Unfinished Business

Good morning. Dynamic Progressive Systems.

Please hold.

It's not a small thing. 5% is a lot.

If you've managed a household with kids and stuff... 5% is a lot.

You know what, Dan? Just walk with me.

No. I don't care if everyone hears us.

You really wanna do this here? You do?

I don't wanna be doing it at all, Chuck.

It's just that we had terms, and now you're changing those terms again.

We are restructuring the department salaries.

That's just the bottom line. That's the way it is.

I know it's not what you want to hear.

Dan, just walk with me.

- A little annoying. - What?

It's just a little annoying.

"Walk with me." You say that a lot.

It's stuff like that you say, you know.

That's why Brian Peters wrote "You're an asshole"

on your parking curb thing.

What the fuck, Dan?

I'm sorry.

Do you really wanna challenge me in public, Dan?

This was my best year.

I am an asshole, Dan, because I have to make

decisions to keep the company strong.

You make a living from this company.

You're replaceable, frankly.

If you were to leave, Dynamic would continue.

So, don't minimize my company's interests.

Now, if you would please, as I said before, walk with me.

We can discuss this in my office.

Chuck, just because you caught me...

which is, granted, a pretty big feat...

in a trust fall at the company retreat...

which you make us all go to...

and that I don't like, by the way, that nobody here really likes.

Nobody does. Right, Russell?

I like them. Russell is a team player.

Russell is a beaten-down dog.

You're Mr. Negative.

Are you making less?

I'm a sales manager, Dan.

You want a bigger slice of the pie, start your own company.

Oh, I've been thinking about it.

Everybody thinks about it...

but don't bitch when the people who actually do it...

pay themselves what they deserve.

I have been in airports for two days, preparing a deal for you.

I came in here just to get a bagel,

because I haven't had a meal since Tuesday.

And then, you tell me I'm gonna have to take 5% less this year?

I don't want new terms, Chuck.

I want to be able to see my kids sometimes.

The old "kid" card.

Strong.

I'm gonna do it.

Really?

You're gonna go up against me and Dynamic?

Yeah. I will see you in the field. You should look for me.

Because I'll be the guy in first who's happy.

I think you're better off for me than against me, Dan.

Well, I actually have my own ideas on how to do this job.

It doesn't involve any of that "trust fall" shit.

Okay. Game on.

Game on.

By the way, anyone here wanna join me?

There's a lot of great people here.

How about it? Come on.

Any of you guys wanna build a total starship with me?

"Starship"?

Yeah, I'm just riffing, here.

I wasn't planning on founding my own company here today...

but if anyone wants to play a key role...

in a new mineral sales company that does it the right way...

then walk through that door with me,

because there is a place for you.

Guys!

Men!

We're doing this.

Doing what?

Boarding the starship. Starting this new adventure together.

Uh, I'm just walking to my car.

Because I just got let go...

because of some mandatory age limit.

Oh.

Do you still wanna work?

Well, I'm just 67. Yeah!

I'm not the Crypt Keeper.

All right, great! Come work with me.

- We'll drop these guys. - Yeah!

Let's drop these pussies!

Right!

Look at us. We're standing here.

We're synergizing already.

I'm excited. Thank you.

How about you, young buck, huh?

- Are you starshipping with us? - Yeah.

What did you do at Dynamic?

Uh... Um... No. I don't work there.

You just walked out of there.

Well, I interviewed.

But you got a box with office belongings.

Yeah. I brought it to the interview to show confidence.

Do you have any sales experience?

Yes, I do.

- Great. - Yeah, Foot Locker.

And reasons for leaving?

I don't like feet.

But I do like people.

I'm good with people. It's for real, it's true.

- Do you work hard? - Yeah.

Like, what's "hard"?

The hardest.

Don't just say it because you think I want to hear it.

No, no, it's true. Whatever you need.

All right.

If you're willing to try, I'll turn you into an animal.

Hop in. Come on, young buck, we're doing it.

- I'm willing! - Let's go.

All right.

Let's hit Dunkin' Donuts, and we'll launch this thing.

Good.

I know we've had a little dry spell...

but I'm proud to announce that we got this deal.

Bill said, "Fly up, let's shake hands."

Fuck, yes!

Oh, excuse me.

I'm sorry about the "fuck."

I get to go on a trip?

Yeah.

Overnight?

Is this your first business trip, Mike?

Yeah.

You didn't have any Foot Locker business trips?

No. They would all just come to me.

Yeah. All right, we're going on a trip.

Will some things happen?

Like, explers?

- "Explers"? - Yeah.

Can you use it in a sentence?

"We're gonna go on a business trip and have explers."

"Exploits"?

Exploits.

No, there won't be any exploits. Just up and back.

I got too much stuff at home.

You can have them, after we close the deal.

Is it just us going up there, or are they bringing up a fluffer?

- Just us, free and clear. - What's a "fluffer"?

When a company wants to do a sweetheart deal

with a friend or something...

they generally pretend to negotiate

with another company, right to the end.

Just to make it look legit.

Well, this one's all ours.

Come on.

Tomorrow, we are going on a business trip.

Let's go close this thing.

Go get them, Dan.

I feel good about this one. You got a strong number set.

I appreciate that, Don.

You've been here since the beginning.

After we close this, we're gonna get an actual office.

Hey, Paul we need to talk.

I'm headed off to Portland.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to surprise you. Everything all right?

- I'm doing stuff. - That's cool.

Lookit, "doing stuff" is natural.

- Dad... - I used to "do stuff".

I used to "do stuff" three times a day. And I still "do stuff."

- Dad. - I don't "do stuff" as much as I used to...

because now I'm tired from doing other stuff.

But there's no crime, here.

There's not gonna be a trial. Nothing happened.

I don't even know what we were talking about.

When I was your age...

we used to get these magazines for my sisters...

- that would be like a lingerie or swimsuit... - No, that's not...

But now you go online, you see a clown fuck an alpaca.

I don't watch that, Dad.

It's not a big deal. It's just an easy thing.

I want you to get back to doing it, but you should do it in the bathroom...

because you can't lock this door.

And your sister could walk in and it's no good.

So, just do it somewhere else, okay?

- Yeah. - Just keep a lid on it.

Like a gentleman does. A gentleman goes. He celebrates his body.

You know that Walt Whitman poem, "Song of Myself"?

We don't need to talk about it anymore.

It's a song. Walt Whitman, he celebrates his body.

You're celebrating your body.

So, I don't think it's a big deal.

Okay.

I'm gonna be back tomorrow. I'm just going up for the handshake.

And when I come home...

you are gonna come out of this room for a little bit...

and me and you, just me and you, we're gonna hang out.

Okay, you're hugging me.

I don't know what's going on with your hands.

Get back to the computer.