Awkward.

My special day had veered off course

so many times I'd lost track.

Val hijacking graduation for her wedding? Okay.

My mother getting ordained online

so she could marry my guidance counselor

to some stuffed bear she met on a ski trip, why not?

The love of my life, who I thought

I had all summer with

telling me he's leaving?

I really needed some space.

Jenna Hamilton, Jenna Hamilton,

please report to my office. Just kidding.

Please report to me right now because you're my Maid of Honor.

Everyone, let's give it up for J-Town.

Sweetie, I know, it's so emotional.

I'm getting married.

You look so beautiful.

You know what? You look a little too beautiful.

You're gonna have to back it up, J-Town.

You're upstaging the bride.

That's good. Thank you.

Here we go. Thank you.

Dear friends,

we are gathered here today for... well, your graduation.

I'm so sorry.

Also to join this man

and this woman in holy cat-rimony.

I didn't know how to break it to you.

- Will you please go sit down? - If anyone can show cause why

these two people should not be joined,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

Can I just say one thing?

- No! -

Not you.

I knew Matty felt bad.

It's not like he planned this.

It was just bad timing.

Just when everything was coming together

in everyone else's world,

everything was unraveling in mine.

By the power vested in me by the online ministry

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Kiss!

Still, it was a time of new beginnings.

I had to find a way to be happy,

to take back control of my special day.

Get it, girls, get it!

And then suddenly something hit me.

Audience: Oh!

Well, something besides that.

It's like some weird force

was determined to keep me and Matty apart.

Maybe we hadn't tried hard enough.

Maybe we let too many obstacles get in the way.

Whatever it was, we had wasted way too much time,

which is what I was going to put a stop to.

- Hey, Matty. - Hey.

As soon as I could figure out where the hell he went.

Your speech was so inspiring, Sadie.

- I'm so proud of you. - Whatever.

You totally used your meanness for good.

It would have been nice if someone had been there

to share it with me.

Oh, like your mommy?

Who gives a crap about that old slunt?

I'm talking about Sergio.

Anyway, who cares?

It's no big deal.

- Come on, Tamara, let's go. - Just chillax.

I can't believe people are just leaving their programs.

I'm sure that everyone appreciates your devotion

to the school right to the end,

but you're taking some janitor's job away.

I did not spend hours of hard work on the program committee

just to have my work thrown out like an old Kleenex.

So, you're saving all of them?

Well, what else would I do with them?

Keep one and throw the rest away

like any normal, non-hoarding high school girl?

OMG, I am obsessed with "Hoarders."

Some people are bat crazy about throwing things away.

Give that back!

Old homework, three composition books,

an A-plus book report from freshman year?

You don't need any of this, Tamara.

Don't tell me what I don't need.

I worked really hard on those.

I am allowed to preserve and commemorate my accomplishments.

Now, give it back.

- Really? - Aww, my SAT pencil.

Give it back!

Hey, sweetie, where's Matty?

Are you excited about grad night?

Your last night of high school.

Last night of a lot of things.

Hey, take a spin on the Zipper for me.

I love the Zipper.

Ah yes, what memories the Zipper at grad night

holds for me, crying and vomiting as it spun around.

You rode the Zipper when you were pregnant with me?

Of course not, the lap bar wouldn't fit around me.

I managed to get sick just watching your father.

Hey, remember when it got stuck all the way up?

The only time any zipper in your orbit

has been stuck in the up position.

Jenna, look, I know this sucks,

- I know you're pissed... - We're gonna go.

But we've really got to talk.

Okay, so...

Hey, hey, hey, guys, listen.

Listen to me.

Listen, life is going to be full of challenges.

You're gonna have roads to travel and crosses to bear,

crumbs to brush

and hairballs to flush, but you're gonna make it, okay?

- 'Cause you're strong. - Thanks, right back at you.

Oh, never buy extended warranties.

Okay, time to go.

We've got a honeymoon to get to.

Oh, I'm sorry, am I keeping you from your base need

to sweep me off to my marriage bed

so I can perform conjugal duties?

Men are such animals, but man, once you get a taste for them?

Mmm.

- One more thing, J... - Val, honeymoon.

All right, all right, all right.

So can we talk?

Absolutely not.

We only have 24 hours left, Matty.

We're not gonna waste any of it talking.

We have an entire relationship to have tonight.

There were so many things I never got to do with Matty,

so I was determined to make up for lost time.

- Oh! - Ugh!

I wanted us to pack as many different experiences

as we could into our last night.

- Whoo hoo! - Aah!

Hoo hoo hoo ha!

Why are you still carrying that thing?

Because the locks on my car are Brokedown Palace,

and people are sketch.

Yeah, tweakers usually pass right over a stereo or an iPhone

so they can get their hands on some old pencils.

Why do you have to be such a Rude Boy by Rihanna?

Oh, come on. Hey, T, hey.

I'm sorry.

Everything's changing.

Adam's back at Twentynine Palms,

and he's getting ready to ship out.

I'm here, and I'm getting ready to ship out.

I was class president, Jake.

What if I'm never president of anything else ever again?

What if... what if this was it?

You have a whole new life ahead of you,

a whole new world of things to be obsessive and controlling

and OCD about and to excel at.

No way, red cups?

Who would have the balls?

[Wizardz of Oz's "Light It Up" plays]

Whoa.

Mama needs.

My treat. Come on.

Hey.

Oh, hold on to your allowance, Rosati.

Your money's no good here.

Oh, great, thanks. Why?

Look at you, dude.

- All downhill from here. - What?

Guys like you that wear letter jackets?

This is as good as it ever gets.

That jacket gets replaced with a cheap blazer and Dockers.

Middle management city.

Assuming you make it through some night classes

in community college.

So enjoy your last kegger on us.

They won't have these at LensCrafters.

I just love cotton candy so much.

I wish I could fill a whole room with it,

and you could just roll around in it.

It'd be so cushy, except, ew,

you'd probably get blue, sticky stuff everywhere.

Will you, for the love

of all that is holy in your simple little brain,

shut the up?

I'm just trying to take your mind

off of some of your misery and nastiness.

Why would you want to take me out of my comfort zone?

So that maybe when your night starts to get better,

you won't feel bad for being such a raving B-word to me.

What are you talking about?

Are you kidding me?

What are you doing here?

Trying to build some business

and thought you might want to see me.

You thought wrong.

This is a high school function.

You're not invited.

Shouldn't you have to have a permit or something?