White Famous

Here's what's been happening on White Famous.

- You must be the famous Sadie. - Famous? Am I?

Floyd speaks incredibly highly of you.

There's been an incident with our children.

Found these two kissing under a tree.

This girl is thirsty.

My son doesn't lie, he doesn't steal,

and he for sure doesn't grab girls and kiss them.

Maybe she saw something she liked, and she went for it.

Like mother, like daughter.

Is Floyd the man with whom you cuckolded me?

Did you sleep with her?

- I think I just got fired. - I just got fired.

They shut us down. They pulled the plug!

He can just do that? So the show is over?

No, it's not over.

I will exact my revenge on that motherfucker!

Floyd!

Floyd, what the fuck, man?

Floyd!

I'm coming!

What the hell took you so long?

You're not answering your phone.

I don't know, maybe 'cause I'm fucking sleeping.

Well, what's the matter with you?

Do I... do I look that bad?

You look like you've been rode hard

and put away wet. But it ain't that, man.

I had this weird dream, and you were in it.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Well, did we fuck?

What the... nigga, no. Why would we fuck, Teddy?

I don't know. Dreams are weird, dude.

They're manifestations of all your hopes,

wishes, fears, anxieties, but... but never mind all that.

We don't have time to analyze your stupid fucking dreams.

Man, you gotta get dressed, okay?

- I need you to come with me. - Where?

I'm gonna go talk to Peter.

Come on, man, what good is that gonna do, man?

- You just need to let that go. - Let it go?

Let it go? What kinda stupid fucking plan is that?

I'm not letting anything go.

You know what that motherfucker is doing right now?

He's not letting us take the project anywhere else.

We're in fucking limbo, man.

He won't officially pass on it,

but he won't let us make it on our own.

It's like he's got a... a dry thumb up my ass,

which I like, okay, but he won't do me the courtesy

of giving me a fucking reach-around.

Okay, okay, you need some sleep, Teddy.

No, fuck sleep, man. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Fuck that. Why don't we just...

okay, we gotta go to his house,

and then knock on his door

and just talk to him man to girly man.

Wait, wait, that... that sounds like a home invasion.

I'm not riding along on a home invasion.

That shit don't end well for a black man.

Well, what the fuck are we gonna do, Floyd?

I don't know what to do. He won't meet with me.

He... he won't talk with me. I even gave him a big fat check

to cover the cost of having to drain his pool.

Nothing's working. I don't know what to do.

Huh, I think you're right. I just......

I need to get some sleep. I just... I need to think this through.

Yeah. Cool. See you later.

No, I'm, uh... I'm crashing.

My eyes are... my eyes are closing.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna lay down in Balls' room, okay?

- He won't mind. - What? You... you know what,

your white privilege is getting ridiculous.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

Coming.

I'm coming!

Greetings and salutations, Floyd.

Yeah, you know what, you gotta go.

I ain't got nothing to say to you.

Hit the road, lady. Skedaddle.

Okay, hold... yeah... yes, I deserve that, okay,

but I'm here to apologize.

I just need five minutes of your time. Please hear me out.

I have a second breakfast meeting. I won't be long.

Floyd, I'm sorry. I am.

Things got way out of control.

I should've let you know what you were getting into

before we slept together.

Damn right you fucking should have.

It's just, it was only supposed to be that one night of fun,

and then I got greedy, and things got way out of hand,

- and then kids got involved. - Yeah.

I didn't... I didn't see that one coming.

But you know what, I think this is gonna be

actually really good for your career.

It's... it's a blank slate.

I'll help Malcolm find you another gig.

I'll make him think it was his idea.

And Teddy's just so unpredictable.

- I think he's using again. - Oh, you think?

So, we're good?

As good as two people can be,

when one fucked the other one over in a big way.

Sure.

Moment of complete honesty?

Being here again is making me slightly horny.

- Moment of complete honesty? - Yeah.

You're a crazy bitch.

But I'm a fun crazy bitch.

All right, look...

in about 15 minutes, I'm gonna walk through that door,

and I'm never coming back to this dump,

so the... the way I see it...

If we don't capitalize on the next 15 minutes,

it's just a waste of perfectly good private parts.

Yeah.

Oh, hell no.

- Who was it? - It's your husband.

Fucking cock blocker. God damn it.

- Does he know you're here? - I don't know. Maybe.

Our therapist told us

to download this app that helps us track each other's phones.

- Why? - Well, because I caught him cheating,

and then he became super paranoid

about me revenge-cheating,

and then I became obsessed with him cheating again,

and... the app keeps us honest.

Things are going real great for you guys.

You know what, that couples therapist,

- worth every fucking dime. - I think so.

Okay...

- Floyd... - Peter?

May I come in please?

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a little busy, you know,

being suddenly and viciously unemployed and all.

That's why I'm here, Floyd.

I've come, hat in hand, to beg your pardon.

Go stuff your sorry's and your saggy balls in a sack.

- See ya. - No, wait, Floyd... Floyd...

Floyd, uh, just one minute of your time?

You're... you're hurting my foot.

Just... yeah, quite badly. Thank you, um... ooh.

I... I have a bad case of, uh, plantar fasciitis...

Um, otherwise known as policeman's heel.

Gosh... Do... do you know,

I have not lived in a place like this

since... Who am I kidding?

I've never lived in a place like this. I was born rich.

Good for you, Peter.

Oh, yes, look at this rig, Floyd. Whoo!

Yes, I imagine this is where the action happens.

Am I right?

Okay, here's the thing,

I, uh... I couldn't sleep last night.

Yeah, I was tossing, I was turning.

Do you know, it turns out

that there really is a thing called white guilt.

Yes, so I've decided,

that I must come here and unburden myself.

Yes, I have wielded my power like a scythe, Floyd,

fucking over plebeian lives and livelihoods,

- and it is wrong, Floyd... - Yeah.

- And I'm sorry. - So the project's back on?

Oh, no, not at all. No, it's completely dead.

It's tainted for me.

Also, I have a feeling

that Teddy may have fallen off the wagon.

- What's down here? - So why are you here?

You could've texted me that shit.

I wanted to look into your eyes, Floyd.

Yes, I did.

I wanted to feel your grip.

That's solid.

And I wanted to feel the strength...

- Oh, okay. - Of your embrace.

- Okay. Okay. Okay. - Oh, yes.

Oh, that's... that's... that's lovely...

- Okay. - Really lovely.

- I feel so much better. - Mm.

Thank you. Bless you.

You have a beautiful home.

Cheerio.

Toodle-pip.

What did he want?

Like husband, like wife, came to apologize.

- White guilt. - Fucking pussy.

All right, are we gonna do this or what?

That's it.

Woman, you are not hearing my words.

We are not doing this.

I don't want anything to do with you

or your husband or your dysfunctional family circus.

Okay, Floyd, loud and clear.

Thanks for the fucking blue balls...

- Yeah. - Again.

What the...

Come on, Floyd. Come on.

Open up, dog. I can hear footsteps.

I know you're in there.

Come on, buddy.