Private Vices, Public Virtues

Why do you smoke? 為什麼抽煙？

Look... 看...

Our future Empress is sleeping 我們未來的皇后正在睡覺

See? 瞧啊...

I couldn't even wake her with a pistol shot 她一身裝束都是印著皇家徽章，內衣上都是！

Look...

The Imperial coat of arms even on her underwear! 她一身裝束都是印著皇家徽章，內衣上都是！

I've never known a woman more stupid 從沒見過像我妻子這麼蠢的女人

She sleeps all day 你知道她為何總是睡覺嗎？

Dreaming of the day when she becomes Empress 那樣才能做以後母儀天下的黃粱美夢

I swear, she told me And you know I never lie 她親口告訴我的，我這人從不說謊

Awake, she thinks only of clothes for the future heir 當她醒來，她只在乎穿著像將被冊封之人

All embroidered with the Imperial coat of arms 內衣、睡衣及襪子，全都印上

But how will she have an heir? I certainly won't give her one 可她何時能有嗣子呢？我可不想成全她

In spite of my father 儘管我父皇熱愛寫作，常寫信這樣問我：

Who keeps sending me letters "吾兒，汝可有盡責乎？

Asking: "Have you done your duty,my son?" "汝需奮力生子，以使後繼有人，方可保我江山社稷"

"It is imperative a future Emperor,has a male heir" 以使後繼有人，方可保我江山社稷"

Male heir?I was thinking of killing her 太子是太子！我真想殺了她

Throw her in the water,she can't even swim! 把她扔進水裏，她不會游泳！

She dreams she's Marie Antoinette at Versailles... 她現在可能正夢見自己是絕代艷後呢

sending us all to the guillotine 身處凡爾賽宮，將我們送上斷頭台，瞧！

We should send her! 我們還是送她上斷頭台算了！

But now I have to pee.Wait, I can't hold it! 但我現在想尿尿，快停下！等等，我憋不住了！

Oh, I'm desperate 憋死我

Here 這裏！

- I need to... - Here! - 我要去 - 這裏！

Do it in her hat 尿在帽子裏

- Perfect - Look here... - 很好！ - 過來，寶貝

I want it, I want it.Give it to me! 我要，我要，快給我！

The sunflower greets me and not the Emperor 葵花之心向我問候，而不是向皇帝問候

To arrive unseen...you shouldn't offer flowers 他希望自己悄然來到，...當然不會送花了

Do you love me? 你愛我嗎？

Oh yes 愛

- Were you unfaithful? - No - 有對我不忠麼 - 決不會

Not even with your wife? 和你妻子也沒做過

Not even with her 和我妻子也沒做過

And you? 你呢？

Oh, yes! 是的

But I promised my brother I wouldn't tell you 可我跟我哥哥保證，不會告訴你的

Have you done your duty? 你盡責了嗎？

Not yet.We waited for you 還沒，我們想要等你來

My dear old dad is a stickler for etiquette 我們不要忘了 我親愛的老父皇很重視繁文縟節

In honour of the happy departure of my wife... 為了幸福，我當然希望妻子離開

I put on my trousers 我正在穿褲子

Live, grow, blossom! 繁華似錦，生生不息！

Tell me all about your travels 你還沒跟我說過你們的好事

What did you and Sofia do? 那你和索菲亞做了什麼？

We came across a circus and stopped to watch 你還沒跟我說過你們的好事

A beautiful show 表演可謂原汁原味

- Midgets on a flying trapeze - I saw that! - 矮人打著鞦韆，當頭飛過 - 我知道他們

On my wife's birthday 他們來到城堡給我妻子的慶生

They were supposed to perform for her 本來給她表演

But we all got drunk 結果都喝醉了，我也與他們同醉

They were all drunk the other day in the tent, it was funny 事實上，他們那在帳篷酩酊大醉，這才有趣

The clowns were jumping around naked 小丑們脫掉了衣服，光著身子跳來跳去

There was a British Baroness 有位不列顛男爵夫人也在場

Standing like a statue, entranced 如雕像般迷人

You should have seen her! 你應該見過她

And the ringmaster was walking around wearing a mask... 戴著一副滿是官威的面具

and crying out: "Music!" 喊道：音樂奏起

"Come gentlemen!Join in the performance" 衣服捲起來，今天的表演也有你的一份

"Here, you can say anything you want 在這裏，你想說什麼就說什麼

"Step up here and reveal your true selves" 走到前面，盡情展現自己吧

"It's the key to our success" 這是我們成功的關鍵

Sofia and I burst out laughing 我和索菲亞放聲大笑

"What luck, we've really come to the right place!" 心想真走運，我們來對地方了！

"Mr. Ringmaster,"I shouted... “演出指揮先生”我在後排大喊道

Adjusting his mask,he said to me: 他走到我身邊，動了動面具說道：

"One moment!Before I let you tell it..." 等一下，在你跟觀眾講故事之前

"I must judge if it's of interest" 我想聽一下，看究竟是否好笑

"It's most interesting,"I replied “我向你保證，絕對好笑”，我回復道

"To begin with, Mr. Ringmaster..." 首先，演出指揮先生

"my sister and I are lovers" 我要說，我跟我妹是情人，你會相信嗎？

"In a ménage-à-trois with the heir to the throne..." 我們實際上是三人行，還有太子、我們的繼兄

"who is also our stepbrother" 全怪我母親，

"This is because our mother, when she was young and beautiful..." 當時她年輕貌美，

"was the Emperor's mistress" 成了皇上的情婦

"We three are very much in love, and never want to be apart" 我們仨手足情深，沒想過要分開

"But what about the Emperor? Sometimes when he's drunk..." 你也許會問，那皇帝呢？每當他微醺時

"he calls us all... 'my children"' 他稱我們為"我的孩子們"

The Ringmaster didn't care 事實上，演出指揮并不關心

In a solemn voice he said:"If only it were true" 別這樣說，他用嚴肅的聲音回答：要是真的那就有意思了

"But, dear sir, it is all true," I said 我說這是真的，全是真的，無庸置疑

"Where is your proof?"he asked. 他反問，你的證據在哪

"How true is the truth,if there is no proof?" 若沒證據，又有誰會信呢？

How much longer will theylet us do as we like? 你覺得，他們還能放任我們多久？

Don't be silly 你可真傻！

Enjoy it all while it lasts 今朝有酒今朝醉，

Don't count the days 哪管明朝是何歲

My father already knows 不是我父皇知不知情的問題

And he always... takes everything seriously, even our games 他總是太過認真，即便是我們玩遊戲

He's taken us so much to heart,that several days ago... 其實他是太關心我們了，幾天前，...

he threw all our friends in prison ..他把我們朋友全抓去坐牢了

- Did you know that? - Yes - 你知道這事嗎 - 知道

And they were asked if there is a conspiracy amongst us 他們有談到，他們被逼招供我們圖謀逆反

- Why doesn't he arrest us? - To avoid a scandal - 可他為何不逮捕我們？ - 讓醜聞傳遍天下？

He can't admit his son plots against him 不會的，他不會承認自己的太子謀反

I want to force my father to arrest us 我想迫父皇逮捕我們，

It's the only weapon we have 這是我們唯一武器

Your father's envoy is here and wants to speak with you 你父皇的特使來了，說想跟你談談

Come on, let's have some fun 走！我們作弄他去

Greetings, Colonel. I see you made General already - 你好，上校，很高興看你晉陞將軍了

Thank you, Highness 謝謝，太子殿下

And I see you have a bodyguard 我看到你有貼身保鏢

My father is generous to loyal subjects 父皇對忠誠之人 可真大方

I have orders... 殿下，我有令

Sorry, I must take a bath 抱歉，可我要先洗個澡

I am here by your father's orders 是你父皇陛下派我來的

Will you arrest me? 你要逮捕我嗎？

The Emperor sent me, Highness,with a letter for you 殿下，皇上有親筆御函給你

Here it is 呈上來！

Lovely... 真舒服...

Umbrellas! 上雨傘！

Looks like rain 我看快下雨了

Ah, yes... 是的...

It often rains here when it's sunny 這邊常會下太陽雨

You may shelter,if you wish 將軍，你可在此暫避

See them off! 送他們出去！

Our Holy Emperor has written that a dog is a man's best friend 我們的父皇在信中對我們訓道：狗乃人之益友

If a dog chases a man to bite him... 果真如此的話，那如果狗追個人咬

is the man then neither a friend nor a man? 是否說明，他非但不是朋友，更不是人？

Our Holy Emperor has also taught us... 我們父皇還訓道：

that nothing is more embarrassing than a bitch in heat... 世間最尷尬之事，莫過於母狗發情

because she has no shame 因她恬不知恥

She'll do it anywhere and doesn't mind who watches 隨地野合，無視旁人側目

Our Holy Emperor teaches us many things 父皇教會了我們很多事

He's highly cultured and has fixed ideas about everything 因為他是明君，什麼事有成見

As we grow up, he makes us learn his doctrines by heart 我們長大後，他教我們信條，並讓我們用心銘記

Family, procreation, the State, sin, a proverb for every subject 家庭、繁衍、政體、罪惡，事事以格言訓之，

Now we know all the Emperor's doctrines... 讓我們通曉所有天子之道

every day, after lunch... 每天午膳後

we do spiritual and physical exercise in order to forget them 我們的精神與體力練習，只為忘記那些教條

There are too many. Each different from the other... 我們這樣做是因規矩太多，條條都大不相同

and all different from us 而我們根本離經叛道

Listen...

I've just had a great idea 你在想什麼？我剛想到一個好主意

Let's hear it 說來聽聽

- If it's so good let's do it - It's done 要真有效，我們馬上行動

The circus arrives tomorrow 明天我們馬戲團的朋友要來的城堡

We're going to throw a spectacular party 為此，我們可以辦個特別派對

Invite the young aristocrats 只有領地貴族兒女方能參加，絕對好玩

We'll have fun, and above all, drink 更妙的是，把他們灌醉

Teresa's yellow powder in the champagne... 香檳裏摻雜上特瑞莎情藥

- will work a miracle - And I'll photograph it! - 必將妙不可言 - 然後我全拍下來

I want them drunk 我把他們灌醉

Intoxicated and uninhibited in every picture 每張照片拍得都是...他們酒後失態

Your father won't be able to hide the scandal 我們有照片在手，你父皇也壓不住這醜聞了

Not like before,with so much fuss made... 宮闈醜聞太多，儘是...

about harmless nonsense ...朝廷穢事

We'll publish them and create an uproar 我們取得文件，展示證據，製造騷亂

All the children of the Empire shall spit on their fathers 願天下所有兒臣都背叛父皇

Long live all traitors! 逆子萬歲！

Silence! 安靜！

We'll begin the party with a nice family portrait 派對開始前，先照張優雅的全家福

Just a moment 稍等一下...

A little closer 靠近一點

Look that way 看那邊

Smile 微笑

- Good - Wait... - 很好 - 等一下！

Where's Teresa? Go and get her 特瑞莎人呢？快去叫她

Teresa, come join us for the photograph 特瑞莎，你不想跟我們合照嗎？快點

Wait...first drink this 等待....，先來抿一口

It's good, eh? Good... a little more... 沒喝吧，再喝，不錯吧？

Come on 走吧

Wait 等下

Come along 快點

Ready? Hold it... 好了沒？別動...

The Circus of Truth has arrived among us! 他們來了 真理馬戲團到了

All hail Mary! 聖母萬歲！

Here we are 我們來了

The Baroness de Gallis 男爵夫人加利斯

Give me a kiss 親我一下

The most illustrious youths of the Empire are here 皇親貴戚都在我們手中

...and the Baroness Fontan Anke Schmidt（注意比照中字）

- Welcome... - Please... - 欢迎 - 請

You must try the champagne 好好嘗嘗香檳

It's a special brand, very special.You'll like it very much 這牌子很特別，非常好喝 你肯定會喜歡，嘗一嘗

We had it sent from far away,especially for this party 我們特地從遠方調來 供派對飲用

Please, Countess... 夫人們，請享用

My dear Prince,why aren't you drinking? 好太子，你幹嘛不喝啊？

Have you had a drink? 你剛剛有喝麼？

Please... 來...

And now: To your health! "為健康乾杯"

Come, you must drink - 你還沒喝呢

Like our Hungarian dancers? 你覺得匈牙利舞者怎樣？

- They're great, aren't they? - Yes, indeed they are - 他們很厲害吧？ - 確實如此

- Is everything set? - All according to plan - 全都搞定了？ - 盡在計劃中

The powder really works 催情藥非常有效，

Just wait 你走著瞧

Live! ! ! Grow! Blossom! 繁花似錦，生生不息！

Another toast! 再乾一杯！

Listen up! Listen up! 注意了，注意了

Now we will start the spectacular dance competition 舞蹈大賽，現在開始

We have abolished all the rules 我們不設任何規矩

If you feel too hot,just take off your clothes! 要覺得熱，盡請脫掉衣服