Cracker

I who have nothing

I who am no-one

Adore you

And want you so

I'm just a no-one

Wiith nothing to give you, but oh

I love you

He

He buys you diamonds

Bright

Sparkling diamonds

But believe me

Hear when I say

That he may glve you all

But he'll never love you the way...

I love you

He can take you to any place that he wants

To fancy clubs and restaurants

But I can only watch you with

My nose pressed up against the windowpane

Yeah yeah...

I who have nothing...

Did you win?

Second?

Downtown...

I'm Tina.

Can't get a word in edgeways can I?

Sh-Sh-Sh-Sh...

Sh... Sh...

- Sean? - Yeah.

Downtown

We're gonna be all right..

Woo-hoo-hoo!

I like karaokes.

You can go on your own pretend you're one of the singers.

Or go with one of'em.

Thanks.

Coffee?

Sugar?

Yeah.

- Hello Fitz. - Hello.

Er...I've only booked for two.

We're not stopping.

You want me to come home?

Oh wait a mlnute...

- You want me to come home? - Who is this?

Graham is my therapist.

Judith you don't need crap like that!

20 years married to you, I need more than therapy. I need a trip to Lourdes.

- I can understand your hostility. - Oh can you?

Judith's told me things, intimate things, so you feel vulnerable.

- Jesus wept. - Threatened.

- I don't think you should evade... - I'm not discussing anything

in front of this talking bloody textbook.

Fine.

Bye Fitz.

No, no, cancel that last statement, Judith.

You want me to come home?

Yes.

Why?

I think Judith needs to hear it.

Waiter, a plate of humhle pie for Herbert Lom there, please.

We're not eating, thanks.

Why do you want me to come home?

Because I love you, that's why.

Diet Coke.

I'll come back on three conditions.

First, you go to Gamblers Anonymous.

Aw, it's run hy wankers for wankers!

I'm involved in the local branch.

I rest my case.

- It's just about the best in the country. - I bet you it isn't.

Second, we put the house in my name. My sole name.

And third, we change the current account so that each cheque needs two slgnatures.

Well?

Waiter, could I have a very sharp knife, please? My wife would like to cut off my balis.

I used to enjoy that, Fitz,

the way you'd toss a hand grenade into the conversation, sit back and watch it go off.

But now it's boring.

The way you probe is boring. The way you analyse is boring.

Your search for the bloody pure motive. It's as boring as living with the bloody Pope!

Would you get me a gin and tonic?

A large gin and tonic for the lady, please.

Well?

My gambling. Is that boring?

I can thlnk of a lot of words to describe it, Fitz,

but no...boring wouldn't be one of them.

No. Life needs a bit of risk, Judith.

A bit of Bogart and Hepburn in The African Queen.

I prefer Judith and Fitz on the straight and narrow.

Come on. Give me ten mlnutes. I want to show you something.

Just tell me whether or not we have a deal.

We've been married 20 years, Judith. What's ten minutes?

That disgusting smell is my son's feet, by the way.

We've tried everything bar amputation though that's still a possibility.

Well!

Whoever lives in this house obviously has...

- Get to the polnt. - ..extremely expensive tastes in clothes!

I bought you this when Cool Ground won the Gold Cup,

and this when Doctor Devious won the Derby

and this when Party Politics won the National.

- I've shared in your winnings, is that it? - Exactly!

And why do you thlnk I left them all behind?

Are you lonesome tonight?.

Do you miss me tonight?

Are you sorry we drifted apart?

Does your memory stray

To a bright summer's day...

Do the chairs in your parlour

Seem empty... - We've got nothing.

We get our giro on Wednesday.

- I'll pay you back then. - Telly.

Shall I come back agaln?

What are you...? Hey!

Hey! Open the door!

Tina, what's going on?

You might as well glve us a bit more time. There's nothing here worth taking!

Tina!

Tina, what's going on?

Ahh! Tina!

Stay.

Tina! Tina!

Aargh! Aagrh, argh!

The bastard's name's Cormack.

My c...c...c...

Your cups?

He took them.

I'll ask my parents.

Get some money from them, pay that bastard off.

Get your cups back.

- It's on the stairs. - Walk.

It is!

You're not going down there, Sean?

No! No!

Sean! No!

Bingo.

Bluegrass muslc

Yee-ha!

All right geezer!

- Here. - Ahh!

You'll make me crash.

Can we come in?

You can come in, but he can't.

Where did you get the car?

- You're moving? - Yeah.

Where did you get the car?

Sean bought it. He's working.

You never told me you were moving.

We tried, but we didn't know where you were.

Where's he working?

Some haulage firm.

Can you get rid of that?

Whlch one?

Oh, I'm not sure where.

But he's working, right?

But I'm not sure where.

Wiil you lend it me, or not?.

Sammy's upstalrs.

Yeah?

Well, go and see her.

Hello, Tina.

- Will you lend it me or not? - Not.

Get rid of him,

come back with us... and we'll talk about the loan then.

Oh...

What...?

What will Cormack do?

Yeah.

They said they would've given it me, but they're a bit short.

Well, they're moving house soon, as well.

And that's not cheap, you know.

Estate agents screw you, lawyers screw you. Carpets, curtains...

- Petrol? - Ye-eah.

You're lying.

They think I'm crap. They told you to get shut of me, then they'd give you some money.

You and all. You think I'm crap.

- You're ashamed of me. - I'm not.

Listen, where are you going? Sean!

Hey! I love you, right?

Hey, Billy-no-mates! I love you!

OK? I love you!

The bus.

But we haven't got the fare.

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Here, this fella's going a bit fast, isn't he?

- We should've stopped there! - Love, you've gone past the bingo!

Stopl Stopl

You've gone past, pet.

It's just like Bonnle and Clyde!

Look, all I want to do is to talk to my wife, OK?

- That's a clvil matter. - Exactly!

But we've had a complalnt. That's a police matter.

If you don't leave these people in peace, I'm going to have to arrest you.

You're kidding.

- Come on you bastard, let's have you! - Is everybody OK?

You all right? You all right, love? Nobody's hurt?

We've got you now, you bastard!

Name?

I'll... I'll... I'll write it.