Oh, God! Book II

What a mess.

Every time I look down there, it gets worse.

Maybe I ought to stop looking down.

Millions of planets,

and that one has always been a problem.

Why that one? I know why.

People. I had to put people on it.

Maybe I ought to go down there and look around.

I got to do something.

Let's see, um...

Please, not now. I'm thinking.

Tracy. Don't forget to wear your hat.

Bye, mom.

Tracy.

Mom, who wears hats?

Young ladies do.

And besides, hats are coming back.

Oh, mother.

Who knows where he'll take you?

He's my father, and you know where he's taking me...

to a movie and a Chinese restaurant.

He always does.

Well... You look terrific.

In fact, you look fantastic.

Have a good time.

Hi, shingo.

Think fast.

Want to play?

I can't. I'm going with my father.

I like to go to the movies

and eat Chinese food.

I wish my parents would split...

But Japanese parents would never split.

Why not?

They just don't.

Pretty good for a girl.

Want to try again?

Don't press your luck.

Hey, how's my baby?

Ok.

Good.

Gee, you look nice.

Thank you.

Can you get the door?

Ok.

So, uh, how's school?

Fine. Fine.

Listen, you can go all out today, you know?

Double egg rolls, extra fortune cookie, whatever you want.

I got a new spaghetti account.

Want to hear the slogan I came up with?

You ready?

"The taste of mama."

That's it?

Come on, that's only the slogan.

Now imagine it...

there's a big pot

of really rich tomato sauce bubbling.

Suddenly, out of it

come two really delicious-looking strands of spaghetti,

right? Then...

they break into this wild dance to a disco beat.

Dancing spaghetti?

Well, Mr. Tenesto likes it.

Then I like it, too.

You're not asking what I brought you?

Thanks.

That's it? Thanks? You're not going to open it?

You open it, and a big snake jumps out, right?

Right.

Oh, daddy. You and your tricks.

You're always trying to pull something on me.

So what do you want to see?

Attack from the hidden planet.

Oh, no, Tracy. Not another one of those.

It's supposed to be terrific.

You said that about the one last week. Some thriller.

In one second, a plant turns into a person?

Come on, Tracy.

But they explained it.

It was because they came from another planet.

I mean, their spirits did.

I didn't see any spirits. What spirits?

Daddy, you can't see spirits.

Tracy, just once can't we go see a normal movie

with Laurence Olivier or...

Walter matthau?

Benji. I'll even go see a movie about a cute dog. Huh?

Just because you can't see spirits

doesn't mean they're not there.

It's kind of like believing in god.

Sometimes you just have to believe in things you can't see.

Ok.

I got to call Joan.

I'll be right back.

You still going with her?

Yeah.

She isn't as pretty as mom.

Well, she has other qualities I find attractive.

Her big boobs?

Give me a break, will you?

Mom says she has big boobs.

I wonder what kind of boobs I'll have?

I'll be right back.

I'll have the butterfly shrimp.

That's good.

That's a party of three at 7:00.

Ok, Mr. Jones.

Come in, Tracy.

It's all right. Come in.

Tracy, I'd like to talk to you.

Where are you?

I can't see you.

But you can hear me, Tracy.

Dad?

I've been called "our father," but never dad.

Aw, come on, dad.

Another one of your trick voices?

You can't fool me.

Where are you?

Tracy, I'm god.

Yours truly from the fortune cookie.

Ok, so you're god.

What can I do for you?

Tracy, I really am god.

I'd like to know you a little better.

That would be nice,

but first make up with mom.

Why don't we meet in front of the store Monday?

Oh, yeah. That would be great.

Tracy, if I'm your father,

wouldn't those girls hear me talking?

Did you just hear that man's voice?

What voice, honey?

Where?

Tracy, they can't hear me.

There. Did you hear it?

No.

But... but if you were god,

why would you bother with me?

Tracy, it was something you said

that sort of interested me...

that sometimes you just have to believe

in things you can't see.

Wow! How'd you know I said that?

I know, I see, I hear.

This place is too busy. I'll see you later.

Wait! Don't go yet.

Where later? How?

Tracy.

Huh?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Manley.

Who were you talking to?

I don't know.

I'm not sure.

Are you still there?

He's gone.

You ok?

Yeah.

You've been awful quiet

since we left the restaurant.

I'm fine. I've just been thinking.

Thinking? About what?

Have you ever felt like you might be dreaming

even though you knew you were awake?

Would you like to run that by me again?

Like something happened,

but it's more like a dream than real.

Daydreaming. Yeah, sure.

Happens to everybody.

It's ok.

I got to stop by the office for something.

Wait for me in the car?

Ok.

All right?

Tracy, it's me again.

What? What?

That wasn't a dream you had. It was real.

Where are you?

In the back seat.

Well?

Disappointed?

Oh, gosh, no... God, sir.

Why... why would I be disappointed, sir?

Are you really god, sir?

Forget the sir. Just plain god.

The owner of the store.

Also known as the man upstairs.

I don't know. Somehow I thought you'd look holier...

And more fancy, sort of.

I mean, like with a crown and a long beard

and a flowing white robe.

You're thinking of charlton heston.

I can't get over it.

It's just that...

that I guess I expected you to look much older.

Thanks, Tracy. I take care of myself.

How old are you?

Who knows?

After the first 2 million years, I stopped counting.