Ugly Betty

Hilda,I'm so sorry,but it has to be my last shampoo. I gotta go.

Betty,take it easy. I like it rough,but only on the weekends...

if you know what I mean.

ugly betty S04E03

Sorry,Sammy,but I gotta get going. I'm just anxious out getting to work.

Aunt Betty,don't worry about it.

I'll just stay home from school and help out.

I'm not double-booking haircuts to make money to get you into private school

just so you can get rejected 'cause you're too stupid

'cause you skipped public school.

Here we go,ladies. A little dulce and cafecito on the house.

Hey,Sammy. Betty tell you about the big promotion?

No,what big promotion?

Yeah,well,I-I got promoted to Associate Features Editor at "Mode."

But don't you worry. I will be back to assistant in no time.

Mija,don't talk like that.

Sit up. Well,it's true.

My first issue as editor is going to print,

and I am the only one without anything in it.

Plus,Matt is killing all of my pitches and basically making my life impossible.

You know you're hurting me,right?

Matt is a spoiled bitch.

- Mija! - Hilda. - Mom.

I'm sorry. I'm just saying.

Everybody is all sweet when you're in love,

but it's when something bad happens--

that's when a person shows their true colors.

I don't know who he is anymore.

Well,I don't know if you guys know this,

but currently,I'm working in the fashion industry.

- What? - Oh,yeah.

I'm doing the remodel on Evan Grant's condo down in the west village.

Evan Grant?

The Dolce & Gabbana men's designer

who breathed life into the fur-trimmed hoodie?

Must be. I heard him on the phone saying

he's leaving the Dolce and going to the Gucci.

- What? - Now that's supposed to be a secret,all right?

No one's supposed to know about that.

But let's be honest. Who the hell cares?

Oh, Sammy.

If--if I could get the first published interview

with the new Creative Director at Gucci,

do you know what that would do for me at work?

Well,maybe Sammy can hook you up with the guy,and you can ask him all about it.

Yes.

Betty,Sammy promised to "hook me up" with a salon chair two months ago.

You see it here?

Well,anything you could do, Sammy.

I--it would-- it would really help.

There are a lot of people lining up for my job.

I don't want to make it any easier for them. Thank you. Bye!

Oh,my god. Wilhelmina is going to freak.

Claire and papa Hartley killed the Cotton Club Shoot.

Now baby Hartley's calling an emergency editor's meeting.

- Morning,guys. - Hate you. Oh,yay.

I'm so glad that I get to catch a rare glimpse of the last living Monchichi

waddling into a meeting that I should be in.

You are,like,oozing self-pity today. Something's up.

Oh,my god! Happy birthday!

We are not talking about that. Got it?

One more mention,and heads will roll--

pretty blonde heads that don't have their original nose.

Mean.

Ooh,ooh,sorry,Betty. I always sit here. Remember?

okay,um,Matt.

Is there another chair?

Uh,oh,yeah. I asked for one for you.

Um,I guess that's all they had.

A beanbag?

You all right down there?

Yep. I'm fine.

How is Betty the editor of a fashion magazine?

That would be like me being the editor of,like,

a mechanic's magazine or you being the editor of a magazine.

Pick up your face.

Wait. You just totally slammed me.

At least you were considered for the job.

Nobody around here even takes me seriously.

Damn it. You just made me think about my life.

with the cotton club shoot dead,that means that there is an opening in this issue.

- So I'm gonna need-- - wait,I'm sorry.

Did you say an opening in this issue?

Uh,yes. That's what I said.

I will be taking pitches all day. So I need good ideas.

But think cheap,okay? The budget is only gonna be about...

uh,Betty. Can you not text right now?

Yeah. No,I'm sorry. It--it's business related.

See,I was shampooing this guy's hair this morning,

and he said he might have a story for us.

Well,it wasn't,like,a creepy shampoo.

My sister has a hair salon,and it was just busy,

so she needed my help. I'm her sister. What am I gonna say,no?

Okay,stop. We're uncomfortable.

Ay,so come to me whenever you have your pitches. All right? Let's go.

Matt. Matt. Matt.

Yeah.

I think I might have a pitch,actually. A pretty good one.

Nothing personal,but I can't take "might" to Wilhelmina. Thank you.

No,I know that. I know. But you know what?

The way you said that,that did feel a little personal,

and I would just appreciate it--Matt,

- don't-- - okay,Betty,don't--please--

look,I am trying to keep my job here just like you are.

And I don't know if you realize this,

but your U.N. fiasco made us both look bad.

So which one of us is making this personal?

They are so in love,it's disgusting. I want that.

Take it. I just want her job.

Are we obsessed with Betty?

Yes. and it's exhausting.

Oh,I know,and I'm sorry.

But that psychedelic misfit toy is living my dream.

Would I let someone take my dream from me?

Or would I find a way...

to take it back?

Oh,I never think to destroy someone for me.

At's called low self-esteem.

I can't believe this is still healing.

How hard did you hit him?

It was like his stumble actually fought back.

Oh,no.

I can see you,Daniel.

Hate my new desk.

Aren't you supposed to be at a support group meeting right now?

Daniel,is that true?

I didn't want to go,all right?

Some sad bereavement group is not gonna help me get over Molly's death.

That's not what I need right now.

What,support,guidance?

Care... shared experience--which of these is the problem,Daniel?

Come on. You're kinda trapping me with your words there.

Daniel,this sort of thing can't keep happening,

as much as I would like for you to punch Matt in the face again right now.

There is another meeting this afternoon.

If I find out that you're not there,I'm gonna physically carry you myself. Got it?

Betty,did you know that editors' calls

get transferred to assistants during editors' meetings?

Yep. I used to get 'em when I worked for Daniel.

Remember how irritating it is? Please hold for your pretty sister.

When you're done listening in on Betty's phone call,I need my coffee.

Hilda. Did you get my text?

Yeah,I got it. I called Sammy,and guess what.

The stupid goomba came through.

No! He did?

For you-- a big meeting with a fancy designer today at 4:00.

For me--nothing.

Today! What?! This is amazing.

Hilda,if I can get this story,I can get it in this issue.

What was that? You just a burb at me?

No. I-I don't know what that was.

You know what you do,right?

You go into Matt's office and you rub this in his spoiled rotten face.

No way,Jose. I am keeping this one to myself.

If I want to keep my job,I have to go around Matt.

He's made that very clear.

All right,I will text you the address. I gotta go.

Okay. Thank you,thank you,thank you,Hilda. I love you!

It's about time. I'm trying to find somebody

to cover a busboy shift at the restaurant.,

Oo let me do it.

- What? - Yeah. - No. - Why?

I said busboy. Not bus-you.

Papi,wait.

I really need the money to get Justin out of that awful school.

I promise you,I will do such a good job. Ridiculous.

- Okay. For Justin. - Yeah.

Now get over there early so they can train you.

Please,papi. I think I know how to take dirty plates off of a table.

Mizrahi's tv show,Cindy Crawford's skin care line--

have I stepped into a time warp? Is--is this the '90s?

Well,actually,you know,those things are happening right now--

don't give me these tired pitches to replace my canceled photo shoot.

Now I know fashion's not really your thing,

but you can at least try to fake it better.

We're done. Get out.

Please tell me some good news. I'm not enjoying my day.

You are now. I found Connor.

Feel like a trip to Bermuda?

Are you going down there now?

Well,what are you gonna do,march up to him and say,

"hey,Con,remember that money you stole from 'Mode'?

- Hand it over"? - No,Marc. I'm gonna make him an offer.

He can either come back to the U.S.

With my armed bounty hunter

and stand trial for his crimes,

or he can give me what's left of the money,

and I can buy out Hartley and the Meades and... you know the drill.

They're clearly trying to push me out of this company.

I can see it in their old,droopy eyes.

Are you gonna be able to do this?

I mean,you did have feelings for that man.

Whatever feelings I had,Marc,won't get in the way. I am no amateur.

Where is she off to,club a seal?

Whatever. She's gone. It gives me time to deal with Suarez.

Apparently she's got some huge story that's gonna save her ass at "Mode.

" She has a meeting with a mysterious "he" at 4:00.

Ooh. What's the story?

Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna let her get it.

And if young Betty doesn't get something in soon,