Scheme Birds

Everybody's gettin' into something.

I don't run away from nothing.

I run to it.

I'm Gemma.

I'm from Jerviston, in Motherwell,

and over years since I was born,

there's been so much fighting.

But what everyone gives us credit

for is because we never ran, we always stood.

You're so good.

We get called Scheme Birds.

This is the scheme where I live.

A scheme is like a non-snobby place to stay.

You could pick anything in the world.

You could move to Ibiza,

you could move here, you could move there.

No, I live here.

Gemma!

Take it over the Craig!

That's what we're doing, stupid!

Who the fuck are you calling stupid, you cunt!

You!

If you stay here, you either get locked up or knocked up.

But I don't think I'll ever move out.

I think I'll stay here the rest of my whole life.

I hope so.

I hope I do.

I don't want to fly the nest anytime soon.

That little guy got heavy smashed.

That got captured in slow-motion and everything.

Lift her head up with her hair and start banging

it off the ground.

See most lasses, man, they fight with grabbing hair.

You fight with your fists, Gemma.

I don't even give them a chance to grab my hair, man.

Imagine someone did that in Jervi, man?

They'd get fucking stabbed the fuck out of.

Fuck the Queen, fuck the Pope.

Don't fuck the Pope, you cunt.

Fuck the Queen!

Yeah, the Queen's a bean.

All cops

are

bastards.

They are, aren't they?

Come on, keep going.

Time!

Right, Gemma, up here.

Gemma!

That's my Grandpa.

My Papa's brought me up since I was a baby.

Bang, bang, bang.

You got the ring.

See, if you move, and I'm boxing you,

If I'm boxing you, I'm going there,

and you're doing the running.

I'll no tire.

You'll tire.

Okay.

So you take them up by the ring.

My mum and dad were really young when they had me.

But I've never met my mum since I was a small baby.

Stop and you're in a bind.

Stop.

Anywhere you go...

I know it sounds bad,

but I don't want to meet her anymore.

I didn't need her for 18 years, and she didn't need me, so...

Right, watch it.

Duck your head and go the opposite way.

Right, go.

Watch your slip.

If you leave like that,

somebody'll just swoop in there, bump in the ribs.

It'll put you down on your knees.

Lovely.

Better.

That's better.

People around here get into trouble.

Papa doesn't like it at all.

Because it's quite a kick in the teeth

when he's bringing everybody to the boxing gym,

and teaching them that, and then they go and get in trouble

with the police and,

God knows who else.

Go on!

Go on!

Magic.

Another one, and I'll have you up here, Gemma.

But he likes his pigeons.

I think he likes the pigeons

better than he likes most people.

Rather than sitting in the house worrying about a thing,

you could water them or feed them,

and it takes your mind off it for half an hour.

Which is a blessing, isn't it?

If other people haven't got a hobby or aren't into anything,

it could eat away at you.

All right

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Honey, I'm home!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on, all right, I won't touch you.

Come on.

Come on.

Babies are babies.

They're growing all the time.

So you've got to make a bond with them.

Fuck off.

Samuel.

Fuck off!

Samuel, you're doing my fucking head in!

I'm not even doing fuck all, am I?

Samuel, fuck off!

Fucking go home!

No, don't fucking even try it.

Just don't even speak to me.

Samuel, fuck off!

You fucking asshole!

Fucking shut your mouth!

Get your ass in, you fucking minger!

Right, troops, I'm out.

Chicken!

Away you go, you smelly bastards!

Wanna slide that for me?

Aye, aye.

Hello.

Aye, Papa.

All right, I'll come up soon then, right?

Okay, that's fine.

Okay, bye, bye.

Am I the judge?

No, through the wire first with them,

and then, after that, handling.

Roll it, yeah.

Right, the next one.

Every Friday in the boxing gym,

they have a pigeon show.

And they decide which bird is the most beautiful.

A lot of them are just random men.

They think that the pigeons keep people out of jail

and out of trouble and stuff.

That's it.

Right, Gemma, come over and have a look.

He's taken them out, Kelly.

I wouldn't put them on that.

Let's see what you think.

That's the nicest one there out of them all.

I think that 39's the nicest one of them all.

But handling is different from through the wire.

If you handle that pigeon, and you handle those pigeons,

you'll see the difference.

Which pigeon is it?

Snowball!

The winner.

That stands nicer than everything.

What, that stands nicer?

Oh yeah, definitely.

'Cause that one's not had time out the basket,

that's what the thing is.

That's a cracker.

If that got into the environment,

it would have stood better.

Three times down to France.

Over the top of its head, that's it.

Our pigeons have been all over the world.

You let them out and they find their way back home.

Most of them, at least.

Fly, babies!

Fly!

Now I'm going to tell you something.

So this is how it all started.

Once, we were called Steelopolis.

We supplied the whole world with steel.

Everybody worked there.

And my gran worked there.

A lot of my family.

When the steelworks was there, Motherwell was thriving.

Maggie Thatcher, she took all the steelworks

in Scotland and Ireland for England.

We're the party of the whole United Kingdom.

The English hated the Scottish,

and suddenly, it was shut down.

She put a lot of people out of work.

I don't know why.

The same year I was born, 1997,

the steelworks was blown up.

The sky turned gray.

Motherwell didn't really have much left after that.

We still have nothing to do.

Wanna play stab for a stab, like we used to, Scott?

This is Pat.

Right, I'm fucking top boy, you all know it!

This young guy, he's under my wing.

And who's top bird?

Yeah, man!

Drunkies, guilty!