Royal Pains

Previously on Royal Pains

Oops.

Raj?

We started spending time together,

but we are not ready for anyone to know yet.

For a man who was engaged just a few days ago

you certainly don't waste any time.

Cut yourself some slack.

You deserve to live happily ever after

whether that's with a prince, or a polo player, or a Raj.

__

The patient we were expecting, his health is crucial

to the survival of an entire culture.

Good morning.

Good morning, ma'am. Morning, Nurse Margaret.

When you work 12-hour shifts, morning is a relative term.

Oh, those are fresh bagels.

Yeah, yeah they are.

For the nurses?

Well, you know the budget.

What happened to those bagels you had a couple days ago?

They hardened, like your heart.

Well uh, you know in China, no one ever gets bagels.

This is the Hamptons.

Hey, guys.

Poch!

What's up, my man?

Give me five, Poch.

Yeah.

It's Rinpoche.

It's an honorific given to only

the most esteemed spiritual leaders.

Yeah, Poch makes him sound like he's an egg.

Got it. Doesn't his surgery start soon?

Where are all the doctors?

The military cardiac team is delayed at Walter Reed

due to the weather.

His temperature's a little high.

Should we be concerned?

Well, it could just be a byproduct of all the travel.

Ibuprofen may do the trick,

but I'll run blood and speed him cultures to be safe.

So since he's a Buddhist,

I asked them to make him one with everything.

Really?

- Buddhist humor. - Hmm.

Here you go. So this...

Sorry, he can't eat until after the surgery.

All right. Um, you know what?

I'm going to give him his get well gift now then.

He's the 11th reincarnation of a holy Tibetan lama.

I don't think he wants your...

Rawr!

Seven. He's seven, Hank. Excuse me.

Okay.

So it does say "Sammy the snow leopard" on the tag,

but you can call him whatever you want, okay?

Seems a little long, uh, but it's your call. That's great.

All right, I need you to spit in this. Um...

Nothing?

Could you tell him I need some sputum with phlegm?

That would be testing the boundaries

of my conversational Tibetan, but I'll try.

I'll need his cultures expedited.

Yeah, of course.

I'll need a signature from one of the attending physicians

for that. You want me to pick one or...

Mr. Lawson.

If I'd wanted to involve the doctors at Hamptons Heritage,

I would not have built this entire facility.

Right. The reason I brought it up...

Expedited without a signature, please.

Okay, but that might raise questions for us

which could then lead someone to discover this facility

which I don't think you want.

What I want is someone to provide solutions, not problems.

Surely there is some other way then.

I can think of one.

Make me an attending.

Hey, thanks for the help with Boris.

Yeah, don't worry about it.

So, you feel different now that you're an attending?

Like, tied down, committed, boxed in?

It's a formality, Evan.

Think of attending like you think of Rinpoche.

As an honorific.

Right. But still, it's kind of like I'm your boss.

Interim boss.

Right. Interim.

Yeah.

Thanks.

So when I left last night,

did you get the deal on all this or what?

30 years ago, the Chinese burned down Rinpoche's monastery.

And their old leader barely escaped with his life.

Eight years ago, that Rinpoche died

and is believed to have been reincarnated as this Rinpoche,

a young boy with a heart defect.

In order to protect him, his condition has been kept secret.

Wow.

But I meant, like, what's the deal with Boris?

Like, what's all this to him?

Oh, no idea.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah.

Take you down into the nation's capital

into DC.

Look at that storm

just whipping through town right now.

40-mile-an-hour, moving off to the east.

Severe thunderstorm warning,

but it's right inside the Beltway here.

But all these commuters on the roadway.

And DC, by the way, DC is one of those voted

the world's worst

and the U.S.'s worst traffic...

Get out of here. Excuse me.

This is...

Sh... shoo.

Get...

Get out of here.

Look, it's prettier over there. Go. Get. Get.

Bluh!

Get... oh, ah!

No, no.

What the hell?

Divya!

Shh.

Shashi's sleeping.

My apologies.

It was not my intention to startle either of you.

And what is your intention?

I thought you would appreciate a break from the drudgery

of your paperwork

which I am pleased to see is actual paperwork

and not fabrication meant to spare my delicate feelings.

Ah-ha! Yes, it's real. All too real.

Then my timing is, as usual, impeccable.

Come. You will have tea.

Well, I can't say no to that

partly because it wasn't a question

and partly because I do enjoy a good cup of British tea.

How do you feel about French?

This is Darjeeling Star

from Mariage Freres on the Rue des Grands-Augustine.

One of my favorites.

Just the scent alone is spectacular.

It is even better in Paris.

Where, as it happens, I have business next weekend.

Join me.

That wasn't a question, either.

Well, I should hope not.

Quami, the tea is very good

but I can't go to Paris with you.

There's work, I mean, there's Sashi, there's...

There's the Seine.

There is the salt air.

The lights.

- The Louvre. - Mm.

Indulge me.

Close your eyes and picture it.

- The cafes. - Mm-hmm.

The cathedrals.

The kiss.

The kiss.

I refer of course to the Rodin sculpture

in the Jardin de Tuileries.

Ah-ha, oui! Of course.

Or did you see something else?

Well, not something else, just...

Someone else.

Hm. I...

This is a strange and unusual feeling.

It is...

rejection?

Quami, you are the most charming prince I have ever met.

But my Prince Charming...

he's someone else.

The other gentleman you once spoke of to me?

Is this who you see yourself with?

Yeah, it is.

And you are quite certain?

I am.

Finally. I am.

Royal Pains - 07x07 - Lama Trauma

I got you now.

Oh, my God. What happened? Are you okay?

No. Something just attacked me.

Flew right at my head like I was Janet Leigh.

- No, that's Psycho, ma'am. - Excuse me?

No, not you, the movie.

Janet Leigh was in Psycho. Tippi Hedren was in The Birds.

And who are you, the man who knows too much?

No, I'm Evan R. Lawson. I'm the administrator here.

Interim administrator.

Well, what kind of cockamamie place are you running here?

Things in the hallway flapping at people?

It's unsanitary.

We're on it ma'am.

Stan?