Four Weddings and a Funeral

Previously on Four Weddings and a Funeral...

Fuck.

- I wanna be with you, Maya. - All I gotta do is tell her.

Hey, bitch. You ready for the best weekend of your life?

Yes, I'm on the red-eye tonight.

Please, I need my bag.

I took the wrong one off the carousel.

Have you ever had the feeling you've gone down the wrong path?

I feel like that literally every day.

You must be Maya.

My name's Gemma. I'm Ainsley's best friend.

I'm so excited!

- I'm gonna tell Maya tonight. - I feel like it's now or ever.

- You got this. - You liked her for ten years.

- Suitcase guy? - Hi.

Maya, this is my boyfriend, Kash.

- What's the deal? - Is he serious?

I mean, the last thing I wanna do is rush into anything.

Senator Ted Spencer has been in an extramarital affair.

Kaylee Haskins worked for Spencer as a dog walker.

- That's my daughter. - Her name is Molly.

Maya.

- Here you go. - Good luck.

Do you take this woman to be your wife?

I don't think I do.

I don't think I do.

- I don't. - You don't?

Well, maybe.

It has to be the actual words.

It's very clear about that in the manual.

Sorry, everyone.

I just need a minute. Uh, enjoy the church!

Excuse me.

Hey, what the hell is happening?

I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me.

You're just getting cold feet.

I was feeling it too.

- You were? - Yeah.

Last night, I went down this rabbit hole

of "Should we be getting married?

"Should anybody be getting married?

"Like, is it against human nature to just have sex with one person?

"Like, I never got to hook up with a Greek guy.

That could have been cool."

But then I was like, "Shut up, Ainsley.

You love him, and that is all that matters."

- Okay? - You're right.

So just tell yourself, "Shut up, Kash.

You love her."

- Yeah, shut up, Kash. - You...

- I'm sorry. - Oh, my God.

Okay, um, while we wait, maybe a song?

[Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" plays]

Stop, stop! Why would you play that?

Please don't do this to me.

Ains, I can't marry you.

- I'm sorry. - If you say "sorry" one more time...

Just tell me why!

- I don't know why. - Sorry.

- Ainsley! - Ainsley!

I hope there's still an open bar at the reception.

- Suits? - Donate.

- Cufflinks? - Donate.

What's a men's shelter going to do with cufflinks?

Oh, so the poor shouldn't care how their wrists look?

Oh, my God.

Look what I found in his pocket.

This is why he did it. He's a secret drug addict.

I'm pretty sure that's a breath mint.

Yes, darling, I think you're grasping.

Well, there has to be some reason why this happened.

We had the perfect relationship.

You don't just throw that away for nothing.

And if he would just call me and give me some kind

of explanation at least I would know this wasn't my fault.

Oh, sweetie.

- I have a brilliant idea. - It's Saturday.

Why don't we do game night like we always do?

I don't think Ainsley's ready to throw a party.

Actually, I would love that.

No, but I just... I have too much to do.

I have, like, 300 "thank-you-slash-sorry- I-didn't-get-married" notes,

and then I have to take everything back to Kash's dad's house...

- No, no, no, no, no, my sweet. - We'll do it.

I'll write the thank-you notes, seeing as I have

my Master's in calligraphy, and Maya will go to Hounslow.

- Of course. - Wait, to Kash's?

- I would take on both tasks. - Regrettably, I have but two arms.

It's better if it's you, Maya.

You barely knew him.

- I'll be back. - Where are you going?

Um, I'm just going for a quick run.

Now? But we have plans to whiten our teeth together.

I don't remember that.

Alexa, what's our schedule for today?

11:00 a. M., teeth-whitening with Craig.

1:00 p. M.: Go through Craig's wallet.

Thank you, Alexa.

Be back, babe.

- Duffy! - Duffy, hi!

Oh.

Hi, Tabby. Or should I say, "Bonjour"?

That's right, because I'm a French teacher.

- You remembered. - Yeah.

Are you planning on seeing the student production

of Angels in America?

Because I have a spare ticket for tonight.

Oh, wow, um, I would love that,

but I'm actually headed into town.

Yeah, my friends and I sort of do this game night

every other Saturday.

- That's sounds so much fun. - I love games.

- It is fun. - It's the... it's the best.

Maybe you and your friends should do something similar.

- True. - That's a great idea.

Yeah.

Uh, okay. Well, um, enjoy Angels in America.

Kashif, wake up.

Come on, lazy bones.

Get up.

- Kashif. - Baba, what?

- Good, you are awake. - We're out of milk.

- I need you to go get some. - Can Asif get it?

You have not been out of the house for a week.

You know, since your very public humiliation.

I remember what happened, Dad.

Have you even called Ainsley to apologize?

No.

She doesn't want an "I'm sorry,"

she wants an explanation,

and I don't know what to say to her.

Well, you can't hide here forever.

- I'm not hiding. - I'm processing.

And you can't do that at Tesco's?

Hey, Graham Norton, I can't sleep

with this chat show going on.

Come on, we also need laundry detergent, and you do all the laundry.

Fine, I'm going.

Hey, I'm heading to Hounslow.

Were you stalking Kash's Instagram?

Look at this caption from six months ago.

"Doesn't get better than this." What does that mean?

That everything that came after that trip

was a disappointment?

No, it means he's basic and bad

at writing Instagram captions.

Hey, stop torturing yourself.

That's easy for you to say.

At least you know why things ended with Ted.

Yeah, he cheated on me in a very public way.

You know what? You're right.

I am lucky. What a cool guy.

Do you have to leave on Monday or can you just stay forever?

No, I gotta get back and figure out my life.

Hmm.

Besides, if you're away from D. C. Too long,

Mike Pence turns your office into a chapel.

Okay, enough wallowing. I gotta go to work.

Hey, thanks for going to Kash's.

Mmm.

Come on, Molly. Your turn!

Molly, where you going?

- Molly, go back to the game. - Okay!

Julia!

Well, what are the chances of seeing you here?

'Cause I was at the park running,

you're here, I'm here...

Save it.

You've been watching the kids for forty minutes.

The other mums think you're a pedo.

Look, I'm sorry, but I had to see her.

Not here.

I'll message you where. Now go.

- Thief! - Ah!

Parcel thief!

You are the one who keeps stealing my Amazon boxes!

No, no, no, no. I'm Maya, Ainsley's friend from the wedding

or almost wedding.

I just brought back Kash's stuff.

Oh.

Of course. Thanks.

No, no, no, no. You must come in.

I just made French bread pizzas.

They come in a pack of four, and there are only three of us.

- I really can't. - Please.

For all the trouble you have taken to bring Kashif's things.

Yeah, I have a cab...

had.

Um, I'll call an Uber.

And you'll wait for it with a belly full of French bread pizza.

Come in.

Okay, only for a minute.

Oh, please.

Get up, boys, we have a visitor.

- Maya, hi. - Hi.

What are you doing here?

I brought your stuff from Ainsley's.

- Really? - Um, thank you.

I've been wearing the same shirt for a week.

Wait, where's the rest of it?