The Flintstones

When the saints come marchin'in

Oh, when the saints come marchin'in

Yeah, I want to be in that number

When the saints come marchin'in

Gentlemen, I now declare this meeting...

of the Loyal Order of Dinosaurs adjourned.

Motion seconded.

- All in favor, say "aye." - Aye!

- Good meeting tonight, Barney? - Yeah, Fred.

We're all set for our annual benefit show next week.

Yeah. There's one thing that bothers me, Barney.

- What's that, Fred? - We're all supposed to do a solo act, right?

- Right. - And every year I get up and sing, right?

If you wanna call it that.

This year I'd like to do something different.

Your singing is different, Fred.

Funny. Very funny.

And what are you gonna do, funnyman?

- Crack jokes? - No, but I'll think of something.

I don't get it.

A no-talent guy like you isn't worried, and I am.

I got something up my sleeve.

The only thing you got up your sleeve is your arm.

You're sore because I have an idea and you haven't.

Oh, yeah? I'll figure out an act that's better than yours.

Could be, Fred, could be. Good night.

"Could be, Fred, could be."

I don't know why I stay friends with that guy.

Come on, Fred. You've been brooding about that show for two days now.

Why don't you just sing a song and let it go at that?

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Fellas will probably be disappointed if I don't.

After all, Wilma, you know I used to sing with a band...

- before I married you. - Before I married you.

Yes, I know, Fred. You've told me a thousand times...

that you sang with the Rockville Center high school band 20 years ago.

I can still hit the old high notes. Listen.

Do-re- mi-fa-so-la-ti-do

Fred, stop it!

Take that sea-lion voice of yours out of the house. Out!

Women.

No musical appreciation at all.

- Hi, Fred. What's new? - Nothing new. Same old trouble.

Wilma won't let me sing in the house.

You got a pretty loud voice, Fred. Can't say I blame her.

Barney, what are you doing?

I'm practicing my trampoline act...

for the show.

How do you like it, Fred?

Say, that's all right.

- How about letting me try it? - Hold it, Fred. Don't jump off the fence.

No, no, wait!

Fred, you okay?

I'm getting back on that thing and master it.

Attaboy, Fred. Now you got the hang of it.

These trampolines are all right.

Do me a favor, Barney.

- Let me borrow it for a while. - Borrow it? What for?

I'm supposed to meet Wilma at her dressmaker's shop.

It's up on the second floor, and just for a laugh...

I'd like to bounce in on her.

I'll bring it right back.

Okay, Fred. But bring it right back.

Oh, boy. Won't Wilma be surprised when she sees me in the window.

This is my latest creation, Wilma. How do you like it?

- It's just gorgeous. - It is genuine spotted leopard.

- Shall I have Zsa-Zsa model it for you? - Yes. Do you mind, Zsa-Zsa?

Not at all, madam. It will only take me a minute to change and I will be right out.

There's a man at the window. Call the police!

A man? Lmpossible.

- But we are on the second floor. - Just a minute. I'll take a look.

Boy, how embarrassing.

I can't stop bouncing.

Just as I thought. There's no man at the window.

It's just your imagination.

Hiya, Wilma.

Of all the dumb tricks you've ever pulled...

that trampoline business takes the cake.

I've never been so humiliated.

And when I had to explain that you were just trying to be funny...

I could have frozen to death from the cold stares I got.

Fred, are you listening to me?

Oh, that man.

Fred Flintstone, I'm talking to you.

What in the world are you doing?

And where did you get all that junk?

Junk?

"Junk," she says.

This junk, as you call it...

happens to belong to the world's greatest magician:

Rockstone the Great.

- Does that ring a bell? - No.

But if you don't get that junk out of the house, I'll wring your neck.

For your information, Mr. Rockstone loaned me this equipment...

and I am going to do a magic act for the annual show.

But you don't know anything about magic.

Oh, no? Watch.

- You see this egg, Wilma? - Of course I see it.

Okay, now you see it.

And now you don't. Where is it, Wilma?

Right here, Fred.

Very droll.

Watch this, Wilma, the hand is quicker than the eye.

Fred, don't you dare pull that tablecloth.

That does it. The hand is quicker than the eye?

- Now get that junk out of here. - Okay, Wilma.

Come in.

- Hello, Fred. Anything wrong? - We heard a crash.

- What happened, Wilma? - Nothing serious, Betty. Come on in.

- What's Fred doing with the funny hat? - Trying to be funny.

What's this thing, Fred?

That, Barney, is part of my magic act...

which, by special request...

I am not going to do.

- What's it supposed to be? - That is a disappearing cabinet.

Anyone goes in there, I make them disappear.

- Like your disappearing egg? - Okay, laugh.

I'll show you it'll work. Get in the cabinet, Barney.

Who me?

I'm afraid of the dark.

- Show me, Fred. I'll get in the cabinet. - Me, too, just for laughs.

Okay, girls. I'm gonna shut the door now. You all set?

Go ahead, Fred. We're ready.

Now, let's see. What were those magic words again?

Look, Wilma. There's another door in the back of the cabinet.

Let's go along with the gag, Betty.

We'll sneak out and hide in the bedroom.

And Fred will think he made us disappear.

Quiet.

I got it, Barney.

Alakazam! Alakazoo!

You won't come back until I tell you to.

Now, we open the door.

Barney, look.

- They're gone. - It worked.

- They disappeared. - Gee, Fred, that's amazing.

- Now bring them back. - Bring them back?

- Now, Barney, let's not be too hasty. - What do you mean, Fred?

- They disappeared, right? - Right.

They can't come out till I say the magic word, right?

Right.

That could give us an evening out, and they'd never know about it.

Right?

What will we do, Fred? Go bowling, see a movie, the fights?

No, none of those things, Barney-boy.

I got a great idea. Something different.

Yeah? I'm listening.

We're gonna go to the Rockland Dance Hall.

The Rockland Dance Hall?

That is different.

Stand aside, Betty. I'll rock him good.

No, Wilma. Let them go. I got a better idea.

There ought to be one of these little boxes in every home.

It could replace the dog as man's best friend.

Yeah, you said it, Fred.

Let's go, Barney-boy.

They're gone.

And what's a better idea than hospitalizing them?

We'll go down to the Rockland Dance Hall and catch them red-handed.

Okay, then we'll hospitalize them.

Look, we'll dress up in the costumes we made for the annual lodge ball...

so they won't recognize us.

- Say, this is gonna be fun. - Right. Meet you in 10 minutes.

I don't know why I'm going to the dance hall, Fred. I can't dance.

Who said anything about dancing, Barney?

I wanna hear the band. Hot Lips Hannigan is playing there.

Hot Lips Hannigan! Oh, boy, I like him.

The sweetest music this side of Birdland.

You know something?