Divorce

Our 16-year-old son, Tom, has recently

become sexually active.

- Oh hi, Robert. - Ah!

Ella said that you went over there

and told her to stay away from your son.

She is my daughter.

I don't know. Maybe I am better off on my own.

We were here all night working and then

we figured we might as well stay and watch the sun rise.

Like a cute little indie movie the two of you.

Hey, Frances, how's Andrew doing?

He's not a boyfriend. We are just casual.

- Mom? - Oh my god.

It was nice meeting you.

Maybe next time you'll have your fly up.

I'm not very good at letting someone into my life.

I really like you, Robbie.

I like you too.

This thing... it's not so bad, is it?

Not so bad at all.

Wow, dating since high school.

That's kind of amazing. Thank you.

Well, we broke up for a few years in there.

- Well, sure. - We both had some growing up to do.

'Course, her version of growing up

was sleeping with our contractor.

Well, that's awful.

Yeah. I should have seen it coming.

That's kind of an awkward skeleton to bring up

in the middle of a cocktail party.

- I've heard worse. - What about you?

What was the nail in your marriage?

you know... we grew apart.

Typical story.

- Hmm. - Shall we browse?

$60,000?

Jesus, that's a lot of money

for some dead socialite's hairbrush.

Okay.

- Oh, God. - Oh, no, no, no.

Listen, Astrid Mayberry was one of the original...

New York City socialites.

The real deal with a very famous art collection.

So what you're seeing here today

are, like, perfect little pieces of history.

Now this... see, this is cool right here.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, 11... 11:00.

Look, look, look, look, look, look, look.

Skip, Skip Zakarian.

- Yeah, that's the big... - You know him?

- The gallery owner guy, right? - Yeah.

Okay. All right.

Time for some, um...

- Shameless self-promotion. - Get in there.

All right, look away. This will not be pretty.

- Wow, it's exquisite. - Mm-hmm.

The brass with those rubies.

- Edw... is it Edwardian? - Definitely.

If I had to guess, I'd say it was Imperial Russian.

Oh, yeah.

Mr... Mr. Zakarian?

Hi, I've... I've wanted to meet you

for a very, very long time.

I'm Frances Everdell.

- It's Skip. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

I can just, very quickly, just share with you.

When I was... when I was 25,

I had a sort of quarter-life crisis.

I know, it's very silly,

but I wandered into your gallery

when it was teeny-tiny on Broome Street,

and I just felt like I could breathe again.

- So, thank you. - Thank you.

You realize that space is now a Forever 21.

Oh. God, poor SoHo.

Anyway, I now own a small gallery with contemporary work,

and we are having an opening on Thursday, and...

if your schedule allowed, I would be so honored...

Thursday I have a board meeting for the Whitney.

It should only take six to eight hours.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the auction preview will close in five minutes.

Please take your seats in the main gallery.

- Good luck in there. - Oh, thank you.

You, too. You, too. And bye-bye.

We have to close the sale today.

We are so close.

- What's that smell? - Apple pie.

The smell drives the price up 7-10%.

No, no, no, no, no. Back away from the pie.

Over here. Bring your nostrils into this corridor.

It's like right in here.

There's like a...

a stink stream right through here.

- Got that? - Oh.

Oh, shit, what is that?

Yeah, the stink is intensifying up here.

Oh, man.

Okay, found it.

- Whew. - Oh, God!

- What is that? - It's either a bloated raccoon

or the neighbor's cat.

Either way, it's deceased.

Shit. Okay, look.

You deal with the buyer,

I'll dispose of the dead body.

Okay. Let's do this.

I keep Febreze in my trunk.

All right.

- Coming! - All right, motherfucker.

Hi, Katie. Welcome back. Come on in.

And you brought your mom.

Hi, I'm Jackie. It's lovely to meet you.

- Nice to meet you. - Come on in.

"Girls in a Field" goes for $170,000.

Too rich for my blood.

The next piece is item number 152.

One of Ms. Mayberry's most cherished pieces.

A one-of-a-kind magnifying glass

dated 1910 Imperial Russia.

Brass with turquoise, rubies, and crystal inlay.

Sylvia would love that.

All right, here goes nothing.

And we start the bidding at $750.

- Yes! - I see $750.

Do I see $1,500?

I see $1,500. Do I see $2,000?

Well, I'm out.

Yeah, of course.

- Thanks a lot, Skip. - $2,000.

How about $2,500?

- What are you doing? - I'm bidding.

- I see $2,500. $3,000? - You're insane. What are you doing?

Do I see $3,000? $3,000?

- I see $3,000. - Wow.

How about $3,500?

$3,500? Anyone?

- For a brass with rubies... - Do not, do not, do not.

going... gone.

And the magnifying glass goes for $3,000.

Fuck. What are you grinning at, dumbass?

And is this the master bedroom down here?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, Mama.

Who's running this tour?

Me. Actually, why don't we come look in the guest room?

There's beautiful lighting this time of day.

Come on. There we go.

And last, but not least, the master bathroom.

Hello, sorry I'm late.

- Oh. Hi. - Robert DuFresne.

Nice to see you. Hello.

I'm glad you made it.

Look at this gorgeous bathroom.

Yeah, I wish I could take credit for it.

- Take it easy! - Thank you so much.

Thank you!

Thank you.

- Oh, my God, we did it. - Yeah.

35 over asking. Boom, sold.

Mwah!

- We are so good at this. - Yeah.

What, you mean disposing dead animals?

No, ha.

Flipping houses.

Robbie, we should keep doing this.

We should team up. What do you think? Huh?

Wait. Wait, wait. We're already teamed up.

We just sold three in a row

with the help of a third-party raccoon.

No, we should, I mean, officially do business.

I buy the houses and you design and renovate,

and we turn a tidy profit.

Oh, my God. Yes. What do you say?

Are you kind of, like, scared,

but also a teeny bit excited?

- Come on. Put them up. - Hmm.

- Put them up. - I don't know.

What you're doing is really annoying, so.

But, uh... I don't know.

Hate to say it, but I do like it.

Oh, we have to give Rocky a proper burial.

I feel very strongly about that.

- We? - Yeah, you.

What, me?

We're gonna... I'm gonna bury the raccoon?

Meet the ball early, folks.

- Dallas! - Easy does it.

Pick up the balls and see you next week.

I meant to do that.

Yeah? Then great shot.

Well, I wish I had your serve.

Thanks. I've been working like a dog on it.

Um, you know, just an idea...

you wouldn't want to get an iced tea after this, would you?

Why? Did you have other questions about your membership?

No, no, just to, um, cool off, chat,

get to know each other, and...

Oh. Um, yeah, I would like that.

Um, I can't today, though.

- Can we do it next week? - Sure. Um...