Your Friends & Neighbors

- - Wait!

- -

Elena?

Take it easy. It's me. Coop.

It's not what it looks like.

What it looks like is you're breaking into the house of the guy who stole your wife.

Is that Nick's gun?

It's mine.

Why do you need a gun?

- Why would Nick? - Well, can you not point it at me?

You know I'm not gonna hurt you.

I don't know what I know. Five minutes ago I didn't know you were a thief.

I was just gonna take the ring.

And when Nick notices his championship ring is missing,

- who do you think he's gonna blame? - Come on. Nick loves you.

Nick loves watching my ass when I clean his house.

That's...

...fair.

The Sperlings loved Ariana.

They fired her a few days ago.

One of Mr. Sperling's watches went missing and they blamed her.

That woman practically raised Chelsea.

Was that you?

Sorry about your friend.

Well, you have bigger problems. Honestly, I never liked her.

In that case, you're welcome.

What, they don't pay you enough money at the bank?

- It was a hedge fund. - I don't care.

Your boss fucked my wife. My boss fucked me out of a job.

Okay. So you lost your job, and your...

your buddy, and your wife.

That's a... That's a pretty bad couple of years.

Yeah, well, I'm waiting for you to tell me just how bad it's gonna get.

- What were you gonna do with that ring? - I got a guy.

And your guy would've told you to fuck off.

This is not a Cartier necklace.

A ring like that gets really hot once it's been reported.

I figured Nick wouldn't notice for a while.

I think that you just wanted to take something that he loved.

Like he did to you.

I take it you knew about them.

Before me, I mean.

Let's just say you weren't the first person to walk in on them.

That's humiliating.

- For them? - For me.

Like I said, you have bigger problems.

So what are we doing here?

You would've called the cops already if you were going to. So...

I'm gonna keep your secret.

Thank you. I owe you.

And you're gonna keep mine.

I'm sorry. I don't know your secret.

It's the same as yours.

We're partners now.

Mel.

Hey, Ron.

- Marley. - How are our perfect grandkids?

Did you hear Tori won her tournament?

We did. We heard all about it. Congratulations.

We're so proud.

It's remarkable, really, how resilient she is.

You should come to her next match.

Invite us and we'll come.

Oh, I'm sorry. I assumed your son had invited you.

It's fine. Tori called afterwards and she sent me a picture.

Aw.

I told her she could always come by our place

if she needed a break from all the chaos.

What chaos?

She didn't mean chaos.

Pretty sure she did.

What chaos, Marley? You know something I don't know?

Well, I'm just not as close to it as you are.

No, you're not.

I think you forgot to grab the oatmeal.

She didn't mean any of that the way it sounded.

Oh, yes, she did.

I guess what I meant was she doesn't mean to be the way she is.

These people are assholes. There's no getting around that.

But you work in a profession

that attracts and breeds assholes as a matter of course.

And I know it sucks having to put on your suit

and go ask guys beneath your pay grade for a job,

but ultimately, you and I are in sales, Coop.

We sell ourselves.

You know what they say, "Trading sucks. Sales swallows."

Is there any way you could postpone this lecture?

I just ran into Harvey Ratner.

I will pay you to stop talking.

With what?

The Ratners are consolidating their operations, looking to put in a new CIO.

The Ratners? I'm not dead yet, am I?

I know. It's not ideal.

But right now, more than anything, we need you back in the game.

I just need to take a beat.

You're already taking a beat.

You can't take a beat from taking a beat.

Well, what are you worried about? I paid your bill.

Yes, with a brown bag of cash.

And don't think that isn't keeping me up at night.

I need you back at work, Coop.

You need you back at work.

I think what I need is a little hiatus.

Sure.

Or, and I'm just spitballing here,

maybe that will leave you well and truly fucked.

Now is not the time for a hiatus.

Now is the time for a solid, low level panic.

You heard Massey. God only knows how long this lawsuit will take.

Nice of you to join us.

Sorry, sorry. Jesus.

- Ten after. - Calm down.

You know the old timers already beat us to the first tee.

Sorry. I got waylaid by my fucking contractor.

You know, if the man could work as fast as he bills me,

we'd have been done months ago.

Our last renovation almost ended the marriage.

Are you married? I hadn't noticed.

- Fuck you. -

How far over budget are you?

You mean there's a budget? Someone should tell my wife.

Grace does have an eye.

Tell me about it.

Ooh. There it is.

Brad, did I hear you fired your housekeeper?

I had to. My Richard Mille got stolen.

How do you know she took it?

I don't, for sure. But she was the only one who had access.

Besides, she was getting way too comfortable.

It's a good excuse to, you know, bring in some new blood.

That watch is a serious piece of hardware.

Any chance it might be recovered?

Maybe if the cops gave a shit, which they don't.

The detective thinks I just misplaced it like...

...like I'm gonna misplace a quarter of a million dollar watch.

- - So you told the cops?

Yeah. I needed a police report for the insurance.

- Nice. - So you're covered?

Sure, uh, we'll get a fat check,

but it's a limited edition piece.

Irreplaceable.

Lisa has an uncle who works in the Diamond District

who can probably get it for you on the gray market.

You can ask her about it at Mel's birthday thing.

Gordy...

What? Guys, I'm invited. It's fine.

Seriously?

Yes.

You see?

- There you go, Barney. - There you go.

- -

Hey, do you have a copy of yesterday's NAR report?

Oh, yeah. Let me pull it up.

Just give me another minute here.

- Well, you on the other hand, my friend... - Next time...

- You. - ...you owe me.

- It's your turn. Yeah. - No.

I sent it over to you.

All right. We cover the tables at the bar, the dance floor over the pool.

So we'll do a whole indoor/outdoor thing with seating for 150.

What can we do about that? We had carpet moths. Don't ask.

- Okay. - Hey! Come on!

We gotta hit all four floors here.

I want a full permethrin spread. I want vinegar seals. The works.

Okay, we could do a flower wall.

Hide that whole section. Or we could build a board wrap of some kind.

What do you think, Notorious?

Why not both? More is more.

What do you know? More is more.

What's going on here?

Hey! It's the almost-birthday girl.

You weren't supposed to be home yet.

Melanie, Jane Reuven.

Reuven Catering and Events.

- Ah, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

- I told you I didn't want a party! - I know, but I don't--

- Sorry about that. There we go. Hey. - Hey, José.

Come on, Mom. You can't cancel now.

Nana and Pops are gonna be so disappointed.

You called my parents in Boca?

It was gonna be a surprise. I'm flying them out.

- My parents are not coming here. - What... Why not?

What? Come on, Mom. It's gonna be great.

- Mom? Mom? - Nana's totally not racist anymore.

Remember that Uber driver she told us about?

Mom? That's why I'm calling. That-- That is not happening.

- Uh, is this okay? - Oh, good. Okay. Go, go.

- She'll come around. - Okay.

Mmm. That's what my dad said.

I'm sorry about this. I think Nick and I just, um, had a miscommunication.

Well, I can tell you he is going all out for you.

I wish my husband would think more like him.

- Aw. - Oh.

How long have you two been married?

Lot of shopping bags in your closet.

Half of them are returns.

Oh, and Lily needed a new saddle and equipment for horseback riding.

What was wrong with her old saddle?

This one's for dressage.