The Pistol Shrimps

: It is really difficult to go undefeated in any sport.

I think, you know,

there's the term, "any given Sunday,"

so, like, any team is capable of beating any other team,

but, you know, sometimes,

it's got to be, like, you know, your very best day,

and somebody else's maybe not their best day,

and those things coinciding.

Right? Don't you like to win?

I mean, who doesn't like to win?

So, it's almost impossible to go undefeated.

: Here is Aubrey Plaza.

You're in a-- a women's basketball league?

: You can come see it every Tuesday night.

I'm on a team called the Pistol Shrimps.

: The Pistol Shrimps?

That's me right there, uh, giving the finger.

: Yeah.

Very nice. Appreciate that.

And, uh, we're a really serious basketball team.

No, you're not.

Yeah, we are.

It's time to lay down some hardwood

and skin some rubber.

You're listening to us broadcasting

from a corner of the gym.

Spirited, positive, and ready for action.

Sounds like Pistol Shrimps' basketball to me.

Now let's hear the starting lineup.

Number 9, Amanda "Fun Buns" Lund.

Number 53, Paisley Grey.

Number 3, Melissa Stetten.

Number 99, Jesse Thomas.

Number 1, Aubrey Plaza.

19, Stephanie Allynne.

Number 0, Angela "Swaggy Trim" Trimbur.

Number 11, Tali Levi-Crouch.

Number 16, Maria Blasucci.

Number 8, Kelly "KV" Vallon.

Number 25, Laura "Lights Out" Jack.

Number 33, Molly Hawkey.

Number 21, Ingrid... "Han Mah Boogie!" Walla.

It's Shrimps Basketball time.

It's Shrimps Basketball.

This message is to all of our haters...

"We love to ball, and we ball hard.

"No haters allowed.

"You're either with us or against us,

"and may God help you if you're against us,

because we will dunk on your ass so hard!"

Hey! Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!

Well, I've never played basketball.

I'm not really sure what basketball is.

I know you're supposed to get the ball in the hoop.

I don't know if they ever touched a basketball before,

quite honestly.

I don't think so. I don't think so at all.

I was playing a lot of basketball,

but I was always doing pick-up games with guys.

One day...

thinking to myself,

I really want to play team sports,

because I don't really get outside much.

Maria sent out a little Facebook message

and said, "Do any of you want to play basketball?

"It'll be a good chance for all of us to exercise

and then have milkshakes,"

or something like that,

and everybody was like, "Sure!

"I've never played a sport before,

but that sounds fun."

: We went looking for a rec league,

and it was very hard to find one.

: It took Maria to ask,

"Has anyone ever signed up for the league before?"

: And they were like, "Oh,

this league has not existed in, like... years."

Women never sign up to be in a women's league.

: And boys have a league,

for whatever reason,

but the girls need a league, too...

'cause otherwise, they're just out on the streets.

: Maria took it upon herself

to sort of drum up enough teams to make something happen.

: She said, "Yeah, don't worry.

We're all just going to learn from scratch."

She posted something on one of the comedy groups.

All of a sudden, I get, like, an email,

like, okay, first game is this,

and I'm like, "Okay." Like, I'm on the team,

but it was like, "I made the team!"

We have to run now.

This is middle school P.E. all over again.

: I remember the first game,

and, like, I had this pain in my chest

from breathing so hard.

It would just burn so bad, and it was awesome.

: They may have been trying

to put it together for a while,

and all of a sudden, it just came together.

: The ref was like,

"You ladies are doing something historic today,"

and I said, "Somebody should've recorded that."

: They've found out Women's Rec League Basketball

didn't exist in Los Angeles,

but they changed that.

They'll probably win an award or something.

They're called the Pistol Shrimps.

That was an incredible move.

Thanks.

What do you bring to the squad?

Oh, I'm really good at defence.

I went to an R.E.M. concert once.

Can you twirl a ball on your finger like this?

Just give it a shot.

Um, yeah. Let me just, uh...

Yeah, see?

That was... good job.

Do you think you can bring a title to Los Angeles?

It's been a long time.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, we're going to win the-- the cup...

the Stanley Cup.

We're trying to interview you

so we can hype your team, but...

But we don't care about being famous, okay?

We just want to ball.

We just want to play basketball.

You wearing a backpack?

I am.

Do you think it's stupid

that it's called "man-to-man"

when it's women?

Should we call it "woman-to-woman"?

No.

Thank you.

So the whole thing is a miserable failure

and you don't win any games.

That's not going to happen.

We're used to that.

We don't care about winning. We care about playing.

From the beginning, we lost every game.

I vaguely remember losing all the time.

First season,

I don't know that we won any games.

I think maybe one?

No, we were terrible.

Awful.

Really bad, embarrassingly bad.

But, you know, I always learn something.

I would go to a game just knowing that I would lose.

For a while, we were just losing and losing and losing.

It was still a lot of fun,

and people came to watch us play, and, like...

we had fans.

People came to watch us lose.

Like, they knew we were a losing team,

but they still showed up.

: So I came to the first game,

thinking it was going to be some joke,

and they were really playing basketball.

Everything worth doing it good starts out sounding like a lie,

like it's fake.

The one time we won,

it was like, "Oh, right! That's what we're going for."

: I just went in being like,

"Okay, I know I'll lose,

but we'll do better than the last game,

or we won't get angry at the other team.

We'll just have fun."

: Well, it's a blustery Tuesday.

I'm thrilled to be back, Mark.

I missed you, as you know,

and in our former life,

we were probably a lot closer than we are.

: I would agree with you, Matt.

Hopefully, the Pistol Shrimps

can summon the power of Grace Jones

and take home a victory here tonight at Pan Pacific Park.

: This is Season Four for the women's league

here in L.A.

Three seasons have gone by, and our Shrimps are back.

: Back in action.

This match-up against the AlleyOopsies.

: Smells like

a basketball game's about to start.

: That's right.

It also smells like what the Rock is...

: Let's go!

: Four, five, six!

Shrimps!

: Stetten will pass inside to Allynne.

Allynne will turn around and shoot.

Aw!

: Rim foul, no good.

: It's still anybody's game,

but if anybody takes it from our Shrimps, well,

they're going to have to talk to you,

right, Mark?

That's right.