Alias Jesse James

Out west where men were brave and bold the most exciting story told

is all about a stranger who lived a life of danger

and he loved that shining gold

Jesse James was his hame

let me tell you now before a guy could wink his eye

he'd Rob the stage as it went by

and just as sure as Hades he'd kiss the lovely ladies

and you ought to hear him sigh

Jesse James was his hame

Jesse James was his hame

oh, yeah, well, a trigger-happy guy was he

as fast as any guy could be

I'll lay you two to one, man

not another gunman

was half as fast as he

Jesse James was his hame

he made a lot of friends but there the story ends

'cause all good gunmen die

Jesse James was his name was his name

The wealth and might that is America today

is reflected in its farms, its factories, its banking institutions

and certainly in its various mammoth insurance companies.

These gigantic corporations owned by millions of stockholders and policy holders

have, since the beginning of our country, been an integral part of our life.

Untold thousands of Americans have received their educations

through the benefits of insurance policies.

Millions of American families have been raised partially, or entirely,

on a monthly check from their insurance company,

and the history of the expansion of these institutions could almost be

the history of the expansion of America itself.

But, vast as the resources and holdings of these mighty companies are today,

each is the result of great pioneering courage

and perseverance of these great founders.

And who deserves much of the credit for the evolution of these companies

from their simple beginnings into their present size?

It is no one but that almost forgotten,

hardworking door-to-door insurance salesman,

to whom we respectfully dedicate this picture.

The time is the early 1880s.

The place is New York City.

The occasion is a sales meeting of the employees

of the Plymouth rock insurance company.

Yes. Now, may I have the other charts, miss raskin?

Let's see how you other gentlemen have done.

Crimshaw. Oh, yes, yes.

You've done an admirable job, crimshaw.

You dipped a little there in may, but I see you bounced back up,

and you'll soon have a leg on the gold watch.

Yes.

Now...

Well. Hastings! You're right up there, aren't you?

You keep this up and you're well on your way to that free weekend at coney island.

Why, this is amazing.

On.

Farnsworth.

Farnsworth, when are you ever gonna sell a policy?

May I remind you, sir, that just two weeks ago,

I turned in a signed policy for a miss elfrida Bennett?

Which was rejected.

On a medical technicality.

Yes, a slight technicality.

When the doctor arrived to examine her, she was dead.

Well, we've got to get a faster doctor.

A 30-year endowment policy on a woman 98 years old.

Well, she lied about her age.

And much as I dislike tooting my own horn, sir,

I was solely responsible for the sale of Plymouth rock's first marine policy,

issued on the new schooner nantucket.

Please, please, don't remind me of that launching.

I can still see the bubbles.

How did I know the anchor was heavier than the boat?

Milford, I've given this a lot of thought,

and I think this company can get along very well without you.

Turn in your key to the washroom.

Well, can't I even have visiting privileges?

Farnsworth, I'm curious.

What do you expect to achieve with such crass ineptitude,

such utter incompetence, such colossal stupidity?

Well, I was hoping to become your assistant.

Sorry you couldn't get in yesterday, milford. We all missed your nickel.

Charlie, have you thought any more about that insurance?

Some other time.

Sullivan beat gentleman Jim? He hasn't a chance.

Yeah? That's what they said when they matched him up against paddy Ryan.

Well, you can see their legs clear up to the knees, I tell you.

Yeah? What'd you say they called themselves?

The Gibson girls.

Clear up to the knees. I tell you, it's enough to drive you mad.

If you're talking about the Kansas city bank, he got away with $25,000.

Jesse James wouldn't pull a gun out of his holster for 25,000. The bank said...

Pardon me, gentlemen,

the exact amount was $33,228.33.

That's Jesse James!

Whiskey.

Forget it. It's on the house.

Charlie, if you're going to buy any insurance,

today is the day. I've got to make a sale.

Later, milford. Later.

Charlie, there is no later with insurance.

You can't put off till tomorrow what may strike you today.

Please, milford, not now.

No, you're taking a lot of chances. You got a lot of money laying around here.

Milford...

I mean, cash for your payroll, cash for your customers, money in the till.

- This place is a gold mine. - Have another sandwich. No charge.

Now what's to prevent somebody from walking in here

and pressing the cold barrel of a .45 against your temple?

Very little.

Yeah, one shot and your wife is an orphan. But not with Plymouth rock insurance.

You can leave her 5,000, 10,000, anything you want.

And when your time comes, you'll find yourself slipping away

with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart.

You got to think about that. That's the way to go, you know.

You got to think.

Please. Watch out, kid.

- Charlie... - I wanna talk to you.

You'll have to excuse us, sir.

This is a private conversation between the two of us, if you don't mind.

You two may not finish.

I'm interested in slipping away with a smile on my lips

and a song in my heart. I'll have my drink over at the table here.

This may be a hot one.

You caught me just at the right time. I think I have one policy left.

Pleased to be of service to you, sir. My card.

What is a milford Farnsworth?

Oh, that's me. That's my name. I'm milford Farnsworth.

All right.

Oh, no. Whiskey is the weak man's crutch.

Now, we at Plymouth rock are honored to have been chosen by you, mister...

- James. Tj James. - Oh, yes.

I'd like to hear a little more about this insurance.

As I understand it, your company is willing to bet me on how long I'll live?

And they'll take the short end by betting I'll live a long time?

Yeah. I guess you could put it that way.

Well, if I'm dead, how do I know I'll get paid off?

My good man, the Plymouth rock insurance company

wouldn't be in business two minutes if they didn't make good on their policies.

Just so long as we understand each other. Now, who gets the money?

Well, your wife, your mother, whatever loved one you designate.

Well, then you take out your pencil and paper and start writing.

- The money goes to miss Cora Lee Collins. - Cora Lee Collins.

- Angel's rest, Missouri. - Angel's rest, Missouri.

- And what is her relationship to you? - Loved one.

I don't think the company has that classification.

Well, make it wife. She will be.

Now, how much money is your company prepared to put up?

Well, we're prepared to go as high as you want to go.

That's 1,000, 5,000, 10,000...

- Well, let's say 100,000. - Yeah, let's say that. Oh.

Well, how would you like to make the payments?

Would that be quarterly, or semi-annually?

- I'll pay it all now. - You'll pay it all...

No, no, you don't understand.

See, that's about $33,000.

100,000. That's the premium and I...

Yeah, well, just keep the change.

Yeah.

You just wait here and I'll run across the street to the doctor's

and arrange for your physical.

Don't you take any drinks or anything. You look fine just as you are.

Good morning, Mr. quesely. You remember me?

With deep horror.

I hope you haven't had the lock in the washroom changed,

because I'm gonna be around here for quite a while.

You have 30 seconds to leave before your beneficiaries cash in.

Mr. quesely. I sold a policy.

Ten seconds. And get that trash off my desk.

Mr. quesely, do you know what's in that bag?

It better be something you can defend yourself with, Farnsworth.

There's $33,000 in that bag.

Farnsworth, do you feel all right?

It represents the premium paid in full on an insurance policy of $100,000.

I suggest that this be counted and turned over to the auditor at once.

Here's the policy, if you'd like to look it over, sir.

Why certainly, sir. I mean, milford.

Yeah, let's see now.

"Mr. tj James, beneficiary miss Cora Lee Collins,"

"in the amount of"

"$100,000."

Well, who is this Mr. tj James, my boy?

Oh, he's quite an operator.

But what are his sources of income?

Well, naturally I didn't pry into any details.

- Naturally. - But I gathered from him

that he's well known in railroad and banking circles.

Well, this is too big to fool with. Better set up an appointment for his physical.

Oh, I'm afraid it's too late for that. Mr. James left last night on the train.

But I had doc bishop rush him through right away. Here's the medical.

I promised you'd send him a box of cigars.

Send them? I'll take them over myself.

Here's the morning paper, Mr. quesely.

Miss raskin, how many times have I told you not to interrupt me in conference?

And never, never when I'm with our star salesman, Mr. Farnsworth.

Just a minute, miss raskin.

How much have you been drawing a week, milford?

Oh, $7.50.

Raise that to $10. And do you have the $25 bonus

that I told you to draw for milford this morning? Good.

See that he gets it right away.

Now, farnsy, my boy,