Baywatch

HELP!

ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON.

HOLD ON TO THAT.

PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND IT.

SO WHAT'S HER NAME?

WHO?

YOUR DATE FOR TONIGHT.

CAROL.

IS SHE NEW?

NEW? WHAT YOU MEAN?

-HAS CRAIG OR GINA, OR ANY OF THE GANG MET HER YET?

NO.

SAME WITH ANDY. EXCEPT FOR YOU.

WHO'S ANDY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ANDY, ANDREW GARRISON.

YOU TOOK ME TO OLLIE'S, AND WE DANCED ALL NIGHT.

I CAN'T PLACE THE FACE.

IN THE PARKING LOT.

YOU TURNED BLUE WHEN YOU SAW HIS '68 VETTE.

NO.

-HE LIVES IN THE MARINA. HE GOES TO LAW SCHOOL.

BIG BLUE EYES. HE'S 6'3".

-HEY, THAT GUY WAS NO MORE THAN 6'.

SO YOU DO REMEMBER HIM.

UH...

VAGUELY.

HEY, LISTEN, I WAS THINKING.

WHAT?

-SINCE IT'S HIS FIRST TIME MEETING EVERYBODY,

MAYBE YOU COULD TALK TO HIM.

YOU KNOW, MAKE HIM FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.

WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?

WHAT? WHAT?

THIS IS GONNA BE SOME HONEYMOON, HUH?

YOU'LL GET YOUR HUSBAND BACK.

YOU'LL BE GOOD AS NEW TOMORROW.

GINA?

EXCUSE ME, JUST A SEC. EXCUSE ME.

-THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THESE CHICKEN BALLS.

WHAT?

THEY DON'T TASTE LIKE CHICKEN.

JILL. JILL.

DO ME A FAVOR. WOULD YOU TASTE ONE OF THESE?

SURE, WHICH ONE?

THIS.

IT'S GOOD.

YEAH, BUT WHAT IS IT?

VEAL?

SEE?

STOP IT. DON'T TICKLE ME.

-I CAN'T HELP IT, I-- I HAVE TO TOUCH YOU.

IT'S LIKE AN ADDICTION.

YES.

HEY, BUDDY. FOR YOU.

-OH, GREAT, THANKS. THAT'S GREAT.

HEY, TRY ONE OF THESE FOR ME, WILL YOU?

-OH, WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THIS TASTE TESTING THING?

HI, YOU LOOK NICE.

THANKS.

WHERE'S YOUR DATE?

SORE THROAT, YOU KNOW?

UNDER THE WEATHER. 102 TEMPERATURE. AWFUL.

WHAT IS THIS? CHEESE?

YOU SEE?

OH... WAIT, SORE THROAT?

102 TEMPERATURE? UNDER THE WEATHER? AWFUL.

-I'M SURE THAT WAS GOING AROUND.

YOU KNOW, I WASN'T SURE I WAS GONNA MAKE IT.

HEY!

EXCUSE ME.

IS THIS THE LIVER?

DOES IT TASTE LIKE A LIVER?

NO, IT TASTES LIKE A CHICKEN.

WHAT'S UP?

IF YOU STARE AT THAT CLOCK ANY HARDER,

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT STOP.

I WISH I COULD.

JENNY'S GONNA SHOW UP ANY MINUTE.

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED JENNY.

IN SMALL DOSES.

-COME ON, IS THIS THE SAME HOBIE BUCHANNON

WHO JUST LAST WEEK WAS SAYING JENNY WAS GREAT,

THAT SHE WASN'T LIKE A GIRL AT ALL?

-YEAH, DAD, BUT THAT WAS BEFORE SHE GLUED HERSELF TO ME.

SHE LIKES YOU.

SHE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.

SEE? THERE SHE IS NOW.

I CAN'T EVEN RIDE MY BIKE

TO JUNIOR LIFEGUARDS ALONE ANYMORE.

I MEAN, A GUY NEEDS TIME TO HIMSELF, YOU KNOW?

GEE.

FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT I'D BE GOING TO HEADQUARTERS ALONE.

-ARE YOU JOKING? WHO WOULD YOU RACE WITH?

WHO'S RACING?

-DON'T TELL ME YOU WANT MORE THAN A TEN-SECOND HEAD START.

HAVE A SAFE RIDE.

PARTY WAS PRETTY GOOD, WASN'T IT?

YEAH, IT WAS GREAT.

-SO THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE EARLY?

WHY DO YOU CARE?

-MAYBE BECAUSE I ASKED YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR

AND MAKE ANDY FEEL AT EASE.

AND INSTEAD, YOU DID JUST THE OPPOSITE.

OPPOSITE? WHAT DID I DO?

LET ME SEE, WHERE SHOULD I START?

YOU MADE FUN OF HIS CLOTHES, HIS HAIR, THE WAY HE LAUGHS--

-HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I WASN'T MAKING FUN OF HIM.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE HIM FEEL

LIKE HE WAS ONE OF THE GUYS.

-BY SPRAYING HIM WITH A BEER CAN?

THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

OH... ACCIDENT?

YES, AN ACCIDENT.

YOU'RE SERIOUS?

ABSOLUTELY.

I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO EMBARRASS YOU.

-WELL, THANK YOU, 'CAUSE I HAVE TO ADMIT I DID THINK THE WORST.

SO...

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ANDY.

-CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, PLEASE?

YEAH, BUT WHY?

BECAUSE I'M...

SICK OF "ANDY" THIS, "ANDY" THAT, THAT'S WHY.

I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

I THOUGHT AT THE VERY LEAST YOU'D BE CURIOUS.

I'M NOT. AT ALL.

-WELL, I AM. I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ANDY.

SO MAYBE WE'RE NOT FRIENDS AT ALL, EDDIE.

MAYBE I'M JUST SOME LIFEGUARD OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

WHO YOU SHARE A SHOWER WITH.

WE'RE FRIENDS.

OKAY?

WELL, THEN BE HONEST WITH ME.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ANDY.

HE'S A JERK, SHAUNI.

AN ARROGANT BONEHEAD AND A PATRONIZING STOOGE.

THAT'S WHAT I THINK, OKAY?

WELL, WHO ASKED YOU?

CONGRATULATIONS.

FOR WHAT?

FOR GRADUATING ROOKIE SCHOOL.

MITCH SAID YOU WERE TOP OF THE CLASS.

OH, YEAH, THANKS.

IT'S A BIG HONOR BEING A COUNTY LIFEGUARD.

I GET TO WEAR RED TRUNKS, CARRY A RESCUE CAN.

DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT ALONG WITHOUT THEM.

-THERE'S NOTHING LIKE THE ENTHUSIASM OF A ROOKIE.

TOM LOGAN.

NAME OF THE GUY THAT OWNS THE BOAT.

HE'S BEEN HANGING AROUND THE CLUB

THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS, DRUMMING UP BUSINESS.

THAT'S A BUSINESS?

CATERED PARTIES.

BOOZY, BREEZY. MOSTLY BOOZY.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A LOT OF FUN.

THAT KIND OF FUN WE DON'T NEED.

SOONER OR LATER, WE'RE GONNA BE PULLING PASSENGERS

OUT OF THE WATER.

I ALREADY HAVE.

DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY. A WEDDING PARTY.

THE BRIDE TOOK A HEADER OFF THE STERN.

THEY DIDN'T EVEN MISS HER.

WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?

OH, I SWAM HER TO SHORE.

WEDDING'S OFF.

WE'VE GOT A DATE NEXT WEEK.

YOU TALKED TO LOGAN?

WHAT ABOUT?

THE LIFEGUARD STUFF, YOU KNOW.

ALCOHOLIC CONSUMPTION, ENDANGERING PASSENGERS,

THAT KIND OF THING.

-WELL, I DIDN'T WANT TO OVERSTEP MY MARK, YOU KNOW.

AFTER ALL, I'M JUST AN ENTHUSIASTIC ROOKIE, AREN'T I?