Darkwing Duck

3, 2, 1!

Let's get dangerous.

Darkwing, Darkwing... Duck!

Look out!

Let's get dangerous.

- State your name. - Darkwing Duck.

- State your occupation. - Terror that Flaps in the Night.

State your case.

I caught that hateful, underhanded ham,

Tuskernini, robbing a bank.

I object, Your Honor! I am not a ham!

Darkwing Duck, do you have any evidence?

These reviews of his performance in Son of Macbeth.

I mean the bank robbery.

These newsreels of Tuskernini committing the crime.

This signed confession

and the testimony of over 500 eyewitnesses.

Ha! Flimsy evidence.

Counsel for the defense.

A penny... A cent...

Through a cent... In a cent.

Yes! Your Honor, I am innocent!

A wildebeest? A water buffalo?

It's a sheep.

A sheep. Sounds like a sheep. Asleep! Yes!

I was asleep, Your Honor.

A picture. Yes, yes. I was in a picture.

Yes. Son of King Lear, as I recall.

- A picture frame? - That's it. Framed!

Enough of these charades. I find you guilty as charged.

But, Your Honor, I was framed...

by Darkwing Duck.

What?! Why, you... Oh, I'll frame you all right.

Order in the court!

Darkwing, let him go or I'll find you in contempt!

Oh, go away. I've had a rough day.

This is your lucky day, Drake.

The new line of Quackerware came in

and you get first shot at it

on account of because you're such a pal. Ha-ha-ha!

Anything to make Herb Muddlefoot shut up.

Oh, hello, Drake.

I thought you might like to sign up for this wonderful new program...

Herb and I volunteered for.

Anything to make Binkie Muddlefoot shut up.

Oh, well, what could be worse

than one of the Muddlefoots?

Now what?

Just wanted you to meet our new house guest, Drakester.

Did you know your houseguest

is Thug Neanderthal, a convicted felon?

Oh, well, of course we do, silly.

Thug's our adopted convict.

Oh, a real prize, too.

His crimes were especially cruel and senseless.

But Binkie's cooking oughta turn him around.

Doing your part for society by adopting a convicted criminal.

What a great idea.

What a chump.

Your Adopt-a-Con should be here any second.

Gotta go, Drake.

Yeah, bye.

What?!

- What are you talking about? - Well, the Adopt-a-Con Program.

That was so nice of you to sign up.

No way I'm playing housemaid to a criminal.

Hey, Dad, what are you doing?

If anyone comes to the door, don't answer it.

And if anyone asks, you don't know me.

I'll get it.

Is Mr. Mallard home?

Congratulations, Mr. Mallard,

on supporting the Adopt-a-Con Program

by taking a convicted criminal into your home.

These are the rules.

You must provide room and board for your convict and respect his privacy.

Your convict must obey all laws and never leave your house.

Never?

During his stay your convict

must learn a new trade.

If you attempt to harm your convict

or destroy this contract,

you will be imprisoned.

Use this panic button in case of emergency

and I will appear immediately. Any questions?

Couldn't I just save a whale instead?

And now I'd like you to meet your new house guest,

the soon-to-be-reformed Tuskernini.

Enchanted, Mr. Mallard.

So you see I was merely returning the bag of money I found

when Darkwing Duck appeared

and accused me of stealing it.

You mean you didn't really rob that bank?

Is this the face of a bank robber?

Ah, what a wimp.

The Muddlefoots got a better criminal.

Maybe I should go make up Mr. Tuskernini's bed for him.

Dad, are you OK? What are you doing?

The judge wants to reform Tuskernini,

so I'm going to reform him...

into a pancake.

Then we can adopt you after the judge throws you in prison!

Unless, of course, he gives you the chair.

Maybe I should wait till Tuskernini tries something.

After all, I've got him right under my bill

where I can keep my eye on him.

He thinks I'm just some unwitting fool.

But, as Drake Mallard, I've got the perfect cover.

By the way, I booby-trapped the door.

Why aren't the dishes done? Why isn't the floor swept?

Why isn't the table set?

Huh? What's eating him, man?

This reminds me of the time

I was filming in the Amazon and was attacked

by a prehistoric, nine-toed mega-sloth.

What the...?

The law requires me to take up a new trade,

so I am starting my own band.

Gosalyn, I smell a rat.

Oh, can I keep him, Dad?

That's not the kind I meant. And no, you can't.

Why... I love band instruments.

Can I take a look, hm?

Can you play Lady of Spain?

A most suitable cover for our operation.

An ideal location for the tunnel.

To work, lads, and keep down the noise.

Shh!

What is that racket?

We are tuning up.

I'm gonna find out what's going on in there.

Tunnel ready.

Door ready.

Catapult ready.

Action!

Whoo-hoo! It's a take.

Time for this reformed criminal

to take up a new trade.

Maybe he really is starting a band.

Hey, DW. I just heard Megavolt's robbing the Fifth National Bank!

Let's get dangerous.

Oh, you are a genius, Tuskernini.

No one will ever see through this brilliant disguise.

I am the Terror that Flaps in the Night.

I am the slug that crawls... Hold the mayo.

You're not Megavolt. You're Tuskernini

in a really bad Megavolt disguise.

I am not Tuskernini, and this is an excellent disguise.

Really? Well, Megavolt, let's see you shock me.

Come on, go ahead.

Give me your best shock. Be my guest.

How about this?

Stand back or I will zap you with my magneto-gun.

Excuse me, it's "electro-gun" and that is a hand vacuum.

Now suck gas, evildoer.

I think I'm on to something.

Give me that!

P-U! Stink gas!

He may have gotten away, but I know where he's going.

And I know a shortcut!

Wait'll the judge sees this.

This better be good.

Darkwing Duck? I told you to stay away from Tuskernini.

No problemo, since Tuskernini's not here.

Can I help you, gentlemen?

What is the meaning of this?

He tried to rob a bank. I saw him.

Your Honor, I do believe he's trying to frame me again.

I'm gonna frame you!

Why are you doing this to me?

Oh, it's true, Your Honor.

Yes, I've robbed banks

and ripped the warning labels off mattresses,

and a lot of other bad things,

but that was such a long time ago.

- That was yesterday. - I've turned over a new leaf.

I've seen the light. I've gone straight!

It's a miracle, Your Honor! I'm a reformed man!

How could you be so cruel?

That's it, Darkwing Duck.

- You're going to jail. - But I can't.