The Simpsons

D'oh!

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Power's out.

Oh, your father must be sleeping on his side again.

From downtown!

And it counts!

Think he's okay?

Eh...

Thank you.

Just drink some water, you're all right.

Oh, yeah, you don't want to go to the hospital

at 5:00 on a Friday.

Whoo-hoo!

Thank God it's TGIF!

Attention, wage worms.

It's time for afternoon announcements.

This Monday, the plant will be conducting

physical examinations of all employees.

And anyone testing positive for narcotics

will be terminated immediately!

Bad news, Lang-Soo.

Some casual Friday this is.

You're outta here, drug-o.

And don't forget, federal law mandates

that we consider alcohol a drug.

D'oh...!

I told them to make these track d'oh-proof!

Homie! You're home early!

Well, I didn't feel like going to Moe's today.

Thought I might hang out here for as long as I could take it.

Company physical coming up, huh?

Yeah, but a weekend without drinking is no big deal.

I did it when I was in that alcohol-induced coma.

So, what's on the agenda?

Well, we're having brunch with my sisters.

You're hosting my Preteen Braves meeting.

And we're gonna make dreamcatchers

out of litter we pick up.

you promised to help me write a iku.

Why did I do that?

It sounds so dull and boring.

What was I thinking?

Thank you! Huh?!

And you and I were going to study

the municipal voter's guide.

What the...?

Section 1 of Article 21 of the State Constitution

is amended to read: Section 1.

In the year following the year in which the national census

is taken under the direction of Congress

at the beginning of each decade, the Legislature shall adjust

the boundary lines of Congressional, State Senate

and Assembly districts--

Liquor, mustn't think of liquor...

Hey, there! What's cookin'?

Come on, boy, crack my seal

and drink your father.

Owwww!

Wait a minute-- that feels good.

Mm!

So, a sober weekend hasn't been that hard.

Let me just take a few antidepressants here.

I feel sorry for people without willpower.

I truly do.

Homie, what are you drinking?

A surprisingly not-horrible fruit drink called a mimosa.

There's champagne in those!

Then there's champagne in me!

Oh, what am I gonna do?

It's less than 24 hours till my drug test!

Maybe I can sweat it out.

Oh, man, I'd better have some coffee and iced tea.

No! Irish and Long Island!

What about this lemonade?

Mike's Hard!

Then I better soak up the alcohol with some food!

Whoo! Cake! Rum cake!

Crepes! Suzette!

Cherries!

Whoo! Jubilee!

Wow, passed with flying colors!

I've sure earned this!

O, Lord, I have once again besotted

my liver with Thy fermented gifts.

If You can weasel me out of this physical,

I will blow Your mind by doing something

incredibly holy, at some point. Amen.

Now to mumble in a religious fashion.

Dear God, O, Lord, O, God, O, Lord...

O, Lord, O, God, O, Lord Almighty.

Hm...

your cells have been overexposed to gamma radiation.

Like the Hulk?

Well, sort of like the Hulk.

But instead of getting powerful,

you're going to get very, very sick.

Hulk smash...

Yes, Hulk smash.

Mr. Burns, you are liable

for thousands of dollars per employee,

not to mention my extensive fees which...

This trapdoor app works like a charm.

Excellent.

You'll still have to pay!

This is the last time I pay the price

for the irritating mortality of the human worker.

Smithers, it's time to re-staff with

the super-intelligent kangaroos we've been breeding!

I'm sorry, sir,

but they just filled their pouches

with office supplies and hopped away.

Even the joeys?

You know, sir, there is a more high-tech solution.

More high-tech than kangaroos?

Ladies and gentlemen,

meet the future masters of the human race.

Comicon nerds!

You fool! These are robots!

You will train them

and they will replace you.

I give you permission to shake your fists in anger twice.

I didn't say, Monty Says.

Now I have cause to terminate.

This is crap.

Now get out. You didn't say Monty Says.

This is no game!

Excellent.

Sir, I'm afraid we do need to keep one human worker--

to sign for packages, a scapegoat for meltdowns,

things that would be a waste of the robots' time.

So we need one meat sock on the payroll.

But who? Mr. Burns, before I leave,

I got a few things to get off my chest.

One, I liked the new microwave in the break room.

Just push "popcorn," you don't have to know how long.

Two, replacing us with robots is heartless and despicable.

Three, how about a farewell party with a caricature artist?

You know, it's something both kids and adults can enjoy.

So, to sum up: nicely done,

we hate you, and food for thought.

Simpson, wait!

As it turns out, there is one job available.

But be forewarned, it promises naught

but soul-crushing boredom.

Does the chair go back like this?

Yes.

Whoo-hoo!

Well, looks like we've found this plant's

one remaining worker of bone and sinew.

Sir, I believe there are two, including yours truly.

It's one, excluding mine falsely!

Well, surely no robot can replace me.

Oh!

Mmm!

I can do that.

What about this?

Nice parking, idiot.

So, uh, you guys are my new coworkers.

So, workin' hard or hardly workin'?

I said, workin' hard or hardly workin'?

Workin' hard or hardly working?!

Working hard or hardly working?!

It's a simple question!

Are you A.) Working hard

or B.) Ow!

I guess I just met the joker of the group.

Better watch out for you on April Fool's, am I right?

I said, am I right?

Am I...

So, you guys have any luck finding a new job?

Does it look like I've got a job? No, I didn't.

Homer, show a little more sensitivity

around these jobless washouts, eh?

Hey, I gotta tell ya, I'm miserable there.

I'm all alone, and when there's some problem

due to human error, guess who gets blamed?

Hey, Homer, you know what I'm playing for ya?

The world's smallest violin.

And now I got to sell it, just to make my rent!

Oh, my God! Where's the bow?

I can't sell it without the bow!

Easy, easy there, Lenny.

You can always play it pizzicato.

The buyer clearly specified violin and bow!

Um, maybe I should be heading home.

Oh, no!

He stepped on the bow!

Boy, this place has gotten so grim.

I'm gonna do something I've never done:

Make myself a drink.

Ugh! You call this beer?

It's watered-down swill!

Oh, you got a problem?

Well, here's the complaint department.

You know what I think, Moe? I think you ain't got the guts!

Ha! Missed, ya son-of-a...

When you do chair gondola all by yourself,

it almost seems stupid.

Ah, here it is--

Hydraulic systems flush...