It's All Good

What if I told you

there was a group of film makers

so provocative, so electrifying,

that anything they touched turns straight to gold?

Well they exist, and they go by the name FND Films.

Three boys from sweet home Chicago

with a combined 30 years of experience.

They do it all, writing, lighting, directing.

Action.

And audio.

With 300,000 subscribers world wide

it's no surprise they have amassed over 100,000,000 views.

But so what?

These guys aren't in it for the accolades,

they're in it to make good honest work,

and they're gonna do it for you,

for a reasonable price.

FND Films.

Please hire us.

Wow.

Wow, um, that seems very impressive.

Well, we are 100 percent committed to

delivering the most exemplary product possible.

Right, I understand that.

But guys, this is overkill.

Overkill? If I may...

Just point out there's plenty of Joe

and Jane Schmoes out there puttin' up content.

You know, not everyone is gonna give you art.

Mm.

- Um, guys, this is my son's little league game.

- And it's gonna be the best damn little league game

you've ever seen, because it's one of our productions.

We're gonna mic up the umps, we're gonna

have drones circling the outfield.

I mean imagine your son, Kevin,

steppin' up to that plate - Oh, yeah.

in crispy slow-mo, he's cranking on that bat!

Errrr! (mimics explosion)

- Boom, he knocks the leather off the ball,

the crowd's stands up, they're going wild!

- Ooh! - He hits third,

- Ooh, Kevin! - he's circling home,

We see it in a telephoto lens.

You see the beads of sweat dripping

as he's running, he's chugging along,

he slides into home plate, his cleats are kicking up dirt,

the dust settles, the ump calls, and he's out!

"You're out, you little bitch!

"You disappointment!

"Dad's mad!" I'm sorry.

Hey, he's passionate, he's passionate.

But you know what? So are we.

And guess what?

You're gonna get a Blu-ray DVD after the game.

Ah, no.

I'm gonna have my other kid shoot it on a smart phone, okay.

The quality on these now-a-days, it's good enough.

All right?

It shoots 1080p.

Yeah, we're familiar.

It also has slow-mo on it.

Oh, did you go to film school?

No, did you go to butt school?

Ohh, very clever.

That's hilarious.

Hey, let me tell you something

about cinema, kid. - Mm-hm.

Mise En Sc—

Did you?

What?

Did you go to butt school?

No, I...

All right guys, guys, guys.

I'm sorry, it's a no.

I appreciate your enthusiasm.

Good luck with your little films, and your company.

Coop, tell your mom I said hi.

Yeah, yeah okay, okay, Brent.

Thank you.

Thank you for your time.

Sure.

What does that even mean, butt school?

- Well I like to think it's school for butts.

- Okay, sure, but is a bunch of bare cheeks

walking around trying to higher their education?

- No, no, no, it's normal people learning about butt stuff.

Guys, who cares?

Okay, we just lost a gig to a 12 year old girl.

We need to start looking for real jobs.

Well I'm gonna take a real job

with Mary at the juice joint, so...

Oh, and there goes the neighborhood.

You know what?

I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna find work for us.

How 'bout that?

Oh yeah?

And how you gonna pay bills 'til then?

'Cause you owe me 50 for electric.

I'll take out another student loan.

- Oh, yeah, 'cause you don't have to pay those back, moron.

- Okay, all right, let's not be downers about this.

We don't need the negative energy right now.

Hey look at us, right, come on.

We're three young, super sexy, hot, dudes

taking charge, about to make this city our bitch.

Right? Come on!

All right.

All right, he's on board!

Yeah.

- Let's fucking party, you guys, shit yeah.

Let's party.

Yeah, but if you guys are only gonna

drink water, you're gonna have to go. (laughs)

Bye bye, have a nice day sweetie.

- Okay, so please make sure you vacuum today--

Yes.

Bye.

Let's play ball.

Come on now.

Yeah, sorry. I don't have any work.

But pop in next week.

You know, you never know if a side job's gonna come up.

I will, thanks OJ.

How 'bout your movie stuff?

You make any money with that?

No, man, it's dead.

We had to let it go.

Well, coffee's on me.

Thanks man.

- Are you still chewing food?

Damn it!

- Drink fluids, drink fluids.

- I don't want any more fluids, piece of shit!

- Are you still chewing food?

Come on.

Oh man, it's okay, I know this thing looks stupid.

No it's, uh, what is it?

Drink fluids.

It's a life fork.

Keep chewing.

It's a fork that plugs right into your phone.

And it's supposed to help, like,

regulate your digestion patterns

and all this nutritional shit.

And you know what?

The software is all fucked up right now.

Chew food for 90 hours.

Why don't you just return it?

I wish.

I spent like $100 on one of those

crowd funding websites just to get it.

So, no refunds.

Really.

How much money they make off of those?

I don't know, like 150 grand.

(gasps) 150.

OJ, you hear that, 150 grand?

For a fork?

It's this whole crowd funding craze.

Like truly, I get so swept up in stuff like that,

that I will throw any amount of money at anything stupid.

It's like any idiot with a turd

of an idea gets $100 of 'ol Dana's money.

God, I am fucking stupid.

So we crowd fund a feature film?

Yes!

You guys, I don't know why we didn't think of this before.

Crowd funding is so hot right now.

This is our chance to do something

we love and get paid for it.

The great white whale.

- Sounds better than working at the juice bar.

I'm barely making ends meet.

Oh my God. It's two bucks.

I'm doin' it.

You really think we can raise enough?

I mean a feature's pretty expensive.

We totally can.

I was researching campaigns last night.

It's a gold mine on there.

People are raising money for all kinds of stuff.

This one guy raised $50,000 just to make potato salad.