The Book of Henry

People are decent, mostly.

I say mostly because

we all know there are some real pricks out there.

People are decent because they never forget how to reach out.

Now and then, they'll even surprise you.

But then again, sometimes they won't.

I wanna be remembered as the awesomest dodgeball player ever.

I wanna win an Olympic gold medal in dodgeball.

This will make the world a better place 'cause

I'll inspire other kids to be dodgeball champions.

And that's what I think about my legacy.

Good, Tommy. A little basic,

but some solid grammar and paragraph construction.

Well done.

Who wants to go next?

Henry? Huh?

Oh, yeah.

We can all talk about making our mark,

but isn't it just comfort food to stave off existential crisis?

I mean, in the end, Tommy, you're gonna realize that

dodgeball isn't even an Olympic sport.

But our legacy isn't what we write on our résumé

or how many commas we have in our bank account.

It's who we're lucky enough to have in our lives

and what we can leave them with.

The one thing we do know, we're here now.

So I say we do the best we can while we're on this side of the dirt.

And that's what I think about my legacy.

Henry.

Remind me again why we can't put you in a gifted school.

'Cause it's better for my psychosocial development

for me to interact with a peer group

in a normal school environment.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

And so that's 3,000 of TannenTech at 76 with a stop-loss at 70?

And, you know what? Give me ten Liffcom with Aluminad.

Uh, two and a quarter.

Okay, yeah. I think it'll work.

Oh, let's just say I had the benefit

of being born into a bull market.

Sorry I'm late.

Buckle up. Wrestle this backpack.

I really wish you'd get a new car.

It's not like you can't afford it or anything.

That isn't the point. And besides...

There's nothing wrong with the old car.

There's nothing wrong with the old car.

Why won't you let me help?

I only broke one of them. Over.

(OVER WALKIE-TALKIE) Which led to an electrical fire. Over.

Waffle irons are tricky. Over.

I just wish I could make something like you do.

Okay. Come on, then.

Okay, what do you wanna make?

A flying trampoline.

You might wanna start small.

Rocket boots.

Mmm, that's kind of hard, too.

Okay. You have to build in a fail-safe.

It's all about timing, setup, covering every contingency.

One little miscalculation, and the whole thing fails.

Like the waffle iron?

Waffle irons are tricky.

What if there are sharks?

Too shallow.

How about piranhas?

Indigenous to Africa.

Henry says South America.

Fine, South America.

But don't you worry,

if anything attacks you,

anything indigenous to our region,

I'll be in here in a flash.

Okay?

Oh, what the heck!

Okay.

You okay? Yep.

Call out the capitals.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

Easy.

Augusta, Maine.

Salem, Oregon.

Albany, New York.

Hey, Mom, what is this charge for $147.50 at Funtime Cove?

Uh, bouncy castle for Peter's birthday.

The one that smelled like feet.

Bismarck, North Carolina.

Isn't that one of the other Norths?

Tallahassee, Florida.

Did our financial statement come in the mail today?

Juneau, Alaska. Yeah, I forgot to give it to you.

You should really read it and know what it says.

Annapolis, Maryland. Wrong.

Right.

Cheyenne, Wyoming.

You know it doesn't actually help

when you lean into it like that.

Sure it does.

Look at that. Look at that!

"So he dyed his coat all the colors of the rainbow.

"Then the other squirrels were jealous and sorry

"because he looked punk rock awesome.

"And they learned that real coolness

"isn't about the color of your fur,

"it's about what you've got beneath it.

"The end."

So?

Um, it was well-told.

Hey!

You try writing and drawing something.

It's about something. It's a metaphor.

It seems someone hasn't grasped

the blue squirrel's moral of acceptance.

Young Engineer Award?

When did you get this one?

It's no big deal.

I'd be psyched if I won that.

I wouldn't just toss it in the corner.

You can have it.

Okay. Let's get your little tushies into bed.

You think I'm running a nightclub here?

Can we do movie night tomorrow?

Oh. I can't, hon, I've got the dinner shift.

Mom, I told you, you don't have to work anymore.

What do you mean, she doesn't have to work anymore?

Nothing.

I'm just saying, it's not necessary.

Just stay home and work on your storybooks.

Oh!

I'm sorry.

Are you sure?

Because... I mean, I don't wanna invade

your sense of personal space or anything...

Mom!

Good night.

On or off?

On. Off.

Open or closed?

Open. Closed.

Yikes, it's hot.

Hey, Mom? Yeah.

You double-click here... Easy!

It's expensive.

Then you download the bank statement directly into the program.

Who says you're not smart? No one.

Show me what I just taught you.

I'm not a child, Henry.

Show me.

Okay. That's enough.

Um, let's see.

You just deleted last month.

You're not doing that right.

What? Here, Mom.

Susan.

Oh, great. It's Glenn.

Mr. Sickleman.

Susan.

Hey.

I was wondering, would you mind keeping an eye on your lawn?

Your unraked leaves are blowing over to my property.

It's just hard to keep up.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll try.

Sorry, Glenn.

Hey, sweetie. Hi.

Come here.

Hey!

Look at you.

Hey.

Found this in the woods. (CHUCKLES)

Little cops in training, huh, boys?

Sorry, uh, to be a pain about the leaves.

I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but... No, no. It is. I... I get it.

Um, moving forward, I vow to mind my leaf distribution.

Appreciate it.

My future daughter-in-law.

Oh, God.

She's adorable.

But her stepfather...

Ugh!

Glenn?

Mr. Sickleman.

Late again.

Dog ate my car.

Table seven says their eggs are too wet, so have fun with that.

Hey, toots, how's tricks?

Oh, the Feds are all over me.

Had to move money into my Swiss bank account.

And the rates are terrible.

Tell me about it. When I won the lottery,

you should have seen the taxes.

$82,000,000 turned into $16,000,000. What am I gonna buy with that?

Hey, table seven is real.

You sell the castle yet?

Corsica, but I'm having a hard time unloading Monte Carlo.

My boobs are up here. Yeah, geez.

Miss? This isn't what I ordered.

Hey, Susan?

The new payroll gal ain't exactly the brightest.

She mailed your paycheck home