Lexx

Lexx 2.01 Mantrid

Many thousands of years ago, we were defeated by humans,

in the great Insect Wars.

Our human enemies thought,

they destroyed all insects,

but I escaped to live on.

I hid myself by burrowing deep into a small planetoid,

and there I waited.

Nothing but silicon.

Another complete waste of time.

They're all a complete waste of time as far as I'm concerned,

but they does the paying, so we does the drilling.

I wish something interesting would happen,

just this once.

Just something a little bit out of the ordinary.

OK, Rockhound, on the way down.

I think I might have found myself something interesting here.

Not typically geological...

Could be a sign of life.

What do you mean, a sign of life?

I don't know, but I'm curious to find out more.

Return home now, and we'll use the finger probe.

Rockhound, we sometimes follow the rules, remember??

Come home and we'll go remote.

Sorry, it's been too long since my brain was put to use.

I'm getting - I'm getting a very weird feeling.

There's too much electrical action, I'm outta here...

Hey, Rockhound, we're getting some interference. Are you all right?

Rockhound, we do not hear you.

I passed my essence, my soul, my intelligence,

my everything into a human host.

Rockhound, please talk to us.

Sorry. I was asleep, but I'm heading for the top now.

All the way. Here I go.

As the last surviving insect,

I knew that I would never be able to defeat the humans,

but if I possessed a human body,

I thought perhaps I could use humans to defeat themselves.

I became His Divine Shadow,

the most powerful ruler in the two universes.

My power over humanity grew,

as I passed my essence down through generation after generation

of human hosts.

My insect body also grew in strength,

fed by human flesh,

fed by human flesh gathered from 20,000 unsuspecting planets,

all unknowingly enslaved to their enemy.

But my order was destroyed by Kai, the last of the Brunnen G.

My prematurely reborn body was killed by the Lexx,

the most powerful weapon of destruction ever built.

Kai crushed the brain

of my last human host,

but he did not kill me, as I still live on.

But he does not know that I live - through him.

I've been thinking.

Lexx - there are all kinds of planets. There are planets with nice scenery,

planets with happy law-abiding citizens,

and planets with good rulers, and planets with intellectuals,

and planets with women who are...

you know - open-minded.

That's the kind of planet I want you to help me find.

Understand?

No, Stan - I do not understand

OK, OK, how about, er, women who are

available, does that mean anything to you?

No, it does not

OK, how about, er, frisky, loose, low moral standards, and...

Oh disgust! Oh horror! It touches my beloved!

Zev, it's Kai, he's up on his own.

Kai. You've reanimated yourself?

Yes. I am experiencing an unfamiliar sense of motivation.

That is a sign of life. You are not alive, are you?

No. I am still dead.

I am motivated to find more protoblood.

I thought the stuff we brought back from the Cluster,

was supposed to last you for ages.

The protoblood we have now will last me for a few days at best.

Then why are you walking around wasting it?

I must be animated, to find a new supply.

Protoblood came from the GigaShadow.

It may be possible to extract some from its offspring,

if we can locate one.

What offspring?

One of the Insect larvae

on the underside of the GigaShadow,

may have come loose when you destroyed the Cluster.

But that was back in the Light Universe,

this is the Dark Zone, and we can't go back,

because the fractal core was destroyed,

so how could we go, even if we wanted to?

Don't look at me, dead man in black.

I also feel no motivation -

except to jam circuits with creamy love pudding number one.

Direct question, number 790:

do you know any way we can get back into the Light Zone?

Answer!

The fractal core was simply a point

where the three physical dimensions of both universes intersect.

It does not have to by definition be the only such point of intersection.

I calculate that other pathways are in theory possible,

but the risk to your angelic life would be

I know the way.

The mass of this neutron star is very close to the balance,

required to connect the two universes.

Very close?

Yes. First we will let ourselves be drawn into the star's gravitational pull.

After that, and prior to the Lexx's molecular collapse,

there is a point when we must adjust

the mass of the neutron star, using Lexx's weapon.

Well, how do we find this point?

790 will calculate it.

With an unacceptable margin of error.

What is the margin of error?

Between 7 and 84% - 17 times out of 20.

I am turning the Lexx around right now.

No.

Doesn't giving Kai a chance to live mean anything to you,

Stanley Tweedle?

Well, yes, of course - but he's already been around

for 2000 years longer than he should,

and I want to live longer than the next few minutes,

and if we don't turn the Lexx around, like right now,

then I'm not 100% sure that I will.

20 times out of 20!

Stanley - I will do it with you,

if you take the Lexx back into the Light Zone.

Oh disgust! Zev, nothing is worth sinking that low.

Quiet, 790

You can have me, naked.

My smooth moist skin pressed tightly against yours

pressed tightly against yours...

Warming you up, heating you up,

raising your temperature,

until you are ready to explode...

Don't you want me wrapped around you Stanley?

Squeezing you, riding you like a big boy, until...

I am now inside the gravitational pull of the black star.

Lexx, I'm commanding you to turn around at once,

immediately, right now!

Too late, Stanley

The black star is much stronger than I am.

We are going faster and faster toward it.

Why didn't you tell me we were getting so close?

Why are you putting Zev in danger?

Zev's wish is my command.

Lexx, please, I'm begging you!

I am sorry Stanley. It's too late.

I cannot go back.

This better be the best sex of my life...

this better be the best sex in the history of the two universes!

I have obligation whatsoever.

I'm a witness.

You attempted to pull the Lexx back before the deal was completed.

You!..

Kai, how come you're suddenly so all motivated to find protoblood?

I thought you were dead, I thought you didn't experience motivation.

Something must have come over me...

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Fire, Lexx, fire now, give it everything you got!..

You better be on the button...!

I will always do my best for Zev.

I'm alive!

This is a good thing, this is definitely excellent!

That's a matter of perspective...

Lexx - where are we?

We are in a big space, Stan.

We are in the Light Universe, security guard class 4.

It's just rocks and Cluster chunks, millions of 'em!..

Do not underestimate the ability of the insects

to survive in difficult circumstances.

But how will we even see one, I mean, there's so much stuff out there

I suggest that we go out and take a closer look.

It will take time to complete a thorough search.

We must begin immediately.

You're just Mister Initiative these days, aren't ya?

Coming, Stanley?

No. Absolutely not.

Completely, totally stupid.

I'm gonna be sick.

The idea of bringing this insect,

that is dedicated to destroying all humanity,

onboard the Lexx makes me completely ill.

And I've got a right to say that,

because if you wanna be technical about it,

I am the only one on this entire bug ship,

that is 100% human.

You don't find it beautiful, Stanley?

No!

Strangely, I find it has an attractive quality.

It was His Shadow, and insect, who destroyed your people. who destroyed your people.

You should hate it, Kai

True, but perhaps that is also why I am drawn to it.

You're drawn to it because you need protoblood.

I do not normally respond to need.

Well, I do, I respond directly to need,

and I need to see this larva fired right back out into space!

and then blasted by the Lexx.

And if you don't respond to need - what exactly are we doing here?

I want us to be here.

I do not know why I feel this need.