Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan (うらみちお兄さん)

Together with Maman !

Hey, everybody! I'm Uramichi Oniisan!

Think of me as your big bro!

Konnichiwa !

I hope you're excited,

'cause we've got some fun activities planned!

Now then, everyone gather around me, okay?

That's right. Hop to. Keep it movin'.

Good job. Hey, you, too, buddy.

C'mon, don't make this harder than it has to be.

Now, let's start today's episode of Together with Maman !

Why is your voice sound like that?

Don't worry. It's just from all my hard drinking.

Let's see some hands!

Which of you kids are just bursting with energy today?

Me!

Cool, and who's just feeling okay?

Me!

Who's in pain? Fatigued?

Frayed like a dog's favorite toy?

Me...

Interesting. Just me, huh?

Well, well.

Oh, Hello, Yuka- chan .

What's with the surprise attack? Wanna chat?

I was just casting a spell to help you feel better, Oniisan!

That's nice.

Ya know what?

Yuka- chan just inspired me

to cast a special spell on all of you!

What kinda spell will it be?

It's a spell of preservation.

With any luck, it'll save you kids

from ending up like me in 20 years.

Okay, cut! Let's take a quick break.

Uramichi Oniisan !

Hi! Welcome back, kids!

We should sing the ABC Song right now,

but there's been a little change of plans.

I've decided to teach you the Uramichi Song instead!

It's a fun little protest song.

I wrote the music and lyrics all by myself!

Let's not worry about coming up with a new exercise for it.

Just follow my lead and we'll feel it out as we go.

Wait, so why aren't we gonna do the ABC Song today?

I don't wanna do another song.

Because RAC needs to know that I'm pissed off.

JAS(bleep) is like an octopus that loves sweet treats,

who sticks his gross tentacles into other people's cookie jars.

And with his mouth full, says, "You're welcome, bud.

I made sure no one else would eat your cookies.

Aren't you glad I have a monopoly

on the copyright collection business?"

Everyone ready?

'Kay! Let's go!

The "U" in Uramichi.

Right! But what about the "Ra"?

You know me well! Now what about the "mi"?

And "chi"!

Mh-hm.

Excellent work!

That was super impressive, kids, seriously!

As boring as that was for you tykes,

you still managed to feign interest!

Keep honing that skill, 'cause when ya grow up

and enter the workforce, you're gonna need it.

Hey, Uramichi Oniisan!

What does "enter the workforce" even mean?

It's a crossroads.

A point at which society expects you

to make big choices that'll dictate the rest of your life.

Oh, yeah?

You'll be mocked, rejected, and shot down.

Not only when you're hunting for a job,

but for half your adult life!

Just keep your chin up

and never lose sight of who you are, understand?

Keep a list of the people who've wronged you

and never forget that Oniisan's favorite little siblings

are the ones who can throw a good sucker-punch.

Uhh...

Okay, cut! We're movin' on!

I'll see you next time!

Bye!

'Kay, so we're bringin' in a different set of kids

for the next segment.

Feel free to rest up while we prep 'em, cool?

Sure!

You're doin' great, Uramichi, just keep it up!

Thanks a million. I sure will.

Huh? Ah!

It's Uramichi Oniisan!

Are you going home, too, big brother?

No, I'm just taking a break right now.

How come?

You know how you don't feel like playing

if you can't get your rest at naptime?

Well, if my facial muscles can't rest,

they'll start twitching till they die.

Uramichi Oniisan !

Hi!

Let's start today's episode of Together with Maman !

Oh, but before all that,

I've been told that little Miki- chan

wants to ask me a question!

What could it be?

Go on. Ask away.

Um. How old are you, Oniisan?

A little over 31.

Really?

My dad's 29, so that means

you're a lot older than him, right?

Isn't it a little weird that you haven't gotten married

or become a daddy in all that time?

Cut me some slack, would ya?

Okay, sure. Learning moment.

No person's life will be quite like any others.

So just 'cause a guy tends to spend

his evenings alone at home,

downing cheap saké and watching unfunny sitcoms,

doesn't mean he's some kind of depressed misfit.

Words can kill people.

So keep your judgy thoughts to yourself.

Sorry, but I don't really understand

what you're talking about.

Neither do I.

I'm falling apart...

Hm? It's Tomoki- kun , right?

Didja trip and fall? That must hurt, huh?

Okay. Let's get your mind off it, pal.

What happened to my smile and my will to live?

Where are they now?

Gone.

When you grow up, you'll have to make yourself stop crying.

Act too sad and the people you love

will pry you off like a tick.

Now! Let's call in our friends,

Usao- kun the bunny and Kumao- kun the bear!

And go!

Usao- kun ! Kumao- kun !

Huh, well, that's odd!

Maybe they aren't as good at Japanese as us.

Let's call for them in English, okay? And go!

Mister Bunny! Mister Bear!

Still no sign of those two. What's the deal?

I guess we just weren't loud enough that time.

Let's give it one more try! And go!

Mister B--

Are you okay, Oniisan?

Is it the drinking?

I said to start coming out the second time we call.

But the script says we should come out

the third time you call.

Scripts come and go, but I've only got one throat.

Uramichi Omota, 31 years old. Single.

He works as a gymnast Oniisan.

As an award-winning gymnast

with a degree in physical education,

his body is extremely stable and balanced.

Especially... when compared to his emotional state.

As of late, whenever I raise my voice,

I kinda feel something get torn away.

What's that?

My soul.

I don't get it. Why does he still work here?

Uramichi, you were a hero

at Sports Science University.

As your juniors, we both looked up to you.

But now... Well, remember what Professor Anzai told us?

"If you give up early,

the game'll be over before it starts."

But it turns out there are some games that go on

long after you've given up.

Like the game we call "life."

That's a wrap for the day!

Way to go, everyone! Good hustle!

Where's our star? He comin' out tonight?

Heh. Doubt it. He's already gone home.

Yeah. He does tend to be the first one gone, huh?

You could call me two-faced,

but every adult has a hidden side.

Don't rat me out.

Just pretend you didn't see, okay, kids?

Why? Why does the sun keep rising?

Welp, I don't know about you,

but I'm raring for some ABC calesthenics!

Why not the RAC Song?

Are you not fighting them anymore?

That wasn't a fight. It was a reckless provocation.

Did I abandon my principles overnight?

Yes, because that's what grown-ups do when they're weak.

Okay.

Good. Good. Now gather around, everybody!

Is that your real voice, Oniisan?

Are you asking me if I have to force myself

to sound this relentlessly cheerful?

No way, I'm happy!

That wasn't a joke, ya lil goober.

Hey, Oniisan! Did something good happen to you today?

Of course not!