Bent

Keep 'em closed,

I'm familiar with the "keep 'em closed" policy.

Your hands smell like peanut butter.

Damn it, I knew you ate my pb&j.

Gary, cue the music.

Um... what am I doing? Am I humming?

Where's the boom box?

You told me to take everything out of the room.

Obviously, that didn't mean the boom box!

What is the big surprise?

Did you actually finish something?

Don't love the tone. Gary, hum.

All right, this is the first finished wall

of your new kitchen.

- Ta-da. -

There's a hole in it.

Yeah, well it's not finished finished.

We're about 45 minutes away.

So how come we didn't do this in, like, 45 minutes?

'Cause I got lunch with my moms.

Can't say "moms." Nope.

Yeah, she's in town from London,

and if I could ask you a huge favor.

You've earned it.

You're helping my dad with his will today, right?

Please don't mention this to him.

- Why? - 'Cause he's still

- in love with her. - Aw, that's so sweet.

No, it's gross. And if he finds out

that she's in town, he's gonna try

to get back together with her, and the whole thing will end

with me picking up the pieces,

and I need to be in a good headspace for our woo.

What "woo"?

Ben's out of town. This is our woo...

"Window of opportunity."

Not to put a shot clock on it,

but we got about 48 hours to make... this happen.

There's no window. There's no door.

There's a wall with a hole.

Finish it.

It'll be finished by the end of the work day... 3:00 P.M.

What time have you guys been leaving?

Don't judge me for being efficient.

Ice cream truck!

Not today, clem.

I mean... not any day.

I want to make one small change.

I want leave all of my shoes to go to Pete.

Why don't we just go ahead and say Pete gets your clothes?

Okay.

Uh, well, all except the tie I got married in.

And who gets that windfall?

Uh, Pete's mom.

Ah, the ex.

What do... uh.

What does that mean? "Ah, the ex."

Ah, she gets your tie.

I know, there's something... Something's off here.

Next item.

You know I read people as part of my craft.

No, and your body language is a... is a mess.

Let's see, you just... You just saw Pete

and you kind of freaked out when I mentioned my ex.

I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

Alex...

Hey, come on, Alex.

Baby, I'm old enough to be your dad.

Oh, no, no, n no.

- I'm flattered. - No, no... don't be!

You know, I wish it could be a two-way street, really,

because, personality-wise, I just think...

- You know, we click... - Vanessa's in town!

What's that?

Vanessa's in town.

Can I just... can I just get that tuna sandwich?

Are you serious? Ice cream cart tuna... bold.

- Mistake. - Disgusting.

Okay, you know, I'd really love it

if you guys didn't comment on everything that I ate.

Noted.

All right, you're gonna eat this slowly, right?

Don't micromanage, okay?

Give it up, Pete.

- Hey, Gary! - Hi.

Hi, so here's my boss' cat.

Yep, mm-hmm.

I'm supposed to watch him through Sunday.

- You good with that? - Yeah, it's all good.

- Sunday. - Yeah?

- Roger that. - And here's his insulin.

He gets a shot every three or four hours.

- Diabetic? Check. - Yeah?

Awesome. You rock.

Hey do you maybe wanna hang...

Are you trying to get laid or be her great-aunt?

No, I got a plan.

Yeah, looks like it's really coming together.

Aah! Ohh!

Are you okay there, big man?

- Ahh! - Can you hear me?

Brain freeze.

You ate the whole thing. That was about ten seconds.

Whoo!

Listen, you can't tell Pete that I told you.

No, I thought she... She's doing cabaret in London?

He thinks that if you see her

you're gonna get all in your head.

Right, she's probably here because her show closed

and she's too embarrassed to call.

She thinks we're competitive,

and the times was particularly unkind to her.

"Ms. Carter's wooden performance

was a plague on the entire production."

Or something.

So agreed then? Cone of silence.

I want to see her.

I know, I know. It's complicated.

And I know it's a lot of emotional baggage.

But to be Frank, there's a...

There's a carnal attraction that's just primitive

in its essence.

But you know all about that.

No.

- Look at your body language. - No, I wasn't...

- Look at that. -

How was lunch with your mom?

Oh, it was pretty good, you know?

She dipped into the British accent

now and again, but she also paid.

Whoa, what happened to you?

That cat does not like insulin.

Well, you need to disinfect that.

Vlad, you got any of that Russian water in your cooler?

Are we seriously working till 3:00?

Nah, you guys are burnt out. I'm calling it.

- - Whoo!

Oh, before I forget, I found a photo of us

from that house we rented in Laurel canyon.

Whew, remember this guy?

- I was so young. -

Maybe I should grow a mustache again.

Why was my hair so shor...

Oh, I know, because I had just booked that recurring on days.

Uh-huh, and I had the 'stache

because I... I was on hold for the, um...

How was London? Les mis, right?

Cabaret. Smashing success.

We sold out every night.

That's... that's great.

Did the, uh, times get out there to review it?

Don't get competitive.

What are we doing here?

Missed you.

Walter.

Check, please.

Looks like an old dog has learned some new tricks.

How do we tell the son?

The son heard!

Heard you last night and I heard you this morning.

It's all bad.

Mmm.

Decadent.

Smells good.

Where's the syrup?

- Oh. -

I think we left it on the nightstand last night.

Oh, no, I'll eat it dry. I'll eat it dry.

So, mom, I hear you're loving London.

Oh, smashing.

Oh, how adorable is that accent?

Hey, guys, what's the plan here?

What, uh... we're not getting the band back together, are we?

No.

No.

Pops, a word?

- Do I need to be worried? - No.

It was a beautiful evening, son. There's no expectations.

- Good. - I mean, I'd, you know...

Be open to it if... If she...

Pops, she's going back to London

and I'm not picking up the pieces again.

All right, relax. Whatever happens...

- I'm a tough old dog. - Eh, you're really not.

Take the syrup. Don't be a prude.

- Miss us? - Mmm, always.

So, mom, I'm gonna come, uh... I'm gonna visit you in London

as soon as this, uh, kitchen gig I'm doing is over.

Yeah, he's doing a job for my attorney,

who, uh... Has a little crush on me.

I'll fill you in later.

You should come visit me on set this afternoon.

What set?

Oh, it's just a little movie I'm doing.

- Buckle up. - That's great.

That is... Congratulations.

Why didn't you tell me about it?

I know you're between gigs.

Do you feel bad for me, Vanessa, huh?

Why? Because I had to borrow a condom from Pete last night?