Monsters at Work

"It's laughter we're after"?

That's the best college boy could come up with?

No, no, no.

I can do better. Okay. Okay.

How about, "Making kids laugh

"is the contractual responsibility of our staff"?

Ah? (CHUCKLES)

I got a better one for ya, four eyes. How about this?

"Laughter lights up your life

"like an oxyacetylene blowtorch with a multi-flame tip." Ow!

Thank you. You're welcome.

Mom, you didn't need to drive me. I could've walked.

I wanted to make sure your second day started better.

-I know, I get it. It's okay. Stop it. -Just hold on a second. Here we go.

-Stop! Mom... -That's my little baby behemoth.

I've got a plan. Comedy class on my lunch breaks,

and I'm gonna get on that Laugh Floor.

This whole crazy MIFT thing is just a temporary nightmare. Okay?

The Monsters Inc. Facilities Team?

They can't be as weird as you said they were.

-Mom, I... MIFTer! MIFTer!

What's that I hear? Oh, it's the call of the fledgling MIFTer.

-Oh, boy. What's up, MIFToid?

MIFTonian. MIFTied. MIFTerone.

-Yeah, we get it. -And who is this lovely lady?

Thank you. That's enough. We get it.

You didn't tell me you had a sister.

It's my mom.

-Enchanté, Tylor's very sister-like Mom. -(MILLIE GIGGLES)

Mama Tuskmon? So nice to meet you.

I'm Val, Tylor's old college buddy and new BFF.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-This is Val. This is Fritz. -Enchanté.

Everyone's met. We're good. And you know what?

Why don't I just see you guys inside?

Oh, you bet you're gonna see us inside.

Why are you blinking?

That was a wink

because of the subtext of what comes next inside.

Wink-wink.

MIFTer! MIFTer!

Okay, I'll admit it. They're weird.

Hey, guys, that thing out front just now with the winking and the blinking,

bird calls, the super weird vibe with my mom...

Hello?

Hello? Anybody?

MIFTer!

MIFTer!

MIFTer!

MIFTer!

Hello?

Young neophyte Handy of duct tape

Swift of repair I welcome you to MIFT

Yes, MIFT.

Since the day Monsters Incorporated was founded,

there was a need, a need for monsters behind the monsters.

The unsung heroes.

M-I-F-T.

If a part breaks, we fix it.

If a machine needs maintenance, we maintain it.

This elite squad of polished professionals,

each of them an expert in their fields.

They are the girdles...

-"Girdles"? -Girders.

-Griddles... -"Griddles"?

...upon which the factory stands.

And it's a very big factory.

Sorry, I'm not sure I...

But before we proceed, a few last words from our initiate.

Oh, oh.

This is an initiation ceremony.

Hey, guys, this is all just temporary. So...

-So you're leaving? -In a cardboard tube, most likely.

Just like Rodney after that hydraulic press incident.

Flat Rodney.

Coming through! Behold,

you will now signify your readiness for everlasting membership.

-"Everlasting"? Yeah!

Your first sacred tool.

Ah, that's where I left it.

-Tylor, I beseech you, wrench the nut. -Uh...

-Wrench the nut. Wrench the nut.

What kind of nut are we talking about? 'Cause I have an allergy.

Wrench the nut. -I don't...

No, no nuts. I don't want...

I want nothing to do with this nut.

Wrench the nut.

Okay, fine, fine, fine.

If it'll make you stop chanting, (SIGHS)

I'll wrench the nut.

Wrench the nut. Okay.

Wrench the nut. Wrench the nut.

-Uh... Wrench...

Uh-oh.

Good enough.

You have now endured the ordeal of the nut,

and you will cross over into MIFThood.

-I don't wanna cross anything. -Young tenderfoot,

cross through the door of eternal membership.

"Eternal." No, that sounds long.

Guided by the candle of infinite commitment

and be cleansed

-by the flames of no return! -"Flames"?

I love this part!

We used to use real flames.

Until Carl took a misstep to the right.

Lit up like the sun.

Catastrophic, yet beautiful.

This is crazy, okay? Your ceremony is crazy.

As long as we're throwing out crazy ideas,

I got one for you guys. I'm gonna leave.

You're on your way to a lifelong membership in MIFT.

-No! No! No! Do not feel unworthy!

Cross through the door!

Cross through the door! -I don't wanna do this.

No, no. No "door." No "cross." No! No "eternal."

Cross over and become...

One of us!

Oh, another power outage.

And just when it was getting good.

This keeps happening.

That's the second power outage today, Sulley.

All the jokesters we have are working multiple shifts.

You got this, Phlegm!

Thanks, Celia. (GROANS)

Another Laugh Canister filled. (SIGHS)

Have a seat. How you doing, champ?

Rinse! Swish!

I tell ya, you're a comedy tank. Comedy tank!

When it comes to humor, you throw no punch lines, Mr. Wazowski.

Spit! You throw no punch lines!

Now let's get you out there for the next round.

You've been at this 18 hours straight.

-You need to take a break. -Ah! "A break"?

Sulley, I am personally powering Monstropolis.

First place, second place... fourth place?

Uh, that Lanky and his spinning bowtie.

We'll see who gets the last laugh, Lanky.

Mike, you need to relax. Let the others handle it for a while.

I'm fine. I gotta keep the kids laughing.

I got a gift, Sulley.

You do not hide a gift like mine

from my tiny, adoring friends.

If you're gonna keep the kids laughing,

we'd better get you some coffee.

Okay.

Creamer, sugar.

Sugars. Creamers, stir sticks. No stir sticks.

Where is it?

There you go. That'll help.

Yeah, that's horrible.

Tastes like someone's finger.

Uh. That's weird.

Well, thanks, Sulley.

Wazowski! -(GASPS)

Better not fall asleep in your comedy class.

That's right. I'm teaching comedy class at lunch.

Mike, you can't keep going like this.

Actually, he can, Mr. Sullivan,

with a little something called 36 1/2 Hour Energy drink.

Yeah. Me and Needleman drink two of those

when we run out of our 73 Hour Energy drink.

It's twice as good as the 18 1/4 Hour Energy drink.

Yeah? I don't know.

Thirty-six-and-a-half hours sounds like a lot of energy for such a little...

Hmm. (SMACKS LIPS)

Wow.

And now, the moment you've been waiting for.

-Haven't been waiting. -Tylor, this is your desk.

-Lucky. -Isn't this your break table?

-This table... -Which is everybody's table.

...will double as your very own desk.

And what desk wouldn't be complete

-without your very own nameplate? -Yes!

-You get... -Complimentary Drooler Cooler.

Real drool in every drop.

-"I gift MIFT" coffee mug. That used to be mine.

-A picture of yourself. -And me.

Is this from a security camera?

-And last but not least... Not least.

...your ceremonial sacred wrench engraved...

-I engraved it. -...with the name of our newest member.

-Welcome, Tylor! -One of us!

I mean, you really shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.

I am not going to be here that long.

Oh. I like the sound of that.

-Do you like it, Roto? -(GROWLS)

Roto doesn't trust it. Therefore, I don't trust it.

-(GROWLS) -Oh. Oh. Uh...

Is he even allowed to have pets at work?

"Pet"? He's my emotional support animal.

Aren't you, Roto? (KISSES)

It's a medical condition.

Now, you wait here, Tylor, 'cause we have one more surprise.

-You're gonna love it. L-U-C-K-Y.

Uh-huh. Meanwhile, I'll get ol' young Tylor here

set up with some canister refurbishments.

All right, pretty boy. Here's a type A-188 series B canister.