Baby Daddy

This is such a sweet ride.

I haven't ridden one of these babies in years.

Hey, there you are.

Yeah, it looks safe to me, Emma.

So, guess which adorable neighbor, who you should totally date,

- I just had lunch with? - Zoey.

Oh, my god, it's like talking to you in a dress.

You two are practically the same person.

I'm not going out with her.

You guys are perfect for each other.

She's mature.

She has her head screwed on right.

She's a grown-up.

You honestly have no idea what men find attractive about women, do you?

How about I show you?

Do you remember Sam?

The girl of my dreams...

Yeah, we're sleeping together.

Yeah, in separate rooms,

which is what we call a roommate.

Ben, move on.

Or move on up...

to the sixth floor, where Zoey lives.

Again, it's not gonna happen.

Other than both being single parents, we pretty much have nothing in common.

Oh. You hang out up here, too. Perfect.

Well, at least I don't steal t-shirts from the laundry room.

That's my Frontier Surgeons shirt.

Uh, no. It's mine.

I love them.

First concert that I ever went to.

No way! That was my first concert. Madison Square Garden.

- Wait, Christmas 2006? - Yeah.

Oh, my god, how amazing is this?

I mean, what are the chances that you two would have so much in common?

A lot. Because you're perfect for each other.

Ow! Ow!

Emma... Oh! That was my foot.

Nice work, Emma.

Baby Daddy - 05x09 - Stupid Cupid

Riley, stop.

I have no interest in going out with Zoey whatsoever.

Well, obviously.

I mean, if you did, I wouldn't have

to keep bothering you about it.

Ben, I love you. And I might feel

just a titch guilty about,

like, one or two things that happened between us.

Really, just a titch?

My point is I want you to be happy,

and sometimes the person we think we want

isn't the person who's right for us.

Is that how you sold it to yourself when you dumped me?

Oh, my god. Okay. Look.

The only reason you think you don't want Zoey

is because she's available.

Right? If she had guys chasing after her, you'd be all like,

"See ya, Sam. Oh, hey, Zoey."

Or even better... bye, Riley.

Oh! And what's-his-name misses the shot!

The puck's over there. No, it's over there!

Now it's over there!

What are you doing?

Oh, hey, bro.

Just practicing a little play-by-play.

Think I'm a natural.

Don't get offended if I practice ignoring you.

I'm a natural at that.

It's Ben and Emma around the couch. Will they stop for milk?

Nope, it's straight to the bedroom.

It's naptime here in apartment 4D.

What up, chicken butt?

Oh. It's Mom, out of nowhere!

She's across the room in a flash.

Who's her target?

Yes, the Chardonnay takes the hit!

What do you think?

I think a lot of things,

but I'm not crazy, so I don't say them all out loud.

No, I'm thinking about getting into sports

commentating when my hockey career is over.

It's a great idea, right?

Mmm.

Yeah, I'm not sure "great" is the word we're looking for,

but it is definitely an idea.

Nailed it.

Oh, so you don't believe in me either?

That's exactly what my manager said.

What?

No one tells my baby what he can or can't do.

That's my job.

Screw your new manager.

You need your old mom-ager.

If there's one thing I know how to do,

it's help make your dreams come true.

Except the one time the Make-A-Wish Foundation

called my bluff and they made us return that pony.

You know, I had a dream just like this,

except Tucker was standing on an airplane wing.

What? Oh, okay.

- Thank you, Mrs. Wheeler. - Yeah.

Danny, this window's sticking again.

I've called Julio six times

and he still has not fixed it.

Maybe it's because the super's name is Warren.

Really?

Because I gave our apartment key to a guy named Julio.

Really?

What were you doing out there, anyway?

Oh. So, I was rehearsing for an audition,

to be WNY-8's new weather man.

Cloudy with a chance of Tucker.

Wait, wait. I thought you wanted to be an entertainment reporter?

I do! This is a stepping stone.

Today the sun, tomorrow the stars.

God, I'm good!

Oh, my god! This is perfect!

If WNY-8's gonna let this nobody do the weather,

it would let this somebody do the sports!

New York Ranger Danny Wheeler. I'm a genius!

How did my good news become about you?

It's a gift.

This is us.

I still can't believe Riley Perrin is setting me up.

To be honest, I was pretty sure you didn't even know who I was.

Of course I know.

You're the guy who's desk I pass everyday.

Hey, Ben. Hey, is Zoey here?

Um, no, but that's only because she doesn't live here.

Oh. Oh, this is Rick. He's a lawyer.

Yeah, he and Zoey are kind of becoming an item.

Actually, it's Roger.

I'm a paralegal, and I haven't even met her yet.

But you will. You will.

And then I'll be all like, "Get a room, you two." Am I right?

I haven't even seen a picture.

Hope it works out for you, Rog.

Hey, maybe we can all go on a double date sometime

with me and my girlfriend, Sam.

Roommate, she's your roommate.

Not for long, okay?

Tonight, I'm going to be grilling some steaks when she gets home,

we'll watch the sunset, have a drink.

Then by the time the sun rises,

this cock-a-doodle will do.

No. No, no, no.

Aw, I'm so sorry.

I really thought Zoey was going to be here. Okay, bye, Randy!

Honey, hi.

Where are you going?

I've got a meeting about doing sports for WNY-8.

Oh, my god.

You talking on camera, that's so...

Great?

Great, yes. Oh!

Oh, crap. I forgot to tell Ben that Sam called.

I'm sorry, Sam called you? Why did Sam call you?

Because she works for me.

She's not gonna be home tonight because she's going camping with friends.

And she asked if I would cover for her.

Okay, wait. Danny, hello.

I mean, your career needs to come first.

You don't want to be late for your big meeting.

So I'll tell Ben that Sam won't be home tonight. All right? Good luck.

Aw, thanks, babe. You're the best.

Yes, I am the best.

I think I pressed the wrong button.

So tonight, expect low temperatures

and increasing clouds.

I'm Tucker Dobbs, making predictions with convictions.

Let's go to Agnes in the traffic chopper.

What's up, Agnes? Besides you.

This is the chance of a lifetime.

"WNY-8 news, with Dallas Goldberg, Pamela Bishop,

and New York Ranger Danny Wheeler on sports."

Look, Bonnie,

if I was the kind of guy who took chances,

I'd be married to my college roommate's mom

and we'd be living in Boca right now.

But the only opening we have right now is in weather.

So don't listen to those other snobs,

get your weather from Tucker Dobbs.

Oh, man! Dude!

That was an awesome audition.

I totally believed it was going to rain today.

It is.

There he is. Looks like we've found our new weather man.

Oh, my god, really?

Congratulations, Danny.

Welcome aboard.

Me? Why?

Him? Why?

Okay, you know what? Don't ask questions we don't have answers to.

- Let's go, Danny. - But I don't want to do the weather.

Yes, you do. You love weather!

- What did you do, Mom? - I kept my shirt on the whole time!

Steaks grilling.

Sun setting.

Bottle opener

forgetting.