE MASCARENHAS.

HEH, HEH. YEAH.

HUH?

PIPES! PIPES, LOOK! LOOK!

THEY'RE COMING FOR US! THEY SEE US!

I TELL YOU YOU WILL NEVER GET ME!

I TELL YOU...NEVER.

MIKE!

MIKE!

HEH, HEH.

HA HA HA!

AH, BOY, MAKE IT GOOD, HUH? HA HA HA.

OK, MIKE. THANKS.

IT'S A GOOD THING I GOT THIS, HUH?

YEAH. LUCKY FOR ME.

AH, BOY.

HEY, NOT BAD, HUH?

COME ON, MIKE.

OH, NOW, COME ON. WE KID HER A LITTLE BIT.

COME ON. WE GOT FISHING TO DO. COME ON.

SAY, HOW'D YOU DO LAST NIGHT?

LAST NIGHT? LAST NIGHT, I DO GREAT.

YOU KNOW THAT ELLA? SHE'S A GREAT GIRL. SHE'S CRAZY FOR ME.

OH, YEAH?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT?

SURE, SURE. I SUPPOSE SHE'LL BE DOWN TO SEE YOU OFF.

OH, YEAH. I BET SHE WAIT FOR ME ON THE PIER RIGHT NOW.

SHE SAY I'M THE BEST MAN SHE EVER MEET.

YEAH? SAYS YOU.

HELLO, MATES.

HELLO.

HELLO, ELAINE.

HELLO, PIPES.

HOW ARE THINGS?

FINE. HELLO, MIKE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.

ELAINE, WHERE'S ELLA?

ELLA TOLD ME TO TELL YOU SHE WAS SORRY.

SHE SAID TO TELL YOU HER UNCLE WAS SICK.

UNCLE SICK?

YES. THAT'S WHY SHE COULDN'T COME.

IF ELLA DON'T COME, HIS UNCLE IS MORE THAN SICK. HE MUST BE PRETTY NEAR DEAD.

I GOT TO GO GET BUSY NOW.

ALL RIGHT, MIKE.

YOU TELL ELLA I BRING HER BACK A BIG FISH NEXT TIME.

I'LL SEE YOU SOME MORE.

GOOD-BYE, MIKE.

YOU'RE A FINE GUY.

WAS ELLA SORE BECAUSE I BROUGHT MIKE?

SORE? BOY, WAIT TILL SHE SEES YOU.

I GUESS MIKE DON'T DO SO GOOD WITH YOU GALS, HUH?

UH-UH. IT ONLY TOOK HER 10 MINUTES TO GET RID OF HIM.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?

HE STARTED RIGHT OFF TELLING HER WHAT A BREAK SHE WAS GETTING MEETING HIM.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE MIKE. BUT HE'S A SWELL GUY, THOUGH.

Mike: HEY, PIPES!

YEAH?

LET'S GO!

BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE.

YOU GOING TO MISS ME?

SURE, I AM.

IT'S GOING TO BE TOUGH AROUND HERE WITHOUT YOU.

YEAH, I GUESS IT WILL BE, HUH?

GOOD-BYE. BRING US BACK A BIG LOAD.

YEAH. I BRING YOU BACK BIGGEST LOAD YOU'LL EVER SEE.

COME ON, SEAMAN, GET BUSY.

FISHBONE, YOU GO DOWN BELOW AND FIX UP THOSE ENGINES.

SHE'S NOT BAD.

THAT'S MY GIRL.

THAT HER, TOO?

YEAH. THAT'S ALL HER.

OH.

LOVE, ESSIE WESSIE.

ESSIE WESSIE? WHAT IS THAT?

HER NAME IS ESTHER, BUT WHEN WE'RE ALONE, I CALL HER ESSIE WESSIE.

OH. ESSIE WESSIE.

SHE'S CUTE.

YOU DO PRETTY GOOD.

YEAH. SOMETIME WHEN WE'RE ON SHORE, BOSS,

I GONNA GET A GIRL FOR YOU.

YEAH?

YEAH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DON'T NEED NOBODY FOR GET GIRL FOR ME.

I NEED SOMEBODY TO KEEP GIRL FROM ME.

BOSS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO GIRL.

SURE, I HAVE!

LAST NIGHT I HAVE GIRL IS MORE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU GOT THERE.

I SEE YOU LAST NIGHT. YOU NO GOT A GIRL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU WAS ALONE.

NO, I WAS NOT ALONE.

OH, YES, YOU DO.

YOU TRY TO MAKE LIAR FROM ME?

NO, BOSS, BUT YOU WAS ALONE.

YOU LITTLE SARDINE! YOU ARE--

Pipes: WAIT A MINUTE.

HE WAS NOT ALONE LAST NIGHT. HE WAS WITH ME.

HE HAD A GOOD-LOOKING DAME, TOO.

HE JUST LEFT HER DOWN ON THE DOCK CRYING HER EYES OUT BECAUSE HE WAS GOING AWAY.

YEAH?

YEAH! NOW WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY?

WELL, BOSS, IT MUST HAVE BEEN ANOTHER FELLOW.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN TWO OTHER FELLOWS.

YOU SARDINE, YOU!

EASY WEASY.

ESSIE WESSIE!

HOOGEE WOOGEE!

ESSIE WESSIE, PIPES.

SURE, IT IS, FISHBONE.

NOT BAD.

ALL READY, GUY?

SURE, I'M READY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE THE HEADLIGHT.

ALL RIGHT BACK THERE?

Man: OK!

ALL RIGHT, START HER UP.

HEY, YOU KNOW I WAS ALONE LAST NIGHT.

I'VE BEEN ALONE EVERY NIGHT SINCE I'VE BEEN HOME.

WITH WOMANS I DON'T DO SO GOOD. YOU KNOW THAT.

SURE, I KNOW.

WHAT FOR YOU SAY THAT TO HIM?

BECAUSE HE HAD YOU IN A SPOT, AND I WAS TRYING TO LIE FOR YOU.

YOU WANT TO LIE FOR ME? YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

I'M THE BEST LIAR ON THE PACIFIC OCEAN.

YOU'RE TELLING ME?

THE PHILOLOGIST BLOKES, WHO SELDOM CRACK JOKES

SAY THAT HASH WAS FIRST MADE ON THAT SPOT

AS ABDUL'S LONG KNIFE WAS EXTRACTING THE LIFE

HE WAS EVEN SHOUTING, "HUZZAH!"

HE FELT HIMSELF STRUCK BY THAT WILY KALMUCK

COUNT IVAN SKAVINSKY SKIVAR

THERE'S A TOMB RISES UP WHERE THE BLUE DANUBE ROLLS

ENGRAVED THERE IN CHARACTERS CLEAR

"AH, STRANGER, WHEN PASSING, OH, PRAY FOR THE SOUL...

Mike: ...OF ABDUL MASCARENHAS ABULBUL"

A MUSCOVITE MAIDEN WHOSE LONE VIGIL KEEPS

'NEATH THE LIGHT OF THE PALE POLAR STAR

AND THE NAME THAT SHE MURMURS SO OFT AS SHE WEEPS

IS IVAN SKAVINSKY SKIVAR

HA HA HA! OH, BOY, HE'S GREAT FELLOW, THIS ABDUL.

SOMEDAY SOMEBODY GOING TO WRITE A SONG LIKE THAT ABOUT ME.

NO, NO. NOBODY WILL WRITE SONG ABOUT YOU.

HUH? WHY NOBODY WRITE SONG ABOUT ME?

FIRST, YOU GOT TO GET A GIRL. YOU MUST BE DEAD.

I CAN GET ANY GIRL!

AND I CAN BE DEAD, TOO, ANYTIME I FEEL LIKE IT.

YEAH, AND THEN I GO TO HEAVEN,

AND ST. PETER, WHEN HE START TO READ OUT OF THE BOOK,

I SAY TO HIM, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THE BOOK. YOU JUST LISTEN,"

AND ST. PETER, HE LISTEN,

AND THEN HE HEAR A SONG COMING UP ABOUT MIKE MASCARENHAS.

NO. THE SONG WILL NOT COMING UP.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THE SONG WILL GOING DOWN.

HUH?

YOU GO TO HELL.

HEY, NOBODY SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO ME.

YOU DON'T--

YOU MEAN BECAUSE MY HAND IS--

MM-HMM. SURE. SURE.

EVERYBODY KNOW THAT TO GO TO HEAVEN,

YOU MUST HAVE TWO HANDS, TWO FEET.

YOU MUST BE 100% PERFECT.

NO FISHERMAN CAN GO TO HEAVEN WITH A BITE OUT OF HIM.

HMM?

SAY, WHO STAND AT THE GATE TO LET YOU IN?

ST. PETER.

WELL, HE WAS FISHERMAN, DON'T HE?

SURE.

HE WAS FIRST-CLASS FISHERMAN IN HIS DAY, HUH, DON'T HE?

OF COURSE.

ST. PETER, HE CATCH LITTLE FISH--YOU KNOW, SARDINE, JUST LIKE THAT,

IN SEA OF GALILEE, DON'T HE?

YOU DON'T THINK ST. PETER CLOSE THE GATE ON MIKE MASCARENHAS,

WHO CATCH BIGGEST FISH IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN? NO, HE DON'T.

I BET ST. PETER, HE ASK ME GO FISHING WITH HIM.