A Dozen Summers

As every child knows, as I'm sure you know,

there are a great many stories. Too many even to count.

There are stories of great deeds and high adventure,

stories of magic and mystery,

of princes and princesses.

Stories of boys and girls who learn to do the impossible,

and soar to heights they have never imagined.

But the one thing they all have in common

is that they all have a beginning.

Our story is no different.

Now you two stay out of trouble, okay?

Yes. Of course.

It begins in an ordinary town,

full of ordinary people,

doing terribly ordinary things.

But this was no ordinary day,

and it was to be no ordinary summer,

for an adventure was about to begin

that would... - Oy!

That would change the lives

of everyone... - I said, Oy!

What the hell do you think you're doing?

I don't know what you mean.

Are you filming kids?

No!

Well, I mean, obviously, yes. But not like that!

Like what, then?

'sighs'

Maisie!

Mrs. Vargas is looking for you.

What's he doing?

Filming kids.

- That's well wrong... - I know!

Now, children. This is all a terrible misunderstanding.

I'm simply attempting to tell a story.

You like stories, don't you?

Yeah, that didn't sound dodgy at all.

I'm going to tell the headmistress you're filming kids and

she's going to call the police and you're going to jail.

I'm not filming bloody kids, alright?

You shouldn't swear, you know.

Yeah. There are Year Threes here. You're definitely going to jail.

Look, uh, wait. You're right. I'm sorry.

What kind of story, anyway?

Sorry, what?

You said you were just trying to tell a story.

Go on then. What kind of story?

Well, you know, a kid's story. “But this was no ordinary day

and it was to be no ordinary summer. For

an adventure was about to begin that would...”

Ugh. Boring.

It's not boring.

It's totally boring. That sounds old. And rubbish. And boring.

Well, it isn't. So, if you'd just clear off and let me get on with it.

Mrs Vargas! A stranger asked me where I live!

Hey, no. Hold on a minute.

He said I can have some sweets if I get in his car!

That's not fair.

Life's not fair.

Alright, alright. Have it your way.

But now you'll never know how the story ends.

I'll get over it.

Hey! Where do you think you're going?

The story's just getting started.

Heaven knows, how much longer I can hold this pose.

Cause you can swap my head and change my clothes. But I'll remain the same.

Preserved inside this picture frame, above my paste and glitter name.

A past that makes you tense the more it grows.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You may see what I'll grow up to be. But I just learned to spell consultancy.

Cause when you say you need me, I feel like plasticine.

Cast in the mould of someone else. Who says he's grateful

for his health. But acts like he's been recently deposed.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

You always break your toys.

Well, I think ifs a brilliant idea.

You would.

I also think you're an idiot.

Which proves my ideas are usually right.

What horror movies have you even seen?

I've seen loads.

Sure.

I have.

Uh huh.

It's not my fault you're too babyish...

Hey. Thai hurt.

It was meant to, dummy.

How do you like this?

I liked it just fine, thanks.

You're a freak.

You'd know. Now shut up and watch, you might learn something.

My name is Maisie McCormack. This is my twin sister, Daisy.

We're 12 years old. And this is our story.

What the hell was that?

Like, the introduction?

Well, it sucked.

No, it didn't.You don't know anything about it.

I know that sucked.

We should have a ghost girl, that haunts a school

and eats all the teachers.

No, it's got to be about people we know. All the people we know.

Fine, a ghost girl that eats all the people we know.

There's no ghost girl.

You're so boring.

Stop being a pain. What does Dad always say'?

'Why are there plates in your underwear drawer?"

No. Write what you know.

And we know crazy people. Lots and lots of crazy people.

True. But that's not a story. That's just stuff.

We'll make it into a story. We... edit it.

And how do you suppose we do that?

We can do anything. It's a movie. Watch.

And that, kids, is how you edit a movie.

Any questions?

What was that?

You said we could do anything we want.

And that, children...

is how you apply monster make-up.

You're not doing it right!

It's my movie too!

Then do it properly!

Idiot.

I'll tell Dad.

And?

You'll see.

Daisy McCormack?

I didn't do nothing.

Anything. You didn't do anything.

You said it.

Well, your sister says you called her an idiot.

She's lying.

The cow.

Oh, really?

What are you doing?

I ain't doing nothing.

You leave Hettie alone! She's not part of this!

Thai would never happen.

I'm just saying.

It wouldn't.

Fine.

Now, Lady Daisy, you know are the most beloved

of my children and the very light of my days.

Obviously. Go on.

It pains me to report that the evil witch...

I seem to have forgotten her name. Does it start with an N'?

Maisie.

That's the one. It pains me to report that the

evil witch Maisie has issued the most dreadful

slanders against you.

Of course, I do not believe a single vile word of it, but...

I did want to know how you'd like me to proceed...

You're such an idiot.

Off with her head.

Mmm-hmm.

Shhh.

What are you laughing at, weirdo'?

Sorry. I was just thinking about your face.

Ewww, what were you thinking about me for'?

Lesbian.

Do you even know what that means?

Uh, yes.

Of course.

D'uh.

Go on, then.

Beth. Tell her.

It means gay.

And, what's wrong with being gay'?

Wasp.

See, even your sister admits it.

You're a Les... Bi... An.

Time to go.

Just pathetic.

I said I was sorry.

Why did you tell them I was gay?

I didn't. I only said there wasn't anything wrong with being gay.

I know there isn't anything wrong with it. I'm not stupid.

I'm just tired of everyone saying I am, when I'm not.

It would be fine if you were.

I'm not.

You know what Dad would say.

Don't tell Dad.

Why not?

Cause he'll go to school. And he'll give a speech or something.

And then we'll have to move.

You're supposed to tell someone if you're being bullied.

We're telling EVERYONE! Just don't tell Dad.

Fine. I won't.

Thank you.

What about Mum'?

Definitely don't tell Mum.

Now, children. Today we're going to learn how to make beautiful

egg transporters, using only common household items.