Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules

Seventh-grader.

Sounds a lot better than sixth-grader.

This is a Greg thing. l don't see why l had to come.

Because, Rodrick, this is a family event,

and like it or not, you're part of the Heffley family.

Yeah. That and we already paid for your ticket.

I'd Iike to give a warm welcome to Westmore seventh-graders!

A new year of school starting.

Hi!

Rowley! Greg!

Alakazam! Alaka-zoo-wee Mama!

What are you doing?

lt's a magic wand.

Do you want to see a trick?

Only if the trick is to make the thing disappear.

Just put it in your pocket!

You don't want to give away your best tricks in public.

So, how was your summer?

That sounds pretty rough.

The only good thing that happened

was l got rid of the Cheese Touch.

Who'd you give it to?

The new kid. Jeremy Pindle.

GlRLS: Cheese Touch!

Hey, guys! Anyone for pizza?

Hey! Thanks, Fregley.

You know,

l can't believe people leave perfectly good food just lying around.

l'll save that

for later.

Let's skate.

I'd Iike to give a shout out to Taylor Pringle!

Uh-oh, dork alert!

Happy birthday, Taylor! Five years young.

I hope your party's a blast.

Rowley, stop pulling me down!

Ho, ho, ho It's magic

You know

Who is that?

Her name is Holly Hills. She just moved here.

What grade is she in? Seventh.

She's an all-star soccer player,

has done professional modeling,

and was her sixth grade class president.

She moved here from Oregon because her father got a big promotion.

They drive a hybrid SUV,

live on the north side of town in a cul-de-sac near the park.

What? l googled her!

She's a picture of loveliness, is she not?

She's almost as pretty as my mom.

She's going to be very popular.

GlRL: Sit here! Sit here!

Please, everyone, sit down. We have our seats.

It's magic, you know

Never believe it's not so

Excuse me.

What?

l said, excuse me. You're blocking the exit.

Oh, sorry.

That's okay.

l'm Chirag Gupta. And l'm single.

Wow. My name is...

We know exactly who you are.

Holly Hills of 432 Embury Lane.

No, we don't know who you are.

We have no idea who you are.

Okay! Well, l think l'm going to go skating now.

Please congratulate your father on his promotion from me!

"We know exactly who you are"? You trying to scare her?

Does it really matter?

A girl like that is out of your league anyway, Gregory.

She's new. She isn't out of anyone's league yet.

She doesn't know the social pecking order.

lf there was ever a time for me to make a move,

it's now.

Hey, Greg!

Can you break a leg or something so we can leave?

RODRlCK: Oh! (LAUGHS)

That'll never happen. Not a chance.

There's no way that girl will ever talk to you.

Yeah, well, l just talked to her

and we'll probably skate later.

Really? Okay.

Well, you see that clock?

They play a slow song at the top of every hour for couples skate.

lf you're so confident, ask her to skate.

Maybe l will.

What you waiting for, wimp?

You the man!

Look, if we can get out to Holly

and be standing right next to her when the clock changes,

then l can ask her to skate and she'll have to say yes.

l don't know about that.

(lNDlSTlNCT HlP-HOP MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Oh, honey, hi!

Remember when we were young like this,

and we used to dance and go to parties, and things like that?

Whoo!

l'm going in. Cover me!

Girl you are to me all that a woman should be

And I dedicate my life...

All rockers and hardcore skaters off the rink,

unless you're looking for love.

It's time for couples skate.

l'm making my move.

Stop! Enough of that total lameness! Who's ready to rock? Yeah!

(HEAVY METAL ROCK SONG PLAYlNG)

Come on, let's get out of here. Come on.

What are we gonna do? Stay calm.

All we have to do is just stay here.

Whoa! Whoa!

Rowley! Hang on!

Greg Heffley!

This is your mother.

Everything is going to be okay.

Stay where you are, and your father is going to come rescue you.

I repeat, everything is going to be okay.

Okay, here he comes. Here comes Frank. I see him. He's on his way.

Dad! l know, l know.

Okay. All right, everyone, go back to skating!

You all right?

Hey, Romeo, how'd it go with the new girl?

Whoa!

You ruined my birthday!

You jerk!

Ow! Ow! That hurt!

Rodrick!

Here, catch!

Let me start by saying that having a brother is really overrated.

Rowley always says he wishes he had a brother,

and, boy, do l wish l could give him one of mine.

l've looked into it and, unfortunately, it's not legal,

l mean, Manny has been telling on me

ever since he was able to speak.

Bubby did it.

Bubby did it.

Greg!

And Rodrick is the king of laziness.

Except when it comes to torturing me.

My mom has started writing

an advice column for the local paper.

She wrote an article last week

about how your brothers will always be there for you.

Well, that's exactly what l'm afraid of.

Hey, Bubby.

Got to go, Mom. Later, Mom.

Yeah, see you, hon. Okay, okay, wait.

Hold on. Wait a second.

l need a moment for a family meeting.

Now, your father and l have been talking.

Things between you two have really gotten out of hand.

Can l just say...

You may not realize it now,

but having a brother is one of the most important relationships of your life.

l mean, one day you're gonna be Uncle Greg

and Uncle Rodrick to each other's kids.

That's important. So you need to get to know each other.

What? What?

You need to spend more time together. What?

So that's why l've come up with a new program

that's going to reward you for spending time together.

l'm calling it

"Mom Bucks."

You're paying us with fake money? Yeah.

Okay, now, for every hour that you spend together without fighting,

for example, let's say you give Greg a drum lesson,

you each earn a Mom Buck,

which you can then trade in for one real dollar.

Oh.

So, to start you off, l'm giving you each five Mom Bucks.

Now, if you're smart, you'll save up your Mom Bucks...

Can l cash out now?

Well, Rodrick, if you save...

But can l cash out?

Yes, but...

l want to cash out.

Frank? l know.

Uh... Okay. Yes, you can. All right.

Okay. All right, great. We should get going,

because you don't want to be late for school. All right?

Yeah, gotta go. Let's go. Okay, all right.