Daddy Day Care

Good morning, daddy.

Hey, hey. Ben, how you doing, man?

Oh!

Oh, God.

Oh! Daddy's got to get ready for work.

Can't you stay home?

No. I got a big day at work today. Real big day.

Kim.

Where's my cell phone?

It's with my crayons.

It's not supposed to be with the crayons.

There you go, sweetie.

OK, now, where's my beeper? Has anybody seen my beeper?

Oh, here it is.

Right by the grape juice. I wonder how it got there.

Are those my note cards that I've been working all night on?

I've been up all night and now they're... now they're all sticky.

Sorry, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah..

Yeah, I'll see you later.

Oh, oh, don't forget about the orientation today.

The what?

Chapman academy? The preschool?

Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, right. OK.

Is there any way we could reschedule that?

Oh, you know, maybe we shouldn't reschedule that.

Maybe we should take care of business and be responsible parents.

Don't worry.

Don't be late.

I will not be late.

Promise?

I won't be late.

OK, see you later.

Hey, did he promise?

He sure did.

Hey, what's going on?

Your worst nightmare.

What?

Mr. broccoli's a no-show.

He got a call-back on a potato chip commercial.

These snack foods are killin' us!

Yeah, I know.

Marvin!

Yeah?

Marvin.

The guy who smells the mail?

Look, we need a guy to wear a broccoli suit, not a normal person.

Marvin, my man!

My friend, Marvin. Hey, man, what's goin' on today? Listen, I need a little favor.

We're having a little focus group in here,

and the guy who's supposed to wear broccoli suit, left.

I was wondering if you'd put the suit on and cover for us?

No.

Oh, I can't do the broccoli because it's just not me. Sorry.

Hey, can I be the carrot, though?

Yeah, yeah, you could be the carrot.

Let him try no. R carrot on.

Yeah, you can be the broccoli.

No, I don't want to be a bush.

It's not a bush, it's a stalk of broccoli. It's a strong stalk of broccoli.

Yeah, I'm pretty strong.

Yeah, you can make that work.

Go in here and go and switch this suit on, and get the broccoli.

Trust me on this. OK, let's go.

no, I don't want to.

Hello, boys and girls!

Zowie! Do we have a special treat for you today!

"Hey! We have a brand-new cereal!

You're the first kid..."

Help!

Ugh!

It's super yummy. And loaded...

Phil, help me, ahhh!

With all sorts of stuff that's good for you.

And do you know what we call it?

Veggie-o's!

This cereal sucks!

They're turning on us.

Give it a chance. Let it get in their mouth. They got to taste it.

No, no.

Take that!

Help me, Charlie!

Not in the face! Save yourself, carrot!

Call security now. Oh, sh... hey, oh, hey, stop that!

I guess we better go in, pooch.

Your daddy will come a little later.

Come here, let me see you.

Hey!

I am so sorry, baby. I am sorry.

Things got crazy at work. Hey, what's going on, man?

Look at this place. This is Princeton for preschoolers.

Let's just hurry up, so we won't be late for the orientation.

Hey, what's the orientation about?

It's a preschool, they're gonna be playing with blocks, right?

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

Language skills are a critical component here at Chapman.

They're part of our core curriculum.

You must be Charles.

Oh, please call me Charlie. Nice to meet you.

How do you do?

Hi! She's my wife, Kim.

Kimberly. I'm miss harridan, the headmistress.

And this is Ben.

Well, how do you do, Benjamin?

Oh, come on, little man.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Shall we begin?

Look at their little outfits. I like that.

They're cute.

We find uniforms reinforce the sense of structure.

Oh, yes, structure's good.

Our philosophy is that a child is like a climbing vine.

With structure to cling to, and the right gardener to tend them,

they'll grow to the sky.

Sorry.

So, Mrs. Hinton,

you're returning to work?

Lawyer, I believe your file said.

Uh, yeah, actually, I haven't practiced yet.

We just had Ben when I finished law school.

Still a little nervous about leaving him.

Oh, all mothers are. But you needn't worry.

Our little seedlings are in very good hands.

Turn the darn phone off.

It's off, it's off.

And attack!

Now mark your books, number 5.

Cat is to mouse as frog is to...

Are they doing S.A.T. Prep?

It's never too early to start.

Nest.

That's right. Nest.

I thought you turned your cell phone off.

It's not my cell phone, it's my 2-way.

Oh, no. This is bad.

Go ahead.

OK. Thank you, baby.

Um,

I am terribly sorry. I have an emergency at work, and I gotta get going.

I understand.

I'm sorry.

Hey, little man.

Daddy's got to get going, but I'm gonna see you later on, OK?

You want to do the rocket ship?

Yeah, come, let's do the rocket ship.

Sorry about all the noise.

Here you go. Go to mommy.

I'll see you later. Thank you for your time.

I'm so sorry. He's trying out a new product at work.

Hmm, well, no need to apologize.

Diligence always sets a fine example.

Oh, Jenny. Just in time.

Here's a copy of our curriculum

and a list of your financial obligations.

This is the price per year?

Per month.

You know, Ben is starting preschool today.

Oh, yeah, where at?

Over at that Chapman academy.

Ah, the marine corps of day care.

Max goes there.

Really? What do you think of that place?

It's not like you got much choice. You got harridan and her merry fembots,

you got idiot Von idiot and their school for children

who like accidents.

Fellows, fellows, numbers just came in for chocolatey chocolate balls.

Through the roof!

That's a big surprise. You hear that, Phil? Kids like chocolate.

Ice cream, too.

OK, sorry, I forgot I was talking to the granola-heads

from the natural food division.

Now, what was the stinker you guys got saddled with?

It's not a stinker. It's called veggie-o's, and it's the cereal of the future.

Right, veggie-blows. I thought they were killing that.

Jerry! Yo, Jerry!

Catch the numbers on the chocolatey chocolate balls?