Flaked

- - Fuck.

Oh, shit.

- Yeah, I did for a... -

Hey, um, it's Chip.

So, I must be doing something wrong 'cause I can't seem to get through to you.

Goddamn it.

- Hey, Chip. - Hey.

- Wasn't sure if you got my message. - How can I be of service?

Yeah, that... no, no, no. This is more of a real life problem.

Oh, you want to talk about the store?

Yeah, and about your friend who lives above the store.

- London? - Yes, London.

Hey! Don't stop! Keep going! Come on! Keep your back straight!

- Sorry. - Let's go!

You're, um... helping your buddy move, or...?

No, way, man. This is his gym. You've never heard of boxercising?

It's the best way to get symmetrical muscle definition.

And work experience, right?

- Let's go! - Oh, man.

- So, how well do you know her? - London? Yeah, I know her a little bit.

Do you know her well enough to ask her out?

Oh. It's actually kind of complicated.

No, I meant for me, not for you.

Right. You want me to ask her out for you.

Yeah.

What? You know I could float it by her. I can't make any promises.

Okay. Well, I should get back to this.

Yeah. I've got to get back to my store, so... Our store.

- Do I need to follow up on that? - No, no.

Don't even worry about it, brother. I talked to my guy.

- Things are looking good. - Good.

- So, then should he talk to my guy? - Oh, who's your guy?

- Well, me. I'm my guy. -

No, he's going to talk to me and I'm going to talk to you, okay?

We've still got a lot of numbers to look through.

Right. Good. Yeah.

That's what I'd do. Good business.

Fucking Cooler, man. He set us up.

This is...

Come on, Dennis. Come on, man. We're here. Let's just... Let's talk.

No, that's not going to cut it! Not this time, man.

- Whoo! - Whoa.

- Cooler, don't-don't... -

What's up, dudes? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Come on, man.

Wait, man!

Dude...

Why... just... let's...

When you think about it, guys, like...

The world right now, dude, it's just not going to be able to, like...

Look around! I mean, Venice is different, and you dudes are the same.

So, be dudes. Like, we're all dudes here.

- Well put, Cooler. - Thank you, man.

Like, you can't let a friendship die

just because of some random, like, hot

and really intellectually...

Her legs are amazing, but, like, you can't...

That's too cliché even for you two assjobs.

Who initiated?

- What? - Did you kiss her or did she kiss you?

- I don't know, man. - You were there, man.

Somebody made the first move. Was it you or her?

- It was a tie. -

See, that's what I'm talking about. You can't even give me a straight answer.

It was a tie, man. That's the truth. It is!

But I'm not going to lie to you. I wanted to do it. In the moment, I did,

but the second I did it, I knew it was wrong

and I came straight to you.

I didn't have to, but... I had to, you know? I value our friendship.

Yeah, well, friendship's supposed to be 50/50. Lately, it's more like 90/10.

Would you take 60/40 maybe?

- Not now, Cooler. - Cooler, shut the fuck up.

- I didn't know that you felt that way. -

Yeah, well, I do.

You know what? Lately, I feel a lot like I'm your...

- Wife? - Cooler!

- What the fuck? No, Cooler! - Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

You know, you wanted London from the very first moment I laid eyes on her,

and not only that,

you wanted me to absolve you of your guilt for going after her.

- Dennis, look... - No, man, you can't deny that.

There's no other way to interpret it.

- I guess I just... - What?

Nothing.

That's it.

I fucked up.

You are my friend.

I don't know, man.

We can just rally if you're... too sad to play a full game.

Oh, Jesus!

- What the fuck did you put in this? - Yeah, man.

Jesús...

Where's Miguel?

- - ¿Por qué?

Le puso la pistola a su primo.

Sounds like he got locked up for pulling a pistol on one of his homies. A cousin.

We need to talk to this cousin, see if we can get these charges dropped.

Yeah.

- -

Whoa.

So, the stuff in here is, like, super expensive, huh?

Yeah, yeah. Some of it is.

You got a bottle of that stuff in there, go for a thousand bucks easy.

Fuck. Well, don't give that shit to Uno. He's an asshole.

No, I wouldn't. It's not going anywhere. It's got a lot of sentimental value.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

What was her name?

- Celeste. - Celeste.

She sounds hot.

Yeah, yeah. No, that... that wasn't the problem.

Thanks.

- I owe you big time for this, Dennis. - Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. Happy to do it.

I mean, I don't know how or when I'm going to be able to pay you back...

No, no, no. Don't sweat it. Seriously, I'm glad I could be of service.

Chip would have never taken the time to do this.

Yeah, well, Chip's a complicated guy.

You don't have to stick up for him, Dennis.

I know. I'm not.

So, the other night, we had a fight.

What happened? Did you guys break up?

We got into it. It got ugly, I guess,

but we... we talked it out just now,

and I said what I needed to say and I was very direct.

Yeah, well, how did he lie himself out of that one?

Well, to his credit, he didn't.

Bastard actually copped to it. After I was done laying into him,

he just stood there and said that he was sorry,

like a little kid.

I kind of felt like a dick.

Yeah, well, no one says sorry better than a drunk.

They get so much practice, I guess.

Yeah.

Hey, man.

Hey, uh, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry

that, like, you and Dennis didn't... it didn't work out so well today.

- Yeah. Me, too. Me, too. - Yeah.

I mean, it's a shame that it didn't happen like "today" today.

- You want me out of here? - It's... dude, not like that.

It's just that I have people coming over from Save Venice

because I accidentally volunteered this place as, like, headquarters.

Otherwise, they'd be at Spikey's fucking Winnebago

and he falls asleep early.

- It's... - You know what? Can I... can we just...

- Do you mind? You know, out there. - Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.

Listen, man, um...

If it's space that you need, uh, you're free to use my store.

- Oh, shit. Really? - Yeah, man.

- That's... fucking awesome, man. Thanks. - Yeah, of course. No problem, man.

- Wow. - Okay?

- Okay. Yeah. - All right.

I'm just going to... I've got to use the...

Yeah.

You know, I've got to say, dude, that... that your kind offer

is now going to seem a little bit like I am ungrateful with this next part,

but please be advised that I already thought about what I'm going to say.

Right.

It's just... it's been really cool having you crash on my couch.

Dude, do not mention it. It's been helping me out too, so...

Awesome. Well, cool. Um, but, uh, I have bills to pay.

- You want me to pay rent? - No, no. God, no. Whoa. Absolutely not.

Just, like, incidentals, like toilet paper

or remote control batteries or, like, food, man.

Oh, dude. Food. Come on, you know that I'd never eat here.

I know, but, um...

the watermelon...

Watermelon?

Yeah.

That, man. That cost three bucks, Chip.

Is that the watermelon that was in your fridge?

- Yeah, and it's gone! - Yeah... because you ate it.

- No, I didn't. - You woke me up.

No. No, I would remember if I ate a watermelon, Chip.

It was the middle of the night, and there you were,

and you were beard deep in watermelon.

No, there's no way, dude.

You don't remember because you were so high.

You kept saying over and over again, "I am so high right now."

- I sleep-ate a whole watermelon? - Yeah.

And then, you polished off what was left in Chong's bowl.

And then, you were saying, "I can't believe that nobody's thought

of putting these two foods together."

- That together they constitute... - A super food delicacy!

Yeah, man. That is me!

Bro, that is me, dude. Yeah.

Your story checks out.

- You're a good friend to me, man. - Okay.

Whoa.

You really knocked the shit out of this thing, huh?

That's not the one I hit. This one.

Oh.

Look, this one's actually called "Dent." It seems like he should be paying you.

- Yeah. - Dennis.

- Yeah. -

- Dennis Robinson. - Yeah, that's me.

It's me, man.

Chris Flanders.

Oh, Flanders! Hey! Shit. Yeah, I thought that was you,

but with the mask...

So, you're "Uno" now?

- One and only. - Right.