Baywatch

-WASN'T IT GREAT TO SEE EVERYBODY

AT THE LIFEGUARD GAMES LAST NIGHT?

AND MORE OF THE OLD GAME COMING TODAY.

-YOU SURE SAT OUT A LOT OF WAVES OUT THERE.

WHY THE HELL DO YOU EVEN BOTHER?

-HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN SURFING TOGETHER?

TWENTY YEARS.

TWENTY YEARS.

WELL, SEE, YOU STILL TAKE ANYTHING YOU CAN CATCH,

WHILE I INSIST ON RIDING ONLY THE PRIMA WAVES.

OH, PLEASE. PLEASE, SPARE ME,

NOT THE "WAVE CONNOISSEUR" SPEECH.

YES, WHEN WE SURF TOGETHER, IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY

TO GIVE YOU THE SPEECH.

OUCH. NICE.

THE CAR OR THE GIRL?

BOTH.

THEY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON, TOO.

WHAT'S THAT?

-YOU CAN'T AFFORD EITHER OF THEM ON A LIFEGUARD'S SALARY.

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH.

I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE PATROL.

WHAT A SURPRISE.

-THERE'S A BEAUTIFUL RED PORSCHE ON LOT THREE.

IT'S A SHAME.

IT LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER IN BLACK.

ANY LUCK?

-OH, YEAH. SHE WANTED TO BEAR MY CHILDREN.

BUT I TOLD HER LIFEGUARDING COMES FIRST, SO HERE I AM.

YEAH.

-NOW THERE'LL BE NO MORE TALKING ABOUT SURFING, GUYS.

YOU GOT A DORY RACE TO GET READY FOR,

AND WE ARE GOING TO ANNIHILATE YOU.

YEAH, RIGHT.

-YOU WILL BE HUMILIATED THIS YEAR, YOU KNOW THAT?

DESTROYED SHELLS OF YOUR FORMER SELVES.

-YEAH, YOU'D BETTER START THINKING ABOUT AN INSTITUTION,

SOME NICE, QUIET, RESTFUL PLACE

TO RECOVER FROM THE INNER AGONY YOU'RE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE.

-OH, REUNIONS ARE WONDERFUL THINGS,

SURROUNDED BY WARM, KIND, CARING FRIENDS.

-IT'S ALL RIGHT, LET THEM HAVE A LAST LAUGH.

THE LAST TIME WE LOST THE DORY RACE,

YOU WERE WEARING BELL BOTTOMS,

AND YOU HAD SIDEBURNS THE SIZE OF DELAWARE.

-YOU KNOW, PAUL, THEY HAVEN'T GOTTEN

ANY HUMBLER SINCE THE LAST REUNION.

THEY WILL.

GUYS, WE DON'T SPEND ALL YEAR

PUSHING PENCILS AROUND FOR NO REASON.

WE CONSERVE OUR STRENGTH FOR THIS BEACH FESTIVAL.

-SPEAKING OF THAT, LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY!

TONIGHT WE HAVE THE ANNUAL BUCHANNON RIB FESTIVAL

AT MY HOUSE, BE THERE!

-THAT'S PERFECT. ALLISON WILL BE THERE.

ALLISON GIBSON?

-YEAH, SHE TEACHES MARINE BIOLOGY AT UC SANTA BARBARA.

BUT I'LL LET HER TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THAT.

COME ON, LET'S GO SURF NOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING, MAN,

WHEN YOU INVITED ALLISON DOWN HERE.

-WHAT? SHE WAS PART OF THE GROUP.

IT'S A REUNION, ISN'T IT?

-I JUST HOPE CRAIG AND MITCH ARE COOL ABOUT IT.

THAT LITTLE SCENE DIDN'T EXACTLY DO WONDERS

FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP, YOU KNOW?

COME ON.

WHAT'S WITH THE SHIRT?

I CAN'T TAKE THE SUN ANYMORE.

COME ON, TELL ME. HOW OLD WERE YOU?

14. HOW ABOUT YOU?

THE FIRST TIME?

YEAH.

TEN.

NO WAY.

YEAH, I'M SERIOUS.

HECK, I STARTED DREAMING ABOUT IT WHEN I WAS EIGHT.

SPENT TWO YEARS WAITING FOR THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY.

THEN MY FOLKS LEAVE TOWN,

LEAVE ME WITH A SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD BABYSITTER.

REALLY?

YES, SO I MAKE HER A DEAL.

I GIVE HER THE KEYS TO MY PARENTS LIQUOR CABINET AND--

AND?

-AND SHE GAVE ME THE KEYS TO HER CAR.

HER CAR?

-YEAH, THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I DROVE.

THE FIRST TIME YOU DROVE?

YEAH.

HOW SILLY OF ME TO THINK THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS,

YOU MIGHT BE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING

THAN CARS.

-WHAT'S MORE INTERESTING THAN CARS?

RIGHT.

-HEY, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DRIVING THESE DAYS?

-A BEAUTIFUL PAIR OF 1989 SNEAKERS.

-STILL? -YEAH.

-WHAT HAPPENED? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING A CAR WEEKS AGO.

-SO DID I, UNTIL I FOUND OUT WHAT TWO GRAND WILL BUY YOU.

-COME ON, DUDE, YOU CAN GET A GREAT CAR FOR TWO GRAND.

-YEAH, RIGHT, IF YOU WANT PEDALS.

-NO, YOU JUST GOTTA KNOW WHERE TO LOOK.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

SPECIAL FAVOR TO A FRIEND.

LET'S SEE WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU.

HOW'S IT GOING OUT THERE? WE'RE STARVING?

DON'T WORRY, MY ASSISTANT IS BASTING AWAY.

HEY. OH.

HEY, MITCH, YOU EVER HEARD OF GIRLS?

THEY CAN TURN EVEN THE MOST ORDINARY PARTY

INTO SOMETHING SPECIAL, YOU KNOW.

-CHILL OUT, THEY'LL BE HERE. THE PARTY HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET.

-HEY, HOBIE MIGHT STILL NEED HELP.

HEY, MITCH.

YEAH?

LISTEN, UH...

I HOPE IT WASN'T OUT OF LINE OF ME ASKING ALLISON

TO COME HERE.

NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE I MARRIED GAYLE.

-YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA MARRY GAYLE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA MARRY ALLISON.

THEN OF COURSE, BEFORE THAT, I FIGURED THAT CRAIG

WAS GONNA MARRY ALLISON.

-WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, OKAY?

LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

-THEY'RE READY. CRAIG'S BRINGING THE REST OF THEM.

-WAIT, HOBIE, NOT SO FAST. YOU MIGHT NEED A LITTLE HAND.

I'LL GET IT.

-HEY, HOBIE, THEY'RE LOOKING GREAT.

DID YOU DO THAT ON YOURSELF?

HEY, MITCH.

HI. COME IN, HI, ALLISON.

HI.

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

HEY, GUYS, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

HEY, IT'S THE GUYS.

ALLISON.

HI.

I GUESS TONY TOLD YOU I WAS COMING.

YEAH, YEAH, HE DID.

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME WHEN YOU MOVED BACK INTO TOWN?

-OH, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WHEN YOU LOSE TOUCH.

WELL, IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG.

ANYWAY, I'M HERE NOW.

YEAH.

CRAIG.

ALLISON.

REMEMBER THAT TIME--

REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN WE WERE ROOKIES,

AND YOU GUYS SWAM OUT TO THE CHANNEL MARKER,

LIKE, IN YOUR BIRTHDAY SUITS?

THE WATER WAS COLD.

ALL OF A SUDDEN WE GET NAILED WITH THIS BLINDING LIGHT.

WE LOOK UP AND WE WERE SURROUNDED BY RESCUE BOATS.

-YEAH, THEY WOULDN'T LEAVE UNTIL WE AGREED TO LET THEM RESCUE US.

-AND THEN, WHEN YOU GUYS GOT BACK,

AND YOU COULDN'T FIND YOUR CLOTHES.

I'LL NEVER FORGET THE LOOK ON YOUR FACES

WHEN THORPE CAME OUT AND GAVE YOU EACH A BLANKET.

WHAT I NEVER FIGURED OUT IS,