Otto no Chinpo ga Hairanai (My Husband Won't Fit / 夫のちんぽが入らない)

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

It's fine.

I'm okay.

I'm fine.

Hey, you all right?

My husband's penis won't fit.

Like I could ever say that.

Thank you, I'm okay.

Are you sure you're feeling okay?

You look a little pale.

Yes, I'm really okay. It's nothing serious.

I'm okay.

It's not a big deal.

It's fine.

It's fine.

But it really wasn't okay.

EPISODE 1

It all began when I moved into this apartment building

when I started university.

LIQUOR AND FOOD YAMAMOTO SUPERMARKET

Are you sure about this place?

We can find a nicer one.

It's okay, I like this place.

RECYCLE SHOP NEW FURNITURE OUTLET

What about this one?

Honey, we still need to buy so many other things.

We don't have much to spend.

She's going to use it every day.

She'll be using everything every day. And besides...

Haruka's starting school and Madoka has her training camp.

We can't just spend everything on Kumiko.

Okay, fine.

Just a little bit further.

Slowly.

Get ready to turn.

Okay.

Here we go.

Okay.

Let's set it down here.

Okay.

We bought you an expensive rice cooker, so you'd better use it.

I will.

You'll be gaining so much weight.

You have to watch what you eat.

Your father's side of the family tends to get chubby.

It's not like being skinny is everything.

Some chubby girls are cute, but I'm telling her because Kumiko won't be.

Kumiko, want me to put your shelves together?

I can do that on my own.

It's no trouble.

It's fine.

Just leave it, honey.

You won't change her mind.

Here.

I'll make a deposit at the end of every month.

Thank you.

Honey.

Bye.

Thank you.

It's really coming together.

What?

Yes.

Do you go to Koshin University too?

I'm a freshman.

I'm a sophomore.

I'll give you some of my old books they'll make you buy.

You can sell them when you're done at the book store in front of the school.

I bought them all there.

What program?

Education.

Me too!

Then you'll need this too.

I guess you have to spend a lot on books.

That's why you get them from other people.

EDUCATION AND SOCIAL STUDIES

Oh, I'm Kenichi Watanabe.

Oh.

I'm Kumiko Yamamoto.

So, Kumi?

It's the bottom of the fifth.

That was some good pitching.

Hanshin's adjustment was delayed

from an injured leg.

Kasai has eight hits.

Seriously, Hanshin?

They're terrible this year too.

And that's five hits.

You've got to play well from the exhibition matches,

or you're going to suck during the season.

Hanshin has lost to Yokohama.

The final score is six to zero.

Are university students supposed to be so unreserved like this?

There weren't any university students in my hometown,

so I don't know.

I've got some here.

Thank you.

I'm not used to having someone I just met be this intrusive.

Everyone in town knows each other,

so there wasn't anyone I'd never met.

Even if there was, they would be from out of town.

Bye.

What?

Never mind.

Bye.

Is there a grocery store nearby?

Well...

I was wondering where you usually do your shopping.

I'll take you tomorrow.

There we go!

Yes?

Ready?

The grocery store. Is this your trash?

FUTABA APARTMENT

You didn't have to rush.

Go change your shoes. I'll get the rest of the trash.

Okay.

Where do you think the other people are?

Other people?

You mean from the apartment?

They should be getting back soon.

I mean, there are only three others.

Even with so many rooms?

Nobody wants to live in a dump like that.

Then why do you live there?

Because I want to save my parents' money.

Me too.

Is it because they were against you leaving?

Or because you're poor?

A little of both.

But I really like my room.

Really?

Look at that.

Cactus.

There's way more than before.

Isn't it crazy?

Yes.

I didn't think you would actually come.

I mean, it's just shopping. It's not a big deal.

I've never been shopping with someone before.

What kind of life have you been leading?

YAMAMOTO SUPERMARKET

So, apparently, Tadashi Okazaki gave a ride to Sohsuke's wife.

So his wife is having an affair, too?

What do you mean, "too?"

Sohsuke goes to a Filipino bar.

Has a girl there he's given thousands to.

What?

He's still doing that crap?

I heard his grandfather is paying off his debt.

Tadashi is...

All they talk about are sordid rumors involving money and relationships.

I was embarrassed about growing up in the boonies.

Tell me where you grew up.

Is it really that embarrassing?

I'd rather not tell people.

What a weirdo.

Do you have some sort of dark past you don't want people to find out about?

What?

You know, like some sort of bloodbath killing spree?

No.

But it wouldn't be crazy if that did happen.

Really?

But it's a place where that didn't happen.

It's so big.

RECOMMENDED ITEMS

I saw these on TV.

Just how far in the boonies were you?

Did you not have a convenience store?

We didn't.

What about McDonald's?

We had one, but you had to go by car.

By car? Like an hour?

Forty minutes.

Seriously?

Then have you seen a traffic light before?

Of course we had traffic lights.

What about bears?

Did you have bears?

They didn't appear in town.

But they showed up nearby?

What about boars?

Enough with the questions.

Sorry, sorry.

What about monkeys?

We were that close?

Yeah, we took the long way there.

Here.

Bye then.

Wait. Where are you going?

When will you be back?

If I said anything like that,

he'll find out just how lame and boring I am.

Even making more food than usual

on the off-chance that he'll come around again

is also just so lame.

Hey, let's go.

Were you in bed already?

No.

Okay, meet me outside in five minutes.