Red Oaks

- What? No way. - Why not?

- Because he's a dick. - Barry is harmless,

and it's really good money.

I don't care.

How good?

$75 for, like, three hours of work,

which is way more than I make in a whole day at the club.

I don't know.

I just thought that you'd be more into the idea, you know?

I mean, you're the one who spent all last summer

saving up to buy a video camera

instead of a car like most guys.

Which I like, I really do...

not the part about you not having a car,

but the part about you not being like most guys.

I think this thing with Barry could be really good for you.

I mean, you are so smart, and you are so creative.

And who knows where it could lead, right?

Like, today, yes, weddings,

and tomorrow? Corporate events.

So just promise me that you'll talk to Barry about it.

Okay.

Thank you.

$2,800.

For this price we could have spent a week in Aruba.

- - Listen, you're alive.

I don't know how we're going to pay for it.

For your next heart attack, you can go to Aruba?

I'll tell you one way we could cut corners.

They're never not fighting. It's amazing.

- Important it is to me. - Come here, come here.

- I... - Come here.

- Seriously. - Give your old man a hand.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey, honey.

- Hi, Mr. Myers. - Hey.

Hey, who else is hungry for waffles, huh?

- Ignore him. - Waffles!

Not pancakes. Waffles.

You know, fine. Eat whatever you want.

Drop dead. See if I care.

Sweetheart, do me a favor.

When you get married, don't become a nag.

- - Come on.

- You okay? - Good. You good?

Yeah. I could have used two more days in the hospital.

That would have been a vacation.

That would have been nice.

All right, I'm havin' a good day today.

Nasser.

Skip.

Ah, Mr. Getty.

Nasser. Oh...

You're wasting your time with the ponies.

It's the stock market you should be playing.

- Oh? - Dow's taking off like a rocket.

Like the fucking space shuttle.

Nobody knows how high it's going to go.

Oh, it's going to break 1500 by year's end.

You mark my words.

You got any hot stock tips?

Uhh.

Three crack.

Don't you dare pick it up.

I'll never talk to you again.

- - That might be a blessing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, ladies, picture day.

Oh, we love picture day.

Who's going to be on the cover of this newsletter?

There's one way to get on the cover.

You got to show me a little skin.

I'm the mahjong maven.

Uh, but I'm going to be the cover girl.

Hey, hey, can I talk to you a minute?

Tick-tock.

Karen says you're looking

to hire someone to help video weddings.

And bar mitzvahs, the occasional bris.

Of course, those are just for starters.

I'm building my business.

I got a five year plan. Why do you ask?

Because I'm pretty good with a camcorder.

And I'm interested.

You got a reel?

Huh?

You got a reel of your work?

Uh, not really,

just a few old Super 8 films I made back in high school.

I've been talking to a guy who's in a band

about making a rock video,

but we haven't gotten around to doing it yet.

Well, get around to it,

and then you and I can parlay.

Capisce?

West?

Ooh. This is where the action is.

- Hiya, girls. - And I'm jokerless.

Mm. Now, that's a Caesar.

Ah, yes.

Bears and bulls,

the two strongest animals.

You invest?

A man would be a fool not to,

the way this market has taken off.

Mark my words, boychik. By the end of the year,

the Dow will have hit 1500 points,

and when that happens...

What happens?

I don't know.

But you can bet that whatever it is,

it'll be glorious.

Get a white wine spritzer.

Hey. I got to book a few hours with you later.

Excuse me?

6:00 at my home.

I assume you have some sort of transportation,

you got a skateboard, pogo stick, big boy bike.

Sure, yeah, I do, but, uh...

Okay, then. Terrific. There's the address.

Don't be late. We got to be done by 9,

and my associate's got to get back into the city.

Uh, Mr. Getty?

Sorry. I'm confused.

What exactly am I doing in your home?

We're going to watch "Falcon Crest"

and whack each other off.

We're playing doubles.

Do you have plans?

Just going to hang out with my girlfriend.

Well, now you're not. Make it up to her.

Heh. That putz.

My hearing aid battery must be going.

Of course, it sounded like he ordered a wine spritzer.

- He did. - Oh.

Was he recovering from a hysterectomy?

My name's Herb, by the way.

David.

David. Nice to meet you.

Shall we go for a drink?

- Sure. - Come on.

Ohh!

Nash.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Ah, enjoying the breakfast of champions, I see.

Do you want a bomb?

No, thank you.

I've got to teach a children's clinic.

Although I do have to teach a children's clinic.

No. I've got to teach a children's clinic.

Children are our future.

Mm-mm!

Yeah!

So what do you do when you're not teaching tennis?

I go to NYU.

Oh. What are you studying?

I haven't declared a major yet.

Mostly I've been taking accounting classes.

Why accounting?

Thanks. Well, my dad says

the only two things in life that are certain

are death and taxes,

so if I want job security,

I should become a mortician or a CPA.

He's not wrong.

I don't know. I just wish

my accounting classes didn't put me to sleep.

You know what my dad wanted me to be?

What?

A proctologist.

What did you end up becoming?

A proctologist.

I hated every day of it.

I couldn't wait to retire.

I longed for the day

when I could stop staring up assholes.

Hey, Misty.

Hey.

I have a question to ask you.

Okay.

What are you doing at 5:45?

I'm getting off work.

Would you like to meet me

at the golf cart parking garage?

I have a little surprise planned.

What is it?

That's for me to know and for you to find out.

Man: There you go.

Getty: Almost prompt.

Hey. This is a beautiful place.

Yeah.

What are you... Are you wearing a club shirt?

Uh, yeah. Well, I came straight from work.

Did you bring a change of clothes?

I did.

Well, go put them on in the pool house.

And hurry up 'cause they're going to be here any second.

Okay.

Don't fuck up the grass!

Can you lift that?

A little higher. Good boy.

I'm sorry. Uh, you're, uh...